1, upstairs lived a widow, looking beautiful, three years older than me. One day my relatives in the countryside sent two native chickens over, and I thought I couldn't finish eating alone, so I went upstairs and knocked on the door.

1, upstairs lived a widow, looking beautiful, three years older than me. One day my relatives in the countryside sent two native chickens over, and I thought I couldn't finish eating alone, so I went upstairs and knocked on the door. Widow Zhang Li saw that it was me, smiled and said, come in and sit down, have a cup of tea? I shook my head and said, I won't go in and sit down today, I'm here to invite you to my house for dinner. She said in surprise, how can I remember to invite me to dinner? Is there something asking me? I sighed and said, You know I've been single for many years, and since my divorce, I've been alone and lonely, and I want to invite you to dinner today. Eating chicken, drinking chicken soup, drinking white wine, both of her and I were red in the face, our eyes were intoxicated, and we were already drunk for a long time. I couldn't help but hold her hands, she shyly lowered her head, her face was even redder, someone knocked on the door, opened the door to see, is the door of the widow Li Xia, she smiled and said to me: Yesterday I bought the lottery ticket actually won more than twenty million. You promised me that as long as I have five million, you will marry me, and now you can't deny it, can you? Li Xia looked at zhang li and zhang li with a flushed face and snorted, I already knew that you two must have an inside story, and now it is indeed exposed. Alas, forget it, this stinky man is given to you, and as a gift, I will give you five million! I was overjoyed, smiled and said to Li Xia, that is really thank you. Zhang Li also smiled happily, put her arms around Li Xia and said, You are my good sister, and we will be a family in the future. Zhang Li and I finally got married, bought a villa with the five million that Li Xia gave, and then moved in. Li Xia also joined in the fun and moved into the villa to be neighbors with us. The three of us are together every day, but it is lively and happy, and such a day is really beautiful.

2. I have been married to my wife for almost seven years, and my life is getting more and more plain. Tonight my wife suddenly said to me: Husband, can I ask you a question? I bowed my head: You say. Wife: When you first got married, you took my hand to sleep every day, why don't you pull it now? I snuffed out the cigarette butt in my hand and said: That's because when you first got married, the bride price you were given was 500,000 yuan, and I was afraid that you would run away when I slept with your hand.

3. When I was in high school, the physics teacher often dragged out the class. Whenever the bell rang at the end of class, the physics teacher always talked calmly, and the students complained. When the physics teacher learned about it, he said solemnly: "You don't cooperate at all in class, how can you be efficient?" There is no end to the lecture, only to extend the time! So, the next day, the students actively cooperated in the class, and the whole class went quite smoothly. When the bell rang, everyone thought that the class would be left immediately, but the physics teacher said with a smile: "Since everyone's interest is so high, let's talk about it for a while!" "The students are deeply dissatisfied with this.

4. The director of the second workshop of Jinluo Food Factory, 93 years old, 195 in height, came here to work after graduating from Tongji, and managed more than a dozen old employees after 70, and the management was very difficult. The old employees are all old fritters, and there are often mistakes in the business, and it happens that each old employee has a girl, who is similar to the age of the supervisor, and calls the supervisor as a son-in-law all day long, saying that he wants to introduce his daughter to him. The supervisor was tortured by this class of old employees to the point of no temper, and yesterday finally broke out, saying: As long as you are happy and do business well, you can say whatever you want!! I always feel tired listening.

5. Today, the abbot asked the rich woman to go to the Michelin Seven Star Hotel for dinner, the time of the appointment was 6 o'clock, but it was 6:20, and she had not yet come. The abbot was a little anxious, so he sent a message: "Where is it?" "No response, is this a silent refusal?" Or is it the high-cold disregard? The abbot's heart was sinking. Just in the abbot's desperate society, a message was suddenly received. The rich woman sent: "It's eye shadow..."

6, Didi taxi did not expect to hit a motorcycle! Look at the time, what car is still in charge, greet and go up. On the way to school, the driver soared all the way to 150, all kinds of lane grabbing, accelerating overtaking! Suddenly, the driver's eldest brother turned to me and said, "Brother, don't you think it's boring for people to live?" I suddenly felt that the driver's big brother was a person with a story: "Big brother, trouble pull over, I want to get out of the car!" ”

7, I went to the obstetrics and gynecology department for internship, my brother once entered the delivery room, a pregnant woman gave birth to a boy. The doctor asked me to go out and inform the family, and I ran out excitedly. I found the husband of the mother, surnamed Fen, and told him: Congratulations, you are born a father, you are going to be a son! I reacted and was about to correct it, and the man said excitedly, "Haha, I'm going to be a son." The relatives next to the man were petrified on the spot...

8. Yesterday I went to my brother's house to rub rice, my brother went out to buy vegetables, and my sister-in-law cooked in the kitchen. The phone she had placed on the table vibrated and it was a message from a stranger!! The message reads: "I'm in the Super Eight Hotel, Room 205, not seen or scattered!" "For the sake of family harmony, I quickly deleted the information, and while my sister-in-law was napping, I secretly came to the agreed place." Knocking on the door, it was actually my brother who opened the door!! My brother saw me and was surprised: "Why did you come?? I also looked confused and spat out, "I thought there was someone outside my sister-in-law!" Brother: "I just want to test your sister-in-law—down, to see if she will come!" ”

9, I went abroad on a business trip to let my husband help me take care of my sister, it just so happened that my sister fell out of love and was in a bad mood. The husband teased her for half a day to see that she was not smiling, so the husband stood up and said: "It seems that you can only use the sand hand, go, the brother-in-law will take you to eat barbecue!" "If you don't say that they are all family, they are very happy to eat." The husband looked at his sister and said, "Is the sister happy?" The girl nodded vigorously. The husband said: "Happy, go to the checkout, your sister is strict, I didn't bring money when I went out!" ”

10, yesterday and female colleagues on a business trip, at night together to eat a supper, back to the hotel after taking a shower on the plan to sleep, at this time she sent a message on the mobile phone WeChat: wise man thousand worries. At that time, I was tired and didn't think much about it, and I didn't go back to sleep, and it was always a little strange to look at her eyes today.?

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