1, late at night, a young man and a beautiful woman carpooled a taxi. The destination arrived, the two paid the bill and were about to get off the bus, the beautiful woman suddenly signaled the young man not to get up, and took out 5 yuan and handed it to him

1, late at night, a young man and a beautiful woman carpooled a taxi. The destination arrived, the two paid the bill and were about to get off, the beautiful woman suddenly signaled the young man not to get up, and took out 5 yuan and handed it to the driver, saying: "Master, trouble you take this big brother to run another 5 yuan ride." The young man was stunned and said, "Beauty, I'm going to get off here too!" Beauty pointed to the front and whispered, "On the platform, that person is my boyfriend, you are taller than him, you look more handsome than him, three times in the middle of the night, we both get off at the same time, I am afraid that he will misunderstand, you will pocket 5 yuan of wind!" ”

2. Before my wife married me, she worked as a nun in a nunnery, and her skills were extraordinary. After marriage, I found that my wife was physically strong and had muscles all over her body. Once, I took my wife to climb a mountain and met a wild bear. Frightened, I hurriedly pulled my wife to lie down and pretend to die, otherwise I would definitely be slapped to death by the bear. Unexpectedly, after the bear took a look at his wife, he directly lay on the ground, and his wife carried me away. I can't forget the sympathetic look in The Bear's eyes now..."

3, today is my wife's birthday, I gave my wife a mobile phone case. As a result, she scolded me and rushed out without cooking. After a while, the wife returned, put a hamburger bag on the table, and entered the room with a straight face. My heart suddenly softened, and it hurt a little, where to find such a good wife! Guiltily, I put my hand into the bag and caught a sea urchin!

4, my mother called: there is an urgent matter at home, come back soon. I hurried home in a hurry, but I saw a hot conversation between my mother and a beautiful woman dressed in good clothes and light makeup. My mother pulled me aside: This girl looks beautiful and has a good brain, just now I asked if she has a boyfriend, what do you think? Cough, mother, this girl is quite good, but people are selling insurance, not themselves, you think too much about it.

5, a man followed a big sister into the house robbery, the big sister often calmly told the robbers, there are cameras at home husband can see, brother you have to have difficulties to be a sister to help you. So Alipay transferred six thousand and five to the robbers. The eldest sister finally said that if you have this money, you will pay it back, and if you don't, it will help you. Soon this man was detained... "

6, this day the abbot went down the mountain to purchase supplies, catch up with the supermarket discount, there are many people in line. After waiting for more than an hour, it was finally the abbot's turn, and the cashier brushed for half a day but a bag of flour could not be painted. Then he said, "I can't brush it, you can buy it next time." The abbot was anxious at that time: "No, I am in line for half a day, you brush it a few times." Then the cashier asked the abbot where he got the flour, and she went to check the price. After a while she came back and said, "We don't have this flour in the supermarket, you brought the flour from our bakery." ”

7, the wife is a fatter kind, but fortunately the fat is more symmetrical. Today, na beautifully said: "Alas, if I can cross to the Tang Dynasty, I will definitely be a noble concubine when I get there, and then I will be dressed and eaten, and a large group of people will serve." After saying that, I gave him a blank look: "Dream of you, as far as your weight is concerned, can the crossing function be moved?" ”?

8, today the boss gave me a holiday, I drove my Pagani to take my son to Wanda Plaza. It happened to be a toy area when I first went upstairs, and my son was crying to buy a remote control plane. I took the toy and looked at the instructions and said: You see it all says that 4-6 year old children can play, you can't play when you are 5 years old. After hearing this, the son very reluctantly put the toy back...

9. When my cousin bought an Audi A6 to run Didi at night, my younger sister brought him a red apple. In the evening, near a factory, I received a woman's order. While driving, my cousin picked up the apple and just took a bite, only to hear the woman behind him say: I also loved to eat apples when I was alive. The cousin hurriedly braked and asked: Who are you? The female passenger said slowly: I loved to eat apples before giving birth, but I didn't like to eat them after giving birth.

10, married people know that there are more trifles in the family. When I came home from work to calculate my expenses, my wife sat across from me again and nagged. One moment said that this month's electricity bill is more, the next moment said that this month's water bill is excessive, and the next moment said that the whole family must save all kinds of costs. Finally finished nagging, did not forget to push me, reminded: I heard no, I just said so much. My wife pushed hard, and I pressed the wrong calculator key at once, only to hear a voice say: Equal to zero. The angry wife glared at me, and the son who was doing his homework on the side had already smiled and bent over.

11, my wife is a road killer, there are often some bumps, but recently there was a big car accident. My wife hit a Bugatti in a Porsche. Probably the throttle was used as a brake, until it hit the Rolls-Royce on the side of the road before stopping. At this time, the Rolls-Royce driver came down and asked: Big sister, do we have a vendetta? The eldest sister said in a particular panic: No! I forgot to brake when I was nervous! The driver said leisurely: I thought you were going to kill me!"

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #