Many mothers know such a sentence: "three-year-old beds, five-year-old rooms", and even strictly based on this age, force children to sleep in separate beds or rooms with themselves.
In fact, when the child sleeps in separate rooms there is no strict age requirement, if the child has the following two situations, parents must carefully consider, if at this time also forced to sleep in separate rooms, the impact on the child will be great.
01 Children are not suitable for two situations where they sleep in separate rooms, parents should be cautious
My daughter is more than five years old, and I have been struggling with whether to give her a separate room to sleep independently, in order to be able to sleep in a separate room, we specially trained her.
At nine o'clock in the evening, I went to my small room with her to read the picture book, and after reading it for ten minutes, I let her sleep, because I had told her in advance: starting tonight, she would sleep by herself, and my mother would wait for her to fall asleep before going back to her room to sleep.
She listened to my request and did not express strong opposition, but when it came time to sleep at night, she usually fell asleep in ten minutes, and this time she did not sleep for more than half an hour, and I obviously felt that her mood was getting more and more anxious.
I asked her, "Linlin, what's wrong?" She saw me asking, and the emotions that had been endured for a long time finally broke out, and she cried with a wow, and this cry scared me, and I hurriedly carried her back to my room and coaxed her to stop for a long time.
But even if she didn't cry, she still held me and kept saying, "Mom, I'm afraid to sleep by myself, I want to sleep with my mother." "Mom, I don't want to sleep in a room by myself, I'm afraid"... Linlin turned over and over these few words, her few words made me feel guilty for a long time, it seems that "three-year-old bed, five-year-old room" Although there is a certain scientific basis, but it is obvious that it is not suitable for every child, such as my daughter, more than 5 years old, she can not accept the matter of sleeping in separate rooms.
The good thing about Linlin is that she will show her emotions, and even if some children are not willing to accept them, she hides her emotions like an adult and does not express them in front of her parents.
My brother's daughter Dan Dan, when they were more than 4 years old, they wanted to give their children a room to sleep in, so as to train their children's ability to be independent. When my brother and Dan Dan said, "Baby, you'll sleep in your pink little bed by yourself tonight, okay?" ”
Dan Dan was obviously stunned when she heard her father say this, but Dan Dan was more introverted and usually more sensible, and after a while he still whispered: "Okay, Dad." ”
The first night, her mother went back to her room after coaxing Dan Dan to sleep, one night they were safe, the next day she woke up and her mother went to pick her up, Dan Dan had a small retreating movement, her mother was stunned, but did not think too much.
This kind of room sharing lasted for more than a month, and my brother and sister found that Dan Dan seemed to be more introverted than before, and used to come back from kindergarten to share some interesting things with them in kindergarten, but now when they come back, they stay in the living room or room to play with toys and don't talk at other times except for eating.
My younger sister knows that I have studied psychology, and immediately told me about this situation, as soon as I heard it, I knew that the child must have affected her psychology because of the matter of sleeping in separate rooms, her reaction was completely different from Linlin, Linlin could not hide things in her heart, and a little grievance would be vented, and Dandan was just the opposite, she was very able to hide her emotions.
Dan Dan, who is more than 4 years old, is obviously unwilling to sleep separately from her parents, because this will make her very insecure, but she is very sensible, and she would rather be wronged than say no to her parents, so that the accumulation of hidden emotions to a certain extent may cause serious psychological problems, and even one day it will completely erupt out, causing irreversible harm!
So, when a child shows in a strong or silent way that "I don't want to sleep alone," "I'm afraid," etc., instead of forcing the child, it's better to go with the flow.
02 Age is not the only basis for children to sleep in separate rooms, children have this performance to try to sleep independently
In fact, age is not the only basis for children to sleep in separate rooms, when parents try to give 3-6-year-old children a room to sleep, we must pay attention to the child's emotional and behavioral reactions.
When the child's reaction is more intense, parents should stop sleeping in the child's room in time, or when the child's superficial reaction is very calm, but their later performance is different from the past, such as becoming less talkative, more indifferent, or the relationship with the parents begins to be estranged, etc. We as parents should also notice and do a good job of comforting the child in time.
In fact, parents can do some bedding work before giving their children a room to sleep, so that children can slowly adapt to the fact that they no longer sleep with their parents.
First, starting at the age of 4, try to build a small bed next to the large bed and let the child sleep independently in the small bed.
Second, read some independent picture books with children, and slowly cultivate children's sense of independence, only if children are willing to be independent, that is a good time to start sleeping in separate rooms.
Third, the mother or father can try to sleep with the child in the children's room, let the child familiarize himself with his room first, and build a sense of security for the child, so that he can slowly face a new environment independently.
After going through such a process, the child has begun to accept that he and his parents sleep separately, so that we can try to let the child sleep in a separate room.
Ma Yili mentioned that her daughter loves horses, chatting with classmates and finding that everyone has slept in a room alone, she came home and proposed to her mother that she also wanted to sleep alone, just like this, AiMa realized the separation of rooms to sleep, and very crisp and clean, there is no crying fear of children sleeping in separate rooms.
Therefore, if the child takes the initiative to be willing, it is the best time to sleep in separate rooms, as long as it is normal to complete the separate room before the age of 10, parents must not be too anxious!
Anthropology professor James McKenna said that infants and young children are biologically habitually close to their mothers, and that the mother's body is the only environment in which the baby truly adapts.
As a mother, cherish the days of sleeping with your children, it will be the most precious time in your life!
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