1. The New Year is too unlucky, I have a cold, go to the hospital for injections, the little nurse finished the potion, let me lie on the bed, the little nurse looked at my ass, exclaimed: Oh my God, you must be a rich and noble person! Me: How? Nurse: I think at the beginning, Zhu Yuanzhang had seventy-two stars on his face, became an emperor, Cixi had seven stars on the soles of his feet, and became an empress, and you even had seven stars on your ass, which hurt my brother! I said: Sister, you think too much, today is the second day in a row of injections... Yesterday the nurse was poorly skilled, and 6 more stitches were given... Spring Festival stalls
2. Tonight my little secretary and I need to work overtime to revise a batch of documents, and in the evening I will go to have a late night snack together. Then the little secretary greeted a bald man who passed by, and the big man calmly "um" and left. So I tentatively asked the little secretary, "How do you know this person, with a big scar on his face?" The little secretary smiled and said, "His scar is because of me, and I will always call him brother." "At that time, I was really impressed with the little secretary, full of swords and swords, blood and rain. Then the little secretary went on to say, "He's my coach, and I hit a tree while learning to drive." ”
3. The wife's beautiful and sexy girlfriend fell out of love, because there was no place to live, so she lived in my house. The daughter-in-law arranged for the girlfriend to live in the bedroom, and we slept in the living room, and as a result, there was an accident at night! After all, we live in a one-bedroom and one-bedroom small apartment, the girlfriend wanted to sleep on the sofa in the living room, but the daughter-in-law felt that the girlfriend was a guest, should live in the bedroom, and also did not trust me, after all, a sexy big beauty slept on the sofa, in and out of the can not avoid suspicion. My girlfriend and I had no say, we could only listen to the arrangement, and as a result, when I went to bed at night, I fell off the couch three times, which was really miserable! The next day, my girlfriend gave us an analysis, and she thought that the sofa was too narrow and my daughter-in-law was too wide, so she would squeeze me down. The daughter-in-law said in a nonchalant manner: "If you two live together, won't you be fine?" The girlfriend nodded and did not speak, and I quickly refused sternly: "Pull it down!" She has a fox smell on her, do you want to smoke me to death? I'm not with her!" The girlfriend didn't say anything, but the daughter-in-law stared at us and fell into thought.
4. I was admitted to a key high school, and the biology teacher was lecturing to my classmates that day. The teacher said: "The pig is a very useful animal, its flesh can be eaten, its skin can be made of leather, its hair can be used as a brush, and now who can say that it has other uses?" No one answered, and the teacher nodded, "You get up and answer!" Ah Wei thought for a moment, and then said very confidently: "Teacher, its name can be cursed." ”
5. The sister-in-law has worked at Ali for three years and recently wanted to buy a Lexus 570, but the full amount of 1.6 million is still 300,000. This morning, my sister-in-law called me. I thought it was to ask me for support, but I didn't expect that she said that her ex-boyfriend had already helped her pay. I was surprised and said, "Your ex-boyfriend is not bad to you!" The sister-in-law replied, "It's okay, I just let them out of 5,000 alone!" "I went, I was stunned, and I hurt my sister-in-law...
6. A while ago, I drank with a few buddies at midnight and 5 bottles of beer. Well almost withdraw it, halfway bladder is uncomfortable, found a dark corner full of cars to solve, just halfway through suddenly facing my car lights up, there is actually a female driver looking at me stupidly, yes is the female driver, the taste of the heart at that time... Hey, now I'm my wife!
7. Some time ago, my sister-in-law went on a business trip and sent his husky to my house for foster care. I don't know how to tease it, it always ignores me, but it likes to play with mom, and mom is happy. After my sister-in-law came to pick up the husky, my mother touched the husky's head and said, "This dog is really well-behaved, and it also knows aesthetics."
8. I've been staying home since I quit my job from one of the world's top five companies. A few days ago, I asked a buddy to go hiking. As a result, he said he couldn't go, that a friend was getting married, and that he was nominated to be a best man. I said to him: Then you are very good, and this year's groomsmen are not casual. The buddy said with a sad face: What a stick, the groom has a small heart, a strong jealous heart, the groomsmen choose many friends and think that I am ugly in strength, and the appearance is under him... After saying that, I also spit on the ground with hatred!
#Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #年度搞笑名场面 #
A wave of wonderful GIFs to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
