1, my wife went abroad, there are only two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 48 years old, still looks charming, or the financial director of a company, there are many single men are admired

1, my wife went abroad, there are two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 48 years old, looks still charming, is still the financial director of a company, there are many single men who love my mother-in-law and want to pursue her. One day the chairman of our company came up to me and said she was divorced and asked me when I was going to get divorced and she was going to marry me. I cried and laughed and said, my wife and I have a very good relationship, why should I get a divorce? The chairman sighed and said, I know you can't look at me, then I will bury this love in my heart, this burial is so many years! I asked the chairman, is her husband the chairman of another company? In fact, my mother-in-law was the financial director of your ex-husband's company, and since you have divorced him, I think he and my mother-in-law are a good match. The chairman nodded thoughtfully and smiled, this is very good, I do have guilt for my husband, if he can be with your mother-in-law, then I will be at ease.??

2. This evening, I ate barbecue with the old irons at the stall. I was very excited to see the three college students at the table next to me talking about ideals, talking about the future, and talking with flying eyebrows. Kindly I stepped forward to remind: Students, from the moment you step into the society, you will find that what you are talking about now is a fart, don't ask why, explain that you can't understand! After saying that, I picked up my mobile phone and said to the screen: Old irons, if you think I am right, the small gifts are brushed up...

3. For my dream, I came to Beijing with a guitar on my back to do a North Drifter. I met my girlfriend while working at a bar and she was fascinated by my singing voice. As a result, her rich mother-in-law knew about it, so the future mother-in-law asked me to meet in Quanjude. After the meeting, she handed me a check directly: "It's 1 million, break up with my daughter." After I received the check, I immediately called my girlfriend: "Let's break up, I don't love you anymore." My girlfriend cried and asked me, "Don't you have tens of millions of assets?" Why would you want to break up with me because of 1 million. I replied coldly, "How do you think my tens of millions came from?" ”

4, passing by the big pharmacy free physical examination, I let my son physical examination, the results are: lead exceeding the standard, zinc deficiency, calcium deficiency, lack of ... Then the pharmacy salesman recommended a whole bunch of medicines. Then I said, can you see what I'm missing? She looked at me and said, "Big brother, you won't be short of money, will you?" I said, "Sister, you're so smart."?

5. There is a young man who is very short, one meter six tall, so he has never had a girlfriend. One day the youth met a master on the street. The young man walked over to the master and asked: Master, why can't I find a girlfriend? The master smiled slightly and asked, "Do you know which mountain is the highest mountain in the world?" Youth Answer: Mount Everest! The master then asked: Do you know which mountain in the world is the shortest mountain? The youth shook his head: I don't know. The male classmate suddenly realized: Are you saying that I can only be accepted by everyone if I do the best? The master waved his hand: long so short, who will notice you.

6. When my wife was working overtime in the company, I secretly had a private meeting with female colleagues, but I did not expect my wife to return. In front of the neighbor, I hit and scolded, and a lot of blood appeared on my face. I broke through the door in a fit of rage to find my buddies to drink and relieve my boredom. Dude: What do the two of you do, the window head quarrels and the window tail and go back to say something nice, and then say what are you afraid of, you still can't beat her? I snorted and took a sip of wine and shouted: If it weren't for the fact that I couldn't beat her, I could still escape here!

7. In the middle of the night, the company worked overtime in the toilet to find the secret of the president and the female assistant, and afterwards the president gave me 5 million as a sealing fee. I quit my job as soon as I got the money and ate, drank and had fun at home. I gained 50 pounds in half a year, and in order to lose weight, I didn't eat dinner and almost got anorexia. The old mother said in pain: Girl, there is no need to lose weight so desperately, fat girl Wangfu! Now, every time I eat, my mother yells in my ear: Can you give me some moderation! Although I told you that I was fat at that time, can you find my husband and eat it again?

8, buddy sold the Asian dragon that had been open for 3 years for 180,000 yuan. He was particularly pleased and invited me to an upscale restaurant for a drink of Moutai wine. In the end I was a little drunk, went home and knocked on the door, just didn't open. It seems that my wife was angry, and at that time, she also drank some wine and directly knocked on the door. With a "bang", I crashed straight in! Big brother, you listen to me explain me, I really live upstairs, it is indeed the wrong door!

9, the sister-in-law because of her beautiful looks, there are many rich second generation in the school crazy chasing her, the mother-in-law knows that after fear of affecting her studies, she transferred her to a private school. When I first arrived at the new school, my sister-in-law fell in love with a boy in her class. On Valentine's Day, in class, he sat behind his sister-in-law, and during the class he patted her on the shoulder: Finally waiting for this moment, can you promise me one thing? The sister-in-law was very excited, looking forward to his next confession, and nodded her head. The boy looked around for a moment, lowered his voice and whispered: If the teacher comes to tell me, I'm going to sleep, thank you.

10. The brother-in-law who graduated from 211 university fell into a bar DJ, and it wasn't long before he became involved with a beautiful bartender. Later, the sister left her job, and the brother-in-law was busy with work and the two broke up. Today, the brother-in-law suddenly thought of her, and sent a message: I have thought about it for a long time, or I can't forget you, are we reconciled? The brother-in-law saw that she had not replied to the message for half a day, thought she agreed, and asked: What are you doing? Soon the sister replied: Confinement...

11. In order to realize his dream, Xiao Li disregarded the obstruction of his family to learn crosstalk. He wanted to worship a brother in the cross-talk industry, Brother, as a teacher, so he probed the mouth of Brother through his agent. Agent: "Brother Anus, there is a young man named Xiao Li, the foundation of crosstalk is very good, I want to worship you as a teacher, what do you think?" Brother Anus: "How's it going?" Agent: "Tall, handsome, sunny!" brother: Don't! "Agent:" ..."

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