If your child doesn't stop talking nonsense, sees who is naturally familiar, and likes to be funny, don't suppress him.
Such "social cow fever" children often have their own personality advantages.
Author | Miao Miao Mom
On weekends, I took my son to buy sugar-fried chestnuts.
Because it just happened to be just in time for the last pot to sell out, it took another 15 minutes.
I hesitated, but my son dragged me to the back of the waiting line.
There are a lot of people, it's very cold, I'm afraid he's bored, and he's still racking his brains to think of interactive parent-child games.
As soon as he looked up, his son had jumped into the crowd in front of him:
"Sister, have you eaten their fried chestnuts?" It's delicious...."
"Grandma, you often come to buy it, then your family is really happy, my mother only let me eat once for a long time..."
"Uncle you see, this is my Otter card, is not very handsome, this set is so rare ..."
......
The wind was so strong, the lights were bright, and the old mother was so panicked.
So, in the long queue time, I watched my son jump from this end of the crowd to that end, from young brothers and sisters, to kind grandparents, from sugar fried chestnuts, to parents short...
I almost gave the ID number to the person backwards and reported it several times.
When we were finally in line, the boss gave us another bag of chestnuts, which I quickly refused, but I did not expect the boss to wave a big hand:
"Put it away! This is my meet and greet gift to my little brother! ”
The son took it from the good and hugged the boss: "Thank you big brother for your love!" ”
Good fellow, how long has it been since you've all finished worshipping?
After this battle, I feel that my son has more or less a billion points of "social cow fever" in his body.
Social, as the name suggests, is not timid when it comes to social interaction.
Be able to face strangers without shyness, no matter what the environment can communicate with ease, not afraid of other people's eyes, not worried about being ridiculed, bravely move forward, and do what ordinary people "have no face" to do without changing their faces.
For example, this little boy, putting on new shoes on the street, must show off!
Whether you encounter men, women, children, or acquaintances, you must lift your little feet:
"Look at my new shoes, pretty?"
For example, this little brother, who collectively went on stage to receive the award, can be different from others.
Holding the trophy high and shaking is no longer enough to express happiness, only the whole body can show happiness!
Their happiness, regardless of time, place and space:
"As long as you use your heart, everywhere is the stage!"
Their passion, regardless of the depth of the relationship:
“Hey , boy! Come here !”
Where they live, it's as if society is my home, and everyone is my parents.
Whoever you are, I'm not familiar with it!
Cute? Naïve? Messy?
As an old mother of a child with social, I laughed and cried.
What is it like to have social in your own child?
Probably the same feeling for the mother Liu Mei in "Family with Children".
Because her son Liu Xing is simply the originator of "social bulldogy".
Let him introduce himself, and he can see a person and gag a joke.
See the beauty: "My name is Liu Xing, Andy Lau's Liu, Zhou Xingchi's star, you can call me Xingye ~"
See classmates: "Don't call me Liu Xing, I'm calling it Now, Sherlock Holmes!" ”
Seeing the stranger, the sister said, "My name is Xia Xue." ”
The younger brother said, "My name is Xia Yu." ”
Liu Xing said, "I called down Hail." ”
Let him persuade his sister not to form a band on a whimsical basis, he not only did not persuade, but also put on a wig hat to accompany his sister to "go crazy".
His sister fell in love with the "wild boy" in adolescence, and he also wanted to "dye his hair green" and meet his own "savage girl".
In this regard, Liu Mei said:
"I don't know if there's a savage girlfriend, but you're bound to have a savage and wild mother!"
When I was young, I watched "Family with Children", and in addition to laughing, I also felt that Liu Mei was really a grumpy mother.
I don't understand my son's humor cells, I often suppress my son's enthusiasm, and I always pour cold water on my son when he is happy...
Now that she has become an old mother, she has found that Liu Mei's reaction is really real!
In a bad word, the child of social, known as social master, is too thick-skinned to put it bluntly:
Good to talk about, not to listen, you have to fight!
I remember that before the "double subtraction", I sent my son to the tutoring class where their class xueba was also there.
The tutoring class was very effective, and after a semester, both children improved.
It's just that the student has improved in the grades, and my son has improved in the network.
Before attending the tutoring class, his friendship range was limited to the same school students, and after the tutoring class, his "brothers" have spread to all primary schools in the city.
How do I know this?
Oh, halfway through the semester, my son's homeroom teacher found that almost all the students in the class were circling my son during several consecutive recesses.
There were also several children who followed him wherever he went, and even after school, there were children at the school gate who came up to him to change things.
The teacher was curious for a moment, and when he looked up, he found that my son was auctioning "Notes on The Master".
He took xueba's class notes home and made dozens of copies, and "peddled" them at school and in tutoring classes.
With the fruits of Xueba's labor, he exchanged them for a lot of messy things such as erasers, fountain pens, Otter cards, etc., and then divided them equally with Xueba.
I was speechless for a while, holding the last glimmer of hope and asking my son: "Did you read the notes of the scholar?" ”
He waved his hand widely, his face full of pride: "No need to look! I believe in xxx (school bully) level! “
After hearing this, I couldn't bear it anymore, grabbed the feather duster and threw it on the table, bursting:
"Are you going to learn or play?"
It is said that difficulty is like a spring, you are weak and it is strong.
But I think the thickness of my son's skin is already comparable to the city wall, and whether you are strong or weak will not affect his madness.
Last week's parent-teacher meeting, after the end of the meeting, I went to the teacher to understand the situation, and I couldn't help but complain again:
"I'm sorry teacher, I feel like my son has now let go of himself and can't hold back.
Let him not talk to strangers casually, but he can still say hello and chat with people wherever he goes;
Let him not disturb people casually, and the result is often that others are resting and he also goes to people;
Let him make friends to have a sense of proportion, he poured well, every time he went to someone else's house, he would stick glue on his feet and die and not leave...
His social skills are good, but what is the use?
It's better than everyone hates him, if I can evenly give half of the enthusiasm to learn, I'm thankful! ”
The teacher smiled slightly and handed me a pile of composition paper:
"Miao Miao's mother, this is the small practice pen of our class before, you can see, there are surprises in it."
Curiously, I took over, and the title of the essay was "My Good Friend."
Turning the page, almost every article has my son's name written on it:
"My best friend is Miao Miao because he is always willing to help me. Before I broke my foot, he helped me back to the class and helped me on duty. ”
"I like Miao Miao a lot because he's the 'pistachio' in our class, and whenever I'm sad, he always tells jokes to make me laugh."
"Miao Miao is my brother, we play ball together after class, go home together after school, he is brave, morality, we want to be good brothers for a lifetime."
Looking at it, my eyes were moist.
It turned out that the "silly boy" who had a passion in my eyes was a good friend who "set many advantages in one" in the eyes of my classmates.
The teacher paused and said to me:
"Miao Miao's mother, the criterion for judging a child's excellence is not only to learn whether it is good or bad, but also to look at his own characteristics.
Miao Miao is not focused enough when he studies, but it does not mean that he does not love to learn. No matter what question he asks in class, whether he is sure or not, he will be the first to raise his hand to answer;
The school's various competitions, he also actively signed up, although he did not get any ranking, but the courage to try, is his most valuable quality;
He will not be afraid of the stage for the first time, he will not be shy when he talks to strangers for the first time, no matter what kind of occasion, as long as he is there, he will not be cold...
Learning ability and habits can be cultivated, but such a precious innate character cannot be buried with suppression and depreciation!"
After listening to the teacher's words and looking at the composition in my hand, I finally woke up:
The social that children have is not an explosive that challenges the nerves of parents, but a gift from God.
The headache in our eyes, the problematic personality, from another point of view, may be the most shining feature of the child.
Children with social are often not sensitive enough to the cold faces of others and their own mistakes.
But because of this, they can use a "dull" mentality to meet the difficulties that come, ignore the negative emotions that affect themselves, bravely and fearlessly rush forward, and become the most eye-catching one among all sentient beings.
Xia Donghai said:
"Liu Xing has a particularly big advantage, his conduct comments are excellent among his classmates, how rare it is!"
Yes, being able to respond to a hundred responses among peers, being able to face unfamiliar environments without being afraid of the stage, being able to bottom out when it fails...
Children with social, how rare!
Looking back, in fact, in the thorny adult world, we will more or less envy the people around us who have social.
I remember when I was in college, there was a bully in my class who was at the top of the exam.
But he rarely got a scholarship.
Because he never participates in social practice, nor is he willing to participate in academic competitions to be displayed on stage, he is either staying in the library or soaking in the study room on weekdays, with deep social fear, resulting in a mediocre comprehensive score.
With the help of the teacher, he participated in the mathematical modeling competition that only required three people to cooperate, he buried his head in hard work, almost one person took over the work of the entire group, and the paper he wrote broke into the top three of the preliminary round.
But when it was time to reply to the retest, he was afraid of the stage again, and gave up the honor of captain to another teammate, and he worked hard to make someone else's wedding dress.
Without the blessing of practical achievements, his application for research was also rejected.
The remaining three months of desperately taking the graduate school, taking the third place in the initial examination, but bent over the interview link of the re-examination.
He made a mistake and did not dare to find a mentor, and in the end he did not even get the adjustment as he wished.
On the day of the graduation party, he drank wine and cried:
"Why don't I dare?" Why do I always think I have no face?
Why did I work so hard for so long and end up with nothing? ”
He is undoubtedly excellent, but he cares too much about face, is too afraid to express himself, and always escapes in the face of difficulties, and can only miss the beautiful opportunity again and again.
As the writer Randy wrote:
"You're not better than anyone, you don't have to be worse than anyone, you're just too thin-skinned."
Former Pacific President Yan Jiehe once said:
"What is a face?
We who do big things never want faces, and the skin can be torn off and thrown to the ground, kicked a few feet, and gone away, dismissive. ”
In life, those who can put down their bodies, lose face and do things, and always dare to move forward are often the most powerful.
On the contrary, those who are concerned about the eyes and opinions of others, look ahead and look backwards, and shrink their hands and feet often cannot go far.
As parents, what we should probably do more is to let children have the courage to actively express themselves and express themselves.
After all, "the aroma of wine is also afraid of the deep alley", the beauty of the fig leaf, no one can appreciate.
The Power of Mental Resilience says:
"All the qualities in mentally resilient people are that they have the confidence and hope to deal with any situation, and they are not blindly optimistic, but they know that they have the resources to turn the tide of danger."
Children with social are undoubtedly psychologically resilient.
He doesn't care what other people think, and he can be enthusiastic and give his all in the face of anything.
He is brave enough to try, proactive and not afraid of difficulties.
He can tolerate his own failures, but also to resolve his own negative emotions, and each victory can bring him more confidence and motivate him to continue to improve.
If you want your child to be accepted and recognized by others, you must cultivate their courage to dare to show themselves.
And social is undoubtedly a hard armor, which can allow children to resist the negative energy of the outside world while also restoring the confidence to come back.
With love as the center, encouragement and support as the radius, and discovering the child's strengths as an aid, we can help the child to depict a happier and more complete life.