1) A flight attendant I know is 26 years old and has been divorced twice. Curious, I asked her, "You're so pretty and in such good shape, why do you always get divorced?" She sighed

1) A flight attendant I know is 26 years old and has been divorced twice. Curious, I asked her, "You're so pretty and in such good shape, why do you always get divorced?" She sighed and replied, "Because of domestic violence." After listening to it, I said very sympathetically: "You are really unlucky, how can you always encounter this kind of scum." The flight attendant said with some embarrassment: "I am angry and start to beat people." ”

2. Working in a multinational company, you often have to deal with difficult customers. Recently, I met a customer from abroad and made me sleep in the company for several days. Today I finally got it done, and I wanted my daughter-in-law to get some good food, so I went home to eat. But the daughter-in-law suddenly called and said in panic: Husband! The sky was a vision, the cat behind the house barked all night, and in the evening, groups of birds flew around, afraid that there was going to be an earthquake, and my girlfriend and I were scared away. I comforted my daughter-in-law: This is all normal, where have you gone? The daughter-in-law had a lingering palpitation: I ran to Tibet and came here, and I took a trip by the way! I:.......

3. In the evening, I asked my sister who had a crush for a long time to go for a walk. Suddenly, masked three gangsters rushed out and asked us to hand over the money. Fortunately, I practiced kung fu and knocked them over with a few punches. When they got back to the dormitory, all three of my friends were lying on the bed humming and saying, "Didn't you say you wouldn't nod your head?" You've been ruthless. ”?

4, pregnant wife is not noisy drinking Starbucks latte, I immediately went out to buy. When I got to the Starbucks store, I asked the waiter, "How much is a latte?" Waiter: "58 yuan!" I asked, "Why is it $46 in London, $35 in Chicago, and $28 in Mumbai?" The waiter calmly replied: "China's house prices are more expensive than foreign countries, cars, gasoline, Internet access, taxes are more expensive than foreign countries, why can't lattes?" At this time, I was dumbfounded, and a group of people in the back urged me: "Buy or not?" If you can't afford it, just roll..."

5, Liangchen and her boyfriend went shopping, and the boyfriend's hand made the glass scratch and bandaged. While walking, a little boy suddenly took his boyfriend's hand and asked, "Uncle, what's wrong with your hand?" Liangchen thought that his boyfriend would say that he had accidentally scratched, but who knew that he said: "I was disobedient and let my mother beat him." The little boy said, "I don't obey either, my mother won't beat me, your mother is a stepmother, right?" ”

6, the sister-in-law is a strong woman, the elder brother lives every day in the water, she raised a golden retriever, fat and cute. One day after work, she came back from work and saw her dog chewing something in its mouth. My sister-in-law yelled: What garbage are you eating? The frightened dog quickly spit out everything he had eaten in his mouth, and when he was finished, he opened his mouth hard to let his sister-in-law see that it was finished. I was really drunk, so powerful, the dogs were so afraid of her, the brother had a hard time!

7, there is a snail powder shop next door, the boss lady looks special, she often goes. Because I like the special chili peppers and vinegar in the store, I will ask the hostess to order peppers and vinegar to pack away every time I go, and then I slowly get acquainted with the hostess. One day I took the freshly washed photo to the store to eat snail powder, and the hostess asked me for a photo, and I gave it. The next day, when I went to dinner again, I found a picture of me on the door and a no entry.

8. During the summer vacation of college, I asked my crush's female classmate to go to the beach. In the sea, my eyes kept on her. She suddenly drowned while swimming, and when I took the opportunity, I gave her artificial respiration, and later she became my wife. Today, sorting through the old items, I found a certificate of honor for my wife, the 2008 City Swimming Championships Champion!! This incident tells us not to play tricks on women.

9. On this day, a female ghost wandered on the Nai River Bridge, and she cried very fiercely: Why? Why is he so cruel! She took a sip and continued to cry: I have his blood in my stomach, why is he still doing that to me, why can't he be merciful to his subordinates? She took a third sip, found that the memory was still there, and sobbed quietly: Is it really okay to kill me? Is his conscience passable? Meng Po: Less nonsense, quickly drink the soup, don't reincarnate as a mosquito in the next life.?

10, last night with a few buddies drinking, dizzy picked up the phone to send the same message to the 66 female friends inside: I love you. Immediately after that, I broke the film, and this morning I woke up drunk and saw that 63 people scolded me for not having a face, one who blacked me out, and a female supervisor of the unit who asked me to go to her office after work to talk about things. Finally, another person transferred 1,000 yuan to me, and when I looked at it, it turned out that she was my mother. "

11. As a scumbag, I am most afraid of exams. Every time it came time for the exam, I looked at a bunch of words I knew but didn't know, and I was very helpless. Idle and idle, I suddenly thought of writing on scratch paper: who opened the word who is stupid, and then wrapped it up layer by layer with paper, and forgot how much I forgot. The invigilator saw it, came over to see that I had finished writing, thought I had passed it on to someone else, and put it away along with the paper. The podium opened layer by layer, and finally his eyes, I will never forget... ?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #