1, almost off the highway when the car ran out of gas, I said to my wife: "Do you believe it or not, we go to the service area of the exit to refuel, without giving money can go?" Naturally, the wife did not believe it. Add in the service area

1, almost off the highway when the car ran out of gas, I said to my wife: "Do you believe it or not, we go to the service area of the exit to refuel, without giving money can go?" Naturally, the wife did not believe it. After refueling in the service area, I said to the staff: "I didn't bring money, ask your webmaster to come and see what to do?" After a while, a young man came over, and as soon as he saw me, he said helplessly to the staff: "Let him go, that is my old uncle Lai, I will pay for the oil." ”

2. When she was studying in a foreign country, she became pregnant with her boyfriend's child. He rented a house near the school to take care of me for my convenience. He went to the shower last night and a female friend on his phone messaged: What's the matter? I was interested, and I replied: I was thinking about you. The other party said: Really fake? I told the truth to the other party: I sent the message just now, I am his wife. The other party replied in seconds: That's great! I asked strangely: Huh? What's too good? The other party said: While they are not there, let's talk for a while, right? I'm her husband!

3. When I was in junior high school, our Chinese teacher especially loved to praise the female students who scored first in our class. Once after she asked the question the girl slowly raised her hand. The teacher said at that time: Look at people, it is always so positive, no wonder people study well, you look at you again. Just as she was about to say it, the female classmate said weakly: Teacher, I want to go to the toilet.

4, eat with friends who have not seen each other for a long time, see him lose a lot of weight, think he is losing weight. I asked: What, have you been losing weight lately, you seem to have lost a little weight. Friends said: It's okay, it's not weight loss. I sighed: Then it is certainly not easy for you to lose weight! The friend smiled and said: It's okay, it's easy to eat, it's hard to lose weight, so you have to eat it first and then say it, because it's sweet first and then bitter!

5. A man has been keeping a goatee, and suddenly one day he actually shaved his beard. The neighbor was more curious and asked him: How did you shave your beard? He replied: "Because the wife of one of my friends has just died." The neighbor was even stranger, asking: What does the death of your friend's wife have to do with your shaving? He replied coldly: What does my shaving have to do with you?

6, my mother some time ago entrusted someone to introduce me to a partner, eat and chat very pleasantly, chat about the other party likes to play billiards, decided to finish eating and play for a while. In order to show my little femininity, deliberately said that I would not fight, you teach me. The other party heroically began to teach from the basics, and then officially played three rounds, the female man's nature was exposed, three to zero he lost, and he never contacted me again... Destined to be lonely for a lifetime!

7. When I worked in a cotton mill, I had a girlfriend who was three years younger than me. The girlfriend is a typical Lolita, with a cute baby face, and she also talks tauntly. Since my girlfriend married me, every day when I came back from work, the doorman uncle smiled and said, "Girl after school?" And the wife replied shamelessly every time: "Hmm! "Now I'm holding my wife's hand and going out, and the downstairs neighbors are looking at me with strange eyes!?"

8, the tea room I brewed a good tonic (blood gas), often stolen to drink, check can not find out who, the group also said useless... So I secretly added pepper noodles and chili powder into it, trying to catch the stolen drinks, and then I generously went to the workshop and walked around to see it, and sure enough, it was poured out. I went back to the office, wanted to see which one was recruited, actually no one was recruited, very depressed to pick up the cup to drink water, the result was spicy to the sky, the mouth was swollen into a Donald duck, just want to scold who cheated me... At this time, the front desk ran over to me and said: *Sister, just now I saw that the cleaning aunt wants to clean the tea set and pour out your tonic, I will pour you a cup.

9. Last night, I was working overtime in the workshop, and the workshop director sent me a V letter, saying that he had ordered takeaway milk tea for us. Just then the takeaway arrived, and I took the milk tea and drank it while sending the rest to my colleagues. Colleagues thought I bought it, and they all said words of thanks, and I listened to it very well, and against my will, I did not say that the workshop director bought it. When it was sent to Xiao zhi, there was actually no more, and everyone looked at each other. I certainly can't give her what I've drunk in my hand, so I'm ready to buy another drink. Xiao Zhi gave me a blank look: Team Leader, you have an opinion on me! After saying that, I left work with my bag...

10, yesterday to send materials to a university, at noon to eat next to the school, then a female college student pointed to my Coke and asked: Uncle, can you give me that vinegar? I thought to myself, no, I'm not thirty this year, gritted my teeth and said no. After seeing the female college student take it away, I went directly to the bowl and got it up, and I immediately checked out and left. Call you shout uncle! Drink your Coke noodles and go for it! Deserve!

11. When I woke up early in the morning, I saw my husband reprimanding my son. Only to hear my husband say: Still sleeping, you actually have a face to sleep, do not study well to prepare for the college entrance examination, when you sleep, others are working hard, what will you do when you grow up? Moving bricks doesn't want you. I was instantly angry, and when I went up, I slapped it and shouted angrily: What are you in a hurry? The husband said with grievance: I am also good to him. I looked at my son who was drinking milk powder and said: Are you sick, there are more than 6,000 days before the college entrance examination.

12. The brother-in-law of the second generation of young and crazy cut rich people failed the college entrance examination with only 200 points, and completely broke off his thoughts with the university. The neighbor's children went to a prestigious university, while the brother-in-law had to go to work. More than a decade later, the neighbor's mother showed off to her mother-in-law, and his son applied for a project manager with a monthly salary of more than 10,000 yuan. The brother-in-law, on the other hand, was wondering whether he should be hired???

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