Behind the child's mouth, there may be a pain that you don't know.
The next time he resists, don't be in a hurry to get angry, look at the problem from these perspectives, and the child will thank you.
I don't know if parents have this feeling, that is, the children are getting bigger and bigger, and they are becoming more and more difficult to manage.
Especially when the child has a back-up situation, the adult says that the child top ten sentences, the child at this time will really be "angry to death".
In fact, sometimes, the child's rebuttal is not that the child is disobedient, too rebellious, or too naughty, and the root of the problem may lie in the parents' actions.
A child named Miao Miao has always been in the top five in the class, and in order to make him test better, dad encouraged the child:
If you can get the first place, you will take you to Disney for two days.
For the sake of this agreement, Miao Miao's review was more energetic, and she got up every day before dawn to review, and slept late at night.
In the end, under Miao Miao's hard work, he really won the first place, and he took the report card to his father to fulfill his promise.
As a result, Miao Miao's father changed his mouth and said that this time there was no time, and he would go again next time to take the first place.
Miao Miao was very angry on the spot, and angrily shouted to her father:
"What's the matter with you adults, are you so untrustworthy?" Speaking of not doing it, how can I believe you in the future, I hate you. ”
It is also normal for children to grow up talking back.
When children and parents talk back, the consistent style of parents is to choose to ignore directly, or directly start playing, never thinking about why the child is in this situation.
1. Parents do not believe what they say
Being untrustworthy is a mistake that many parents make, thinking that children are children in the eyes of adults, and a little confusion will pass.
Children can reluctantly use this method when they are young, but when children have their own ideas, they will begin to doubt their parents' style of doing things.
If you often say nothing in front of your child, then the child will slowly lose trust in his parents, and will also give advice to his parents, and even disobey discipline.
2. Feel wronged in your heart
Many children are very sensible, and under normal circumstances, there will be no disobedience, unless they have really suffered a lot of grievances.
For example, children have their own good intentions to help adults do housework, but accidentally knocked over things and are blamed by parents, at this time, most parents will criticize children for making trouble.
In this case, the child will definitely be wronged, I am helping my mother to do things, I did not expect my mother to say this about myself, and it is not surprising that there will be a situation of back talking in the future.
3. Parents have no authority in front of their children
In general, many of us are "double standard parents", especially in the aspect of educating children.
For example, some parents will say to their children that you must study hard, get into a good university, change your destiny, or you don't want to be like your father, you have to learn the piano, learn the electronic keyboard...
If in some things, if parents can't lead by example, then it is difficult for children to surpass.
After reading the above points, parents will also find that the various behaviors of parents will have an impact on their children, and even affect their personality development.
"Although you are very angry now, you still have to wait until you calm down and talk about it."
When children and parents talk back, the first reaction of parents is anger, and it is difficult to calm down and face the child's loss of control.
If the parents are in this state, then the child will become more and more out of control with the parents' angry emotions.
Parents should keep a normal mind, face it calmly, tell their children that this is not right, and wait for the child to calm down and talk about it.
When both sides are calm, the brain is also the most rational moment, and it will be smoother to communicate the problem at this time.
"I know you're not happy, but you shouldn't say that"
No matter who it is, in the case of emotional anger, it will be difficult to control their behavior, and even say or do hurtful things.
Some children will say things like "I hate you" and "hate you", and such expressions often hurt parents.
It is not right for parents to tell their children that this expression is hurtful.
Tell your child how to vent his emotions, but also teach your child which behaviors are not advisable, in case your child develops the habit of exporting hurt people in the future.
"What do you want to do?" Let's discuss it."
A large reason why children resist is that the behavior of their parents makes children feel uncomfortable inside, and even think that their parents do not respect themselves, so they use this rogue way to show resistance.
In fact, when encountering the situation of children, parents can appropriately coax children to increase the opportunity for children to choose things to divert children's attention.
In this way, when the child thinks about this matter, he will not make trouble again.
As children grow up, their sense of autonomy grows stronger and stronger.
As a parent on the way to educating their children to remember these three sentences, children will not only appreciate you when they grow up, but also be more productive.