Text/Little Snow Mom
The second child has always been a very hot topic, although the third child has also been released, but there are not many families that have two children, and there are even fewer families that have three children, so everyone still habitually discusses the problem of having a second child.
Remember that the two-child policy was just released that meeting, many elderly people urged their children to have a second child, some families resisted the pressure and did not choose to have a child, and some families did not resist the parents' nagging, and soon chose the second child.
As the old man said, if you can have one more child, the children have a companion with each other, and in the future, you will share the pressure with the child when you are old, while we can still bring the baby, and in a few years, if you want to have a second child, you can't help it.
That is, under the nagging and persuasion of the elderly, a considerable number of families also chose to have a second child, at first everyone thought it was very good, and raising a second child would not be tired, but in fact, is this really the case?
The first batch of "blindly following birth" two-child families, now "the original form is exposed"
Colleague Linlin and her husband got pregnant within a year of marriage, according to the couple's idea, originally planned to have a child, there is a mortgage in the family, the future of the child will have to go to school pressure is quite large, husband and wife both have to come out to work.
It was not easy for the first child daughter to go to kindergarten at the age of three, Linlin also just established a foothold in the company, the mother-in-law in the family began to urge the second child, indicating that the regeneration of a son into a "good" word, the future child has a companion, and finally Linlin did not resist the mother-in-law's soft and hard bubbles, and wanted to have a son for the second child.
At first, everything was very good, the child had a mother-in-law to help take care of it, but the two children's mother-in-law could not handle it at all, and Linlin had to take the baby at home. In this way, there are fewer people who make money, there is more money to spend, and the life in the family is tight, and even the retired father-in-law has begun to go out to work for people to earn money subsidies.
The family spends a lot of money and has to pay off the mortgage, the quality of life plummets, Lin Lin has not bought new clothes for a long time, cosmetics only dare to use some bargains, and the mother-in-law's body is also good and bad, and the family is even more busy.
Linlin has some regrets about this, she should have insisted on her own opinion, and should not have taken the risk of having a second child, which has a great impact on the growth of the whole family for the child.
The problem of having a second child or less must be considered in advance, and do not blindly follow the trend
Many elderly people feel that a child is also raising two children, the children in the family are more lively, the child can grow up to have a companion, and the pressure of two children will be less in the future.
These statements are all reasonable, but there are also some problems that families must face, and we must live in the present while looking to the future.
First, there is not enough economic capacity
The Internet has seen a kindergarten bill, children in private kindergartens a year tuition fees of more than 10,000, for many families working in the city, the problem of children going to school is very realistic, public kindergartens are limited, private kindergarten tuition is not cheap, a child is fine, two children do not have enough financial ability is certainly not OK.
Coupled with daily expenses, mortgages and car loans, children will go to school in the future of various interest classes, training classes, these living expenses and education investment are not a small amount, since we have children, we have to be responsible for the children's lives, spend money everywhere, economic ability is really important.
Second, there is no time to take the kids
When the first child is born, there are old people in the family to help, and the mother can get out as soon as possible, but if it is a second child in the home, the old man will definitely be too busy to take care of the two children, so it is necessary for the mother to stay at home to take care of the child.
The whole family relies on the husband's income alone, the economic pressure is certainly very large, and the growth of the child requires parents to invest a lot of energy, it takes a lot of energy to educate a child, and the two children really have no free time to do other things, which is also a forced choice for the mother.
Third, whether the growth of two children can be treated fairly and justly
Many families around them have a daughter for the first time, and they want to fight for a son with a second child, and this idea itself is unfair to the child. The most taboo thing about the growth of children is "eccentricity", if the treatment of two children can not be fair and just bowl of water, then it will not only affect the feelings between children, but also affect the child's personality growth.
Therefore, if parents give birth to a second child is planning to fight for a son with a second child, then it is still not recommended to have a child, otherwise it will hurt Dabao and leave imperfections for the growth of children.
To have a second child should be based more on "loving children"
I think that whether to consider having a second child, in addition to considering economic ability, time and energy, but also to ask yourself from the bottom of your heart, whether you really want children.
Some families may have average financial ability, but they really like their children, are willing to spend time for the growth of their children, and are willing to work hard to cultivate their children's future, so it is no problem to have a second child in this case. But if it is the elderly who are forced to make up their minds, or do not give birth, otherwise they are more tired and delay the child.
I am Xiaoxue mom, a post-90s mother, pay attention to me, and share scientific parenting knowledge every day!