1, my wife went abroad, there are only two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 48 years old, still looks charming, or the financial director of a company, there are many single men are admired

1, my wife went abroad, there are two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 48 years old, looks still charming, is still the financial director of a company, there are many single men who love my mother-in-law and want to pursue her. One day the chairman of our company came up to me and said she was divorced and asked me when I was going to get divorced and she was going to marry me. I cried and laughed and said, my wife and I have a very good relationship, why should I get a divorce? The chairman sighed and said, I know you can't look at me, then I will bury this love in my heart, this burial is so many years! I asked the chairman, is her husband the chairman of another company? In fact, my mother-in-law was the financial director of your ex-husband's company, and since you have divorced him, I think he and my mother-in-law are a good match. The chairman nodded thoughtfully, smiled and said, this is very good, I do have a guilty heart for my husband, if he can be with your mother-in-law, then I will be at ease.?

2, in the morning to work to be late, hard to stop a taxi, but also by a woman into the way. I took out 100 yuan and gave it to the master, and said to the driver: My girlfriend is playing with her temper, please send her to the airport, if she changes the destination in the middle, don't pay attention to her. Master: Good! One foot on the throttle and you're gone!

3, just arrived at the new company soon after to the company to pull a 10 million large customer, the manager said to reward me 20,000 yuan. I couldn't enjoy it, and a week passed and the money hadn't arrived. Presumably the manager forgot, so every time I see him, I keep pressing 2 with a voice calculator. Just now, I was fired and the manager said that every time I saw him, I would scold him with a calculator!?

4. I lost my left leg due to an accident when I worked in an electronics factory, and after my job was gone, I did live broadcasting at home. Later, I met a rich woman fan, we added A V letter, and the conversation was good, so I was ready to go to Henan to find her. But because I didn't have much money on my body, I had to take a long-distance bus. In the car, I suddenly heard a woman anxiously saying: My son can't hold back, who has an empty bottle, borrow me to use it!! In the spirit of helping others, I put the large bottle of drink in my hand to my mouth, lifted my head and drank it all, and handed the bottle to her. Half an hour later, I asked the driver with a look of pain: Master, how long will it take to get to the service area? I can't hold back!!

5. I was studying at Tsinghua University, and the first time I ate in the school's cafeteria, I was routined by the canteen aunt. Go buy donkey meat stuffed buns, 10 bucks a piece, and I asked, "Are the buns hot?" Cafeteria Aunt: "No! "I reached for it, and I ended up", "Ah," and Threw the bun on the ground with a bang. At this time, the aunt said, "It's hot." ”?

6. When I leave work from Alipay headquarters, it is already 9:30 p.m., and I still have to cook when I get home. While I was busy cutting vegetables, I accused my wife: How good it is when we are in love, the housework is all done by you, and I am next to help you. The daughter-in-law drank a little wine and returned without hurrying: Didn't you all learn it? What else can I do? Me: You see you lie at home every day, why do you take all my salary? Her: Oh, don't you have to charge a tuition fee to teach you so many skills?

7. When I was exploring the cemetery, I met a girl who was as bold as me. Half a month later, she became my girlfriend. Today, I followed her home to meet my parents, and I was very nervous. My girlfriend comforted me and said, "Don't be nervous, it's okay, my mother is very enthusiastic to see people." As a result, as soon as I entered the door, my aunt opened her mouth and said, "Boy, how old are you??" Do you have a girlfriend? Why don't you introduce you to one?? "I was messy on the spot.

8. I came to the river with my wife at night, and my wife stood in front of me and turned around. She: "Husband, can you see that I am a pound thinner than before?" Then I picked up a small rock from the river and threw it into the river, and then said to her, "Wife, you see that there is a stone missing from the beach, can you see any difference?" "Then she came up and gave me a kick...

9, I am a foodie who often buys some small snacks that I have not eaten online. Yesterday the courier took it, dad unwrapped the herring-flavored spicy strips, he ate it with relish, and then asked me if I wanted to try it? I ate a small piece, oh my God, super unpalatable and spicy and smelly, I took a sip of the drink and pressed it down, and it kept being spicy to my stomach. When I looked back, I saw that my father's snot and tears were all coming out, and he said: Don't say spicy first, take it to your mother to taste.

10. When the students gathered, they went with their four-year-old daughter. Not long after the opening of the table, some people couldn't help but start showing off their wealth. Take the car keys, show the watch, this says Rolex, how many tens of thousands, that says the limited version of how many tens of thousands. My girlfriend couldn't help it: "Your watch is not as good as mine, my watch can call and take pictures." ”

11, when I had a child with my girlfriend in college, her family was very angry, so I had to use 1,000 bitcoins to marry her home. After marriage, she gave birth to a son for me, and our family of three lived a happy and happy life, and now that my son is in the first grade this year, he has been frowning when he comes back from school today. Me: What's wrong? Bullied at school? Son: I'm out of love! Me: Yo, don't girls look up to you? Son: No, she said she was busy giving us homework every day and didn't have time to fall in love!?

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