1, the New Year is too unlucky, I have a cold, go to the hospital for injections, the little nurse finished mixing the potion, let me lie on the bed, the little nurse looked at my ass, exclaimed: My God, you must be big

1, the New Year is too unlucky, I have a cold, go to the hospital for injections, the little nurse finished mixing the potion, let me lie on the bed, the little nurse looked at my ass, exclaimed: My God, you must be a rich and noble person! Me: How? Nurse: I think at the beginning, Zhu Yuanzhang had seventy-two stars on his face, became an emperor, Cixi had seven stars on the soles of his feet, and became an empress, and you even had seven stars on your ass, which hurt my brother! I said: Sister, you think too much, today is the second day in a row of injections... Yesterday the nurse was poorly skilled, and 6 more stitches were given... Spring Festival stalls

2. Father and son go up the mountain to fight tigers, but they overestimate their combat effectiveness. The father climbed the tree, but the son did not have time to go up the tree, lying on the ground and pretending to die. The tiger walked over to his son, sniffed and walked away. The father jumped off the tree when he saw the tiger gone, and the son said, "Do you know what the tiger just said to me?" Father shook his head: "I don't know. Son: "It said that in the future, he would fight tigers with his biological father!" ”

3. When I was just in junior high school, I was completely conquered by the handsome face of the teacher; when the teacher introduced himself: "I am your class teacher, I hope that in the next three years, we can get along happily" I don't know which tendon is wrong, stand up and shout: "Teacher! Do you have a girlfriend? "I shouted out in this voice! It made the classroom laugh incessantly, and I was also transferred directly from the last row to the first row by the teacher because of this, and called my mother to the school, saying that my myopia was particularly serious, and men and women could not distinguish between them.

4. On a train from Harbin to Shanghai, a man and a woman meet in the same sleeper box. It was very awkward to come up at first, but soon, the fatigue still made them fall asleep, the man sleeping on the top bunk, the woman sleeping on the bottom bunk. At two o'clock in the night, the man woke up and woke up the woman sleeping on the bottom bunk: "I'm sorry, but I froze to death on it, can you please hand me another blanket?" The woman looked at the man, her eyes flowing, and said to the man, "I have a better way to let us pretend to be husband and wife. The man was stunned, but immediately replied: "Good, great, I really didn't expect it!" He was visibly overwhelmed: "So what do we do now?" The woman turned around on the bunk, faced the wall of the car box, and said, "You won't take it yourself!" ”?

5. Soon after I got married, although my wife was 10 years older than me, we were still in love, and she also bought me my favorite Maybach. Today I was driving the Maybach for a ride on the street, and I didn't expect to be at a fork in the road, a little distracted and rubbed a big aunt down. Frightened, I quickly got out of the car to check the situation and said: Sister, are you okay? The big aunt climbed up and patted her clothes, smiled and said: The boy's mouth is really sweet, sister is fine, you go!

6, every time I see those junior high school students in love, I will advise them: "Children, life is still a long way, your age is the time to study, don't learn those bad habits, and it is not too late to talk when you are as old as your uncle." Listen to your uncle and give them to us first, okay? "But every time these kids don't listen, they have to chase me!"

7. According to my wife, the father-in-law and the mother-in-law have never quarreled since they got married, and they have always been very affectionate. Yesterday the two of them didn't know what was going on, they all broke out, and they kept arguing. The mother-in-law couldn't argue anymore and said, "I'm going to get a divorce, I can't live this day." The old man also roared and said, "But no matter who does not leave whose grandson!" I don't want a penny, I give it to you, the house is for you, the car is for you, the son-in-law is for you, and I'm for you!" The sip of water I just drank almost didn't choke me...

8, the neighbor's sister is very beautiful, I have always had a crush on her, she has a six-year-old niece. I'll buy snacks for my little niece and bribe her to give me intelligence! Yesterday I saw her and a man appear arm in arm, and I angrily approached my little niece and asked her, "Why didn't you tell me?" The little girl cried and told me: "My aunt already has a boyfriend, but the snacks you sent are so delicious, I am afraid to tell you that you will not send it to me, uncle, you don't have to be sad, it is really not okay to wait for me to grow up, I will give you a wife!" ”

9. One day, the company boss returned to the office after the physical examination, and his face was sad. The female secretary brought a cup of coffee and asked the boss with concern what was going on? The boss held out two fingers to the female secretary and said: Two bad things. The female secretary said: Then you say it in one breath, the boss sighed and said: My son's test scores are not good, and the 3 courses add up to not as high as my blood pressure.

10, looking at the angry mother in front of you, the son is a little dismissive! The old mother stared at her son and said, "Fighting with your best friend, aren't you ashamed?" The son listened to the retort and said, "But he hit me with a stone first, so I threw him with a stone!" The old mother listened to the angry education and said, "He threw you a stone, you should come back and tell me right away!" Son: "What's the use of that?" I played better than you. ”

11. My brother's house was demolished, and he became a rich man overnight, driving a Rolls-Royce Phantom and wearing a Rolex watch on his hand. On weekends, my brother took me out to play. In the highway service area, I saw my ex-girlfriend selling drinks on the side of the road, so I said to my brother: Brother, she dumped me in the first place, you got off the car at the front corner and waited for me, I drove back to install a handful in front of her!! Then I drove the Rolls-Royce to my ex-girlfriend's booth, got out of the car and said: "Come two bottles of water!" Hey, how are you?? My ex-girlfriend was obviously surprised to see me. She stared at the luxury car next to me and said: "I haven't seen you for a long time, it's a good mix!" After some greetings, I took the float. But, damn, I habitually sat in the co-pilot!!?

#Funny Moment #Funny Funny Paragraph ##搞笑幽默趣闻 #