1. A boss said: Whoever dares to jump into the crocodile pool and come ashore alive will be rewarded with 1 million. Dead to 5 million. No one dared to jump. Suddenly, there was a "thud" and a person jumped into the pool

1. A boss said: Whoever dares to jump into the crocodile pool and come ashore alive will be rewarded with 1 million. Dead to 5 million. No one dared to jump. Suddenly, there was a "thud" sound, and a person jumped into the pool. Only to see him being chased by crocodiles swimming fast, pale, desperately swimming on the other side, after taking 1 million, he was furious: Who pushed Lao Tzu down? His wife smiled and said, "It's me." So then there was the phrase "Behind every successful man, there is a good woman". At the critical moment, I can push you

2 The old man is an associate professor at a 985 university with a monthly salary of 65,000 yuan.

The results of that exam came out, and the whole class failed.

The old man was particularly angry and shouted on the podium: "The judgment question is 50 points, but some people only score 10 points, 20 points?" I only took 10 to 20 points and stood up for me and copied the roll ten times! ”

At this time, a classmate sighed: "It's too dangerous, I am 21 points." ”

Then, the next brother also sighed quietly: "My riskier, fortunately only 9 points." ”

3. The father-in-law saw his mother-in-law and a man enter the hotel, waited for half an hour and kicked in the door. The mother-in-law was frightened, and the father-in-law yelled at her: "We are finished, divorced, you can't get a penny." Then the father-in-law took a picture and left the hotel, and the next day the two went through divorce procedures. That night, I heard my father-in-law call a man: "Xiao Wu, you did a good job with this, 300,000 have been transferred to you..."

4. This weekend, Ma Qing had nothing to do at home in the summer, and she was a little sleepy after watching TV. Ma Qing went to the window to sleep, and her husband said: Wife, you can sleep in peace!!! I'll catch mosquitoes for you!!! Ma Qing fell asleep... Just after falling asleep, I heard a loud laugh and opened my eyes to see that it was my husband. My husband couldn't help but laugh: I chased the mosquitoes a few times, and suddenly felt like a pork seller.

5. Xiao Liu's addiction is very large, and he has to smoke two boxes of cigars a day.

Later, he got lung cancer, and his daughter-in-law asked him to go to the hospital for a physical examination.

Xiao Liu came back after seeing the doctor and said: "The doctor suggested that I quit smoking with my finger cake icon." ”

His daughter-in-law stepped forward and asked, "How?" Does it work? ”

Xiao Liu shook his head and said, "I tried it, and the finger cake icon couldn't light it at all!" ”

6. The college entrance examination did not do well, and you can only go to the college! One night I was talking to my results roommate about my childhood dreams! A younger roommate said: "Once I wanted to be a pianist, but there was no piano. The second roommate said: I once wanted to be a singer, but unfortunately I didn't have a good voice! I said calmly: I used to want to be a scientist, but I didn't have a brain.

7. My girlfriend used to be my manager, she gave me a Cartier watch, I agreed to be with her, and after we were together she asked me to quit smoking, or she would break up with me. I felt very ridiculous, so I lit a cigarette and smoked it in front of her: "You see, I can't live without the cigarette, I am still as dashing as I am without you, you will light me." The girlfriend got angry and said, "That's what you said." I nodded, and the girls who said this to me went, which time it was not the last time to compromise with me. As a result, I was expelled the next day, and now I don't even have the money to buy cigarettes, and I really can't live anymore.

8. Friend: The doctor said to eat more bananas when pregnant, but my grandmother said that bananas are easy to slip tires and cannot be eaten. Me: The old man is right, my daughter-in-law did not listen to persuasion and ate a lot of bananas when she was pregnant. Friend: Did you have a miscarriage? Me: No, my son was born in good health, we all thought it was all right, I didn't think it was when he was 5 years old... My friend interrupted me: Seriously ill? Me: I accidentally stepped on a banana peel one day and slipped.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #