1, in the middle of the night, the landlady asked me to go to her house, no way, I am just an ordinary employee. The leader told me to go. I can't refuse. In the middle of the night, I couldn't get in the car. I rode a bike. Half an hour

1, in the middle of the night, the landlady asked me to go to her house, no way, I am just an ordinary employee. The leader told me to go. I can't refuse. In the middle of the night, I couldn't get in the car. I rode a bike. Half an hour drive, more than 2 hours of riding. By the time I put the car down, I was already a soft-footed shrimp. Now, what can you do? I told you to come over and give you a break? I was tired, scolded, and angrily went into the room, pulled open the quilt, and fell asleep. Then I had a dream. I dreamed of me. married.. Got up in the morning and the landlady had prepared the meal and said that last night was hard and rewarded me. If she had a conscience and rode for two hours, could she not be tired?

2. This year, I passed the Michelin-starred chef, and I also have a kind of return for myself. I was ready to go home for a year off, and at home I had someone design a huge kitchen that cost more than $1 million, but it was also worth it. After I finished it, I called my brother and sister-in-law to come to my house to taste my craft, and the two of them were very happy. Later, the two of them quarreled frequently, and in order to make them calm, I made a big meal and called them to my house, which has recently reached three quarrels a day! You say, are these two mouths addicted to eating the food I made? Am I caught in the trap of them?

3, the brother-in-law dropped out of high school and went to the construction site to move bricks, and did not know what kind of luck he had taken, and went to a beautiful flight attendant as a wife. After work in the evening, I took the Moutai wine I bought from Pinduoduo to find my brother-in-law for a drink. Curious, I asked, "Brother, how did your younger sister fall in love with you?" The brother-in-law said: In fact, I don't know how she looks at me, that year's Valentine's Day, after I moved the bricks, I passed a gold jewelry store, went in to see the liveliness, she bought something inside, I habitually asked, how much is this thing a ton? Then we got married. Well, I get it!

4. After work, I saw a vendor selling bananas on the street. I said, "Boss, weigh me a banana for ten dollars." The peddler weighed: "A total of ten yuan and a half cents." Me: "Ten pieces, often bought here." The peddler gave me a blank look and said, "Big sister, my brother is out of the stall today." I was embarrassed to hear it, and I said in a hurry: "Oh, it turns out that I haven't bought yours before, so don't do it!" After saying that, he turned around and left, leaving the vendor with a disheveled face.

5, at noon today, I went to a gourmet restaurant to eat snail powder, a little brother finished eating and said: The boss checks out! Boss: 260 pieces in total! I wondered if he had eaten a bowl of snail powder? For 260 pieces? Wouldn't it be a black shop? I only brought 20 dollars and panicked. I asked the boss: Can you get credit here? I'll wait and get the money. After saying that, the boss laughed loudly: Little handsome guy you think too much, just now that is the monthly customer!?

6, I remember when I was in college, there was a roommate in the dormitory, he was a standard big fat man, one meter seven in height, weighing one hundred and nineteen. Half a year ago, my roommate swore to a few of us that he was going to lose weight. Today, when a few of our housemates gathered, I found that he not only did not lose, but also became fatter! I wondered and asked him: Weight loss failed? The buddy sighed and said: There is no difference between losing weight or not, but from eating it straight to eating with fear.

7. Today, the company held an annual meeting, and the boss at the banquet directly drank high, and then accidentally announced that he would fire me. The boss also feels guilty after waking up drunk, but in order to maintain his authority, he is ready to make a mistake. But I was not willing, so I used various channels to intercede with the boss. After several twists and turns, I finally handled the reinstatement, I was happy, set up a banquet to thank the boss and colleagues. But unexpectedly, after drinking and eating, the boss who was drunk and had a thick neck announced that he had fired me...

8. I remember that summer, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy clothes, and there was a video game area in the middle of the mall. There's a device inside, and visitors can laugh as soon as they throw a coin into their navel eyes. A handsome guy happily tossed a coin and listened to laughter. At this time, the girlfriend walked up to him and said: Handsome man, you throw it in my pocket, I laugh at you!?

9. My brother has not been married since my sister-in-law died of postpartum depression. That time we were drinking together, I asked him, "Brother, haven't you put it down yet?" There are so many beautiful women in your unit, why haven't you found a girlfriend until now? My brother said coldly, "Rabbits don't eat nest grass!" I said, "At this age, you still don't eat nest grass!" My brother said despondently, "Beauty is the rabbit, I am the grass!" ” ?

10. Yesterday I was playing on the basketball court with a few friends, and suddenly an Apple 11 rang. I turned on the hands-free, and the other person said, "Baby, when will you come home after playing?" I said, "Yes, there's almost one more game to finish!" So the other girl said: "I just looked at a bag to look good, will you take me to buy it when you arrive?" I said, "Okay, I'll wait until I'm done with the ball and come back to take you." After a while, the woman said: "I also looked at a set of skin care products, and commented on the skin well!" I said, "It's okay, we'll buy it if you like it!" After hanging up the phone, the brothers next to him said: "Dude, you are also too spoiled for your girlfriend, right?" "At this time, I looked, I was blindfolded, this is not my mobile phone, we are the same Apple 11 as me?

11. Today, my parents don't know what the reason for the quarrel, I really don't have the courage to speak as your official. At this time, I heard my father say: I don't know why I married you in the first place, I think that there were so many women who were more beautiful than you and gentler than you, and I didn't marry, you erased your conscience, what am I for? Hearing this, I was really puzzled: Is Dad really that sought-after? Just hear mom: They can't look at you! Hearing the mystery revealed, I laughed unkindly, and my father threw me out of the door!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #