1, overtime until late at night, the female colleague said to walk with me, passing a dark hu at the same time, she had to say to go closer. After ten years, she confidently said big words: "Don't be afraid, let go."

1, overtime until late at night, the female colleague said to walk with me, passing a dark hu at the same time, she had to say to go closer. After ten years, she confidently said big words: "Don't be afraid, rest assured, I have learned Sanda, and I will protect you when something happens!" "Just like that, when we turned the corner of the path, we met a handsome man with a kitchen knife and jumped out!" She was very calm, first a scream, followed by a beautiful swivel kick, kicking the kitchen knife in the hand of the handsome man! Then I immediately took out the electric baton in my bag, coronaed her, then picked up the kitchen knife and handed it to the handsome man, and said softly, "I'm sorry, I didn't scare you." "It also scared me, took a few steps back and ran." Such a dark place, what if she hits me? As soon as I ran out of the woods, I realized that my female colleague was gone. The next day, I heard that a woman had an accident in the woods, and I was so frightened that I didn't dare to go to the company, and then I simply resigned. A few days later, a female colleague called me: "Brother, why did you quit?" I was stunned and said, "That night's events have nothing to do with me, I'm just going home!" The female colleague said, "Brother, what do you say?" The boss asked me to call you back, and the company has a lot of things waiting for you? I asked her, "Are you okay?" The female colleague said, "What can I do?" I weakly asked, "Is your boss the one underground?" What position did I go to, and could I be a judge? "Now, if I don't go, I can only bargain and ask for a good position!"

2, the husband came back from a business trip for half a month and wanted to surprise his wife. After opening the door, I found that my wife ran to the bathroom in a panic, and my husband felt strange. He immediately ran to the bedroom to take a look, and was surprised to see that the window was open, and there was a man hiding outside the window, and the husband was mad and pushed the man down the stairs. After the wife came out of the toilet, she stuck her head out of the window and asked her husband: What about the master who installs the air conditioner?

3, a year of business trip, after returning to find that the girlfriend was pregnant, I was furious and slapped the table: "Tell me quickly, who is this child?" The girlfriend said with disdain: "Does it matter who it is, who Jesus' father is, do you know, did not become the founder of Christianity; who is Sun Wukong's father, do you know, did not become a fighting Buddha; Liu Bang's father is a big snake or Liu Taigong You know, people do not still become emperors!" Therefore, it doesn't matter who the son says, as long as there is a job, call your father on the line, you don't take advantage of it and sell it! ”

4, borrowed the brother 100,000 yuan to buy 8 hands Maserati to run with the online love girlfriend, the result of the road car broke down, how can not move. So I had to hit a Porsche 911 with my girlfriend. My girlfriend on the road asked me: How much does the Land Rover in front of me cost? Me: That little tiger, about 2,000,000. The girlfriend continued to ask: What about the red Rolls-Royce? I hesitated for a moment and said, "About 6,000,000." The driver broke out in a cold sweat: So I have to drive for 3 months to afford it!

5. I went on a blind date at a bar, and the woman asked me about my salary. I am honest with you: a monthly salary of 5,000, a year-end bonus of 40,000. The woman asked if there was a house or a car, and I was silent, and the woman immediately scolded me for being a poor ghost and left. Now, a beautiful service trustee of the bar conveyed her admiration, and she felt that I was scolded that day and still maintained a gentlemanly demeanor touched her!?

6. My cousin was the leader of the group in the electronics factory, and he got along with a very beautiful girl in the department. Today was her father's birthday, and she quietly asked her cousin what gifts she had prepared. My cousin said, "Rest assured, it's been cold lately, and I got a generous gift!" On his birthday, my cousin took out a gift, whether it was a thick cotton jacket or a labor protection suit issued by the company. Looking at his girlfriend with a black line, the cousin quietly asked, "What's wrong?" Isn't this gift thick enough? The girlfriend said helplessly: "Thick enough, but I think it's still not as thick as your face!" ”??

7. Wife: Husband, am I gentle? Husband: Gentle! Wife: So am I pretty? Husband: Beautiful! Wife: Do you feel happy? Husband: Does this still need to be said? I am the happiest man in the world! Wife: Then I will be your wife in the next life! Husband: Not good! Wife: Why! Husband: Because I also want to make others happy! The wife backhanded a big mouth: You say it to the old woman again?

8, my mother came to me with 6 bank cards, to teach me to be a girl, I was happy to be broken! Mom said, "Don't all little girls like warm men now!" Me: "Hmm! It seems to be. Mom: "So you must be a warm man!" In this case, there will be many girls who like you. Me: "Hmm! I must be a warm man! The old mother handed me the bank card: "There are more than 80 yuan in total, brother, you first buy a pair of autumn pants to wear!" "Me:"

9, bored at night, on WeChat to shake a girl who works in a textile factory. Looking at the photos looks OK, decisively add friends, we talk very speculatively. Today, I asked her out for dinner. When I got to the restaurant, she told me that she had been a vegetarian since she was a child and didn't stick to any meat. I looked at her in amazement, and she must have seen my doubts and said, "Why do you want to know?" Me: "Yeah, I'm curious, why are you so fat after you're all vegetarian?" ”?

10. When I was watching a movie at home, my little nephew suddenly ran to me. He took a coupon of 50 yuan printed by the hot pot restaurant and put it in my hand. Looking at me asked, "Uncle, can you buy something when you look at this?" I pretended to be serious and said, "Yes! Supermarket downstairs is available. Then he waved his small hand and said, "Then you take it and buy me some snacks, and the rest you buy a pack of cigarettes!" ”

11. The daughter-in-law went on a business trip, chatted with the daughter-in-law on the Internet, and used remote access to help her deal with computer problems, and then did not turn off. I said to my daughter-in-law: Daughter-in-law, I want to buy a PAD to read. So I saw my daughter-in-law typing over there: How much does it cost? Then I deleted it word for word, and the daughter-in-law replaced it with another sentence: [Auto Reply] Hello, I have something to do now, I will contact you later. No more reminders.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #