Children with social are raised in this way, and parents must do these 3 things
Ask parents to think in their heads about what is the most difficult thing about raising a child, my first thought is communication.
Children are unreasonable a lot of the time, and when they face criticism, they are often crying.
Children who are immersed in their own world, in the face of advice or urging, are treated as air, and do not enter the brain at all.
These behaviors of children make parents helpless, and it can even be said that they want to cry without tears.
In fact, there are actually reasons for these behaviors that children show.
Because children do not reach a certain age, their own expression ability is not well mastered, they will not use words to express themselves.
But he is not willing to hide his inner feelings, so he will express his thoughts through various seemingly bad behaviors.
In fact, these are the growth trajectories of normal children, but some children have expression disorders because of the relationship between the family environment.
If the child grows up in a family that does not know how to communicate, it is difficult for the child's future to know how to express himself, and it is not clear what feelings should be said.
So give the child a little more time, let the child slowly say his own ideas, only the child has the right to speak, so that he will not be eager to express it with behavior.
Many times the performance of bear children is inseparable from parents.
Parents should usually communicate more with their children, do not take the needs of their children seriously, but should pay attention to the child's heart and treat the child as a friend.
This kind of communication is actually very meaningful, because the child can feel the care from the parents, and the communication with the parents can also exercise the child's expression ability.
After a long period of exercise, the child will definitely grow.
Not only is the ability to process emotions more mature, but it is also better able to express one's thoughts.
Let's take a small example:
When a friend brings a child to the house, the child plays with the child, but in order to take care of the other children, you give him the toy, and the child will often have two performances.
The child who knows how to express himself behaves very rationally and knows how to tell you bluntly why this toy does not want him to play.
At this time, parents can make corresponding adjustments in time according to the child's words, so that the feelings of both children can be taken care of.
But children who don't know how to tell their mother the reason will generally have black faces or cry on their own, and the more fierce children will even do it.
At this time, parents who see this scene are generally unclear, and even feel that their children are stingy.
The result is that the toys cause the destruction of feelings, and both parties misunderstand each other.
In order to avoid such a scene, how should children be taught?
01
Give your children equal status
I know that no parent will put their child on a lower level, on the contrary, many situations are when parents feel inferior to their children, but I would say that this situation is not right.
Many times parents spoil their children to heaven, but ignore their children's real feelings, or even inappropriate.
In the face of their children's thoughts, parents will say that I am so satisfied with you, what else do you want.
But in fact, such parents do not give their children an equal opportunity to get along.
When they are truly equal with their children, parents can discover their children's emotions and thoughts.
Don't just allow adults to have the right to express and have emotions, every adult is a grown child.
Parents can pay attention to their children, but not too much attention to their children's materials, but should pay attention to the child's spiritual world.
Accept the child's expression, sometimes it is not unreasonable to think carefully about what the child says, and even the child lives more transparently than the adult.
Therefore, when the child has emotional problems, the child should be encouraged to speak out boldly and give the child a solution.
In this way, as the child continues to grow, he will be more courageous to express himself in the future, and he will be brave enough to speak out when he sees unfair things.
Parents can also learn from the following examples:
Imagine that this is a scene of eating, when you eat a child with a vegetable, the child suddenly starts crying.
At this time, what you should do is not to scold, but to ask the child if he does not like it, and tell the child that he should say what he thinks.
That way your mom will know what you're thinking and won't behave like this again next time.
Because when the child does not express it, the parents do not know the real idea of the child.
Therefore, this kind of treatment can make children know how to express it.
02
Parents must not be emotional when talking to their children
Observing a lot of family relationship patterns, sometimes I feel that children will be more mature.
Because parents are more emotional in the face of their children, there are actually many factors that lead to it, so let's not explore it.
Usually has been on the variety show cloud raising baby, when seeing Na En, can't help but feel her again and again as a "fairy daughter".
When Faced with the mistakes she has made, Nane rarely has too much emotion, and at the age of four, she actually does not understand anything, but Nane does not choose to use crying to avoid responsibility.
On the contrary, she dared to take responsibility for the results caused, and very soberly remedied the consequences, such a child who did not envy it.
Nan's character is actually inseparable from the credit of her parents.
From the video about Na'en's mother, the atmosphere of the whole family can be analyzed.
Their family adopts an educational model that expresses feelings, so Na'en is not too panicked in this situation, but knows how to ask adults for help.
Parents treat their children as adults, and such children's ability to control emotions is better than others.
When Nane's father learns why Nane cooks for his brother, he will sincerely thank Nane.
I believe that children who grow up in such an educational model will not be bad.
03
Please stop taking control of your child
Parents should be well aware that the child is not their own item, and there should be no strong desire to control the child just because the mother gives life.
I understand that parents are careful about their children's future, but this is not the reason for children to follow their own path.
Because children should have their own lives, not the life that parents want to live.
Many times the reason for children's rebellion is because the parents are too strong, and the children are not willing to follow the track laid by the parents.
Parents should let their children be independent and turn control over their children into support for every decision they make.
Let the child bravely break through, break out of their own world, and let the child know that even if he fails, there will be parents behind him who love him.
Parents should reduce the protection of their children, sometimes trust the children a little more, the children are really more capable than we think.
It is hoped that all children can grow up healthy in a democratic environment.