Female colleague rubbed my car off work, on the road and other cars touched a little, female colleagues feel that the time for her performance came, get off the car to scold, scolded the other car owner for half a day, pointed to his car and said:

Female colleague rubbed my car off work, on the road and other cars touched a little, female colleagues feel that the time for her performance came, get off the car to scold, scolded the other car owner for half a day, pointed to his car and said: "Know what I am not a car?" The female colleague turned back and asked, "What is the fork?" "As soon as I heard it, my head was big, this is bumping into a luxury car, just now we patronized in the car naughty to hit, all responsible." The owner of the other car said: "Brother, it is estimated that you do not have enough money, the daughter-in-law stays, you go to raise money." I said no problem, and then I ran away as soon as I stepped on the accelerator, and the next day at work, I deliberately avoided my female colleagues, but she took the initiative to find me and thank you: "Brother, eat my candy next month..." After a pause, she said: "The money for repairing the car is gone, I can decide this!" "Later, I inquired about it, and the other party spent 60,000 yuan to repair the car. You say, for sixty thousand, it is worth it to put in a female colleague?

2. Because of the relationship between the work and the object, I have been trying to lose weight. But at dinner today, my mother actually asked me to eat more meat, and I almost thought I heard it wrong. I carefully asked, "Mom, what did you just say?" My mother repeated, "What's wrong with making you eat more meat?" I was so moved that I was about to cry, and my mother continued: "Fattening, good New Year."" "Me:"

3. The rich second generation who met at home and the game sent a message. The girlfriend suddenly opened the door and broke in, threw the bag the table, and said: Break up and break up. Puzzled, I asked: What's wrong? Girlfriend answer: I was in a month with the boy who was on a blind date, and today my brother took me to the movie for dinner! I listened even more puzzled, and asked doubtfully: Isn't this very good? Girlfriend burst temper up: a good yarn, dinner checkout he said wallet in the car did not take, let me pay the bill first, this is also counted, actually took me to the door of the pharmacy to watch the open-air free movie!

4. I fell in love with a beautiful female colleague of the company at first sight, and my brother had no experience chasing a girl once, so he went to consult a friend. They asked me to rent a Rolls-Royce and drive her around for the night, with a 0 chance of not succeeding. So, I asked out my female colleague according to their suggestion, and she agreed! The effect was not bad, sure enough, as said. Delivered to the door, she said to me before getting out of the car: "Husband, today is our brother day together, you have to remember oh!" ”

5. The daughter of a large family is unmarried and pregnant, and is known to the mother. The mother sent someone to capture her daughter and lectured, "You have forgotten all the family training of the clan sect, give you a chance to tell the man." The daughter shook her head and did not want to say. Mother: "If you don't say it, I'm not welcome, come on, the family law is waiting!" Immediately a strong man came up and shouted: "Big Miss, please listen to the question 58962 + 5576 is equal to how much?" The daughter wondered, "That's the addition!" ”

6. The abbot is still vulgar, bought a Huawei mate30 mobile phone, and made a card. Charge the phone bill, because the card was just done for a long time, the number was misremembered, and 300 yuan was charged into someone else's mobile phone. The abbot thought that he couldn't just count it out, so he sent a text message to the number: "No thanks, I am a monk and I have money!" After about 2 hours, 10010 sent a message: "Recharge successfully 500 yuan!" Then a strange number came another text message: "Big!! Teacher, I'm not short of money, go help others! ”

7. I heard that my brother-in-law got drunk outside with his friends some time ago and went home to beat up his wife. In fact, I think he is mostly pretending... Last night, the brother-in-law came to my house to rub rice, and after three rounds of drinking, this goods shouted at me: Brother-in-law, I look down on you, I dare to beat my wife, do you dare? Men can't be afraid of their wives, and men who are afraid of their wives are not out of breath... I looked at his wife and slowly took a sip of wine: Your sister is my second wife, what about you? Do you dare to find a second wife? What a harmful wine... My brother-in-law and I slept in the car for the night!

8. Just after lunch, I was about to leave work for dinner when I suddenly received a call from my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law said that she had cooked me a meal, took a taxi to bring me over, and waited for me downstairs. I was greatly moved: Mom, big and far away, the taxi fare is enough for me to eat two meals outside. Did you think of me and brought me food? The mother-in-law groaned for a while: Well, I was originally going to make it for your father, but then I found that the rice was cooked a little hard, and then I answered a phone call, and the dish was fried again, and it was a pity to pour it out.

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #