1. The man sneaked into a rich man's house in the middle of the night, knocked the man unconscious with a wooden stick, and then carried out a crazy sweep, and when he was about to leave, he suddenly heard a shout in the bathroom: "I washed well, you enter."

1. The man sneaked into a rich man's house in the middle of the night, knocked the man unconscious with a wooden stick, and then carried out a crazy sweep, and when he was about to leave, he suddenly heard a shout in the bathroom: "I'm washed, you come in!" So the man moved evil thoughts and rushed into the bathroom, the man can never forget, in the bathroom, his wife saw his surprised expression.

2. On the weekend, I had a picnic with my daughter-in-law, my girlfriend, and 3 people in a caravan, drank some beer, and played Truth or Dare together, and my girlfriend asked my daughter-in-law: "If you give me ten million, let you give Bob to me, will you?" "I was excited at the time, I was Xiaoming, I didn't expect my daughter-in-law's beautiful girlfriend to actually have ideas about me, I had to criticize her back, I wanted to get me, just say it, do you need 10 million?" Our family's money can't be spent indiscriminately. The daughter-in-law said: "No, 50 million is not enough!" "Oh, I was touched again, it was so embarrassing. The girlfriend was curious and asked her why. The daughter-in-law sneered, "When will you be able to pay me back the 1,000 yuan you owe me?" ”"

3. In the morning, my sister was changing clothes in the house, I went in without knocking on the door, and my sister screamed and covered her upper body with her clothes. I said: What are you afraid of, our father went to work, I am at home with my mother, are all women, what are you afraid of. My sister replied: I am afraid that you have low self-esteem... My eldest sister-in-law's bathroom was broken, so she came to my house to borrow the bathroom to take a shower. It just so happened that my wife was on a business trip again, and at night there were two people at home, me and my eldest sister-in-law. My eldest sister-in-law said to me, it is not convenient for me to take a bath at home, you still go out for a walk. I'm a little upset. You borrow my bathroom to take a shower and waste my house's water and electricity. Soap, shampoo. Now let me go out for a walk. This is not enough to say. So I said angrily to my sister-in-law. You give me ten dollars, and I'm going to buy a cup of milk tea to drink. The eldest sister-in-law snorted, only gave me eight dollars, and said to me, just buy a cup of milk tea for eight dollars. Hey, this big sister-in-law is really stingy, the next time she comes to borrow the bathroom, I promise not to open the door for her.

4. During the class on this day, the teacher was very serious. The teacher asked in class: "What will happen to the general object when it is cold and hot?" The table mate replied, "Thermal expansion and contraction." The teacher nodded, saw me sleeping, called me up and said, "Can you give me an example?" I said, "For example, summer is hot, so the days are long; winter is cold, so the days are short." This is the reason for the thermal expansion and contraction. ”

5. Wanda was eating braised noodles and drinking Coke when I saw a message from my uncle on my phone: "Come to my place of work today." "I drove an excavator to my uncle's construction site and met the high school class president, who was moving bricks. I said to the class leader, "Why did the original class leader who was both good in character and excellent character fall to this point?" My uncle said to me, "Of course, if I hadn't secretly burned your admission letter to Tsinghua University!" You are just like him! ”

6. At 23:00 p.m., my way home must pass through an underground passage, and today I feel gloomy and empty. Fortunately, I saw a young man walking in front of me, and I picked up speed to follow him. I didn't expect that I was fast and the boy was fast, I trotted to chase, but the boy stood still. He turned back to me and yelled angrily: Big sister, what do you want to do, it's scary for you to follow me like this!

7. My hometown was demolished, and my parents used the compensation of 8 million yuan to buy a hardcover restoration in the city and called me to move. There was nothing left in my hometown, and I wanted to take away an air conditioner that had just been installed for a long time, so I went up and disassembled it. As a result, I didn't think that the electricity was actually leaking, the power was not big, I thought of a dad to say, pay attention: Dad, I was electrocuted! Just after saying that, before I could move, my father suddenly roared and kicked me off the chair.

8. The headset I bought for 5999 yuan, the left side of the water into the water, the sound became very small. I thought about it for a moment, and Threw my right side into the water for a while, and the sound on both sides was as small as it was, and I was so witty. The result did not take long, the left side was good again, only the right side of the voice was small, and I felt like a fool in an instant. Once again, the left side threw water into the water for a while, and now the voices on both sides were just as small, still admiring their wit. Calm down and I find that I'm still an idiot.

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #