01
Regarding habitual children, one of my neighbors is accustomed to level.
His only son has given whatever he wants since he was a child, and he will do whatever he wants, and he must be responsive to his needs and achieve what he wants.
No matter how out of the ordinary things, the parents will forgive them, and there is no sense of discipline.
The most famous one is when the mother has just cooked the rice, and the child has sprinkled a bubble of urine into the pot.
What is incomprehensible is that the family is not only not angry, but also laughs.
This kind of thing was not known to others, but his parents took it as a joke and told it every time, as honorable as a child who scored a hundred points.
When he grows up, the child is often naughty and troublesome, constantly being found by people, and his parents continue to help wipe his ass, but he never thought of strictly controlling him.
Finally, I heard that he mixed with some people in society, and finally something was not big or small, and he "went in".
Believe in it, there must be no one accustomed to him, believe that now his parents, there will definitely be regret in their hearts.
02
In an article a few days ago, I mentioned the way Guo Degang educated his son and quoted Guo Degang's original words:
"You've scolded him enough, and no one will scold him again after he goes out."
Although I specifically explained in the article that the "scolding" mentioned by Guo Degang refers to the strict management and punishment of children who make mistakes, refers to making rules for children from an early age and abiding by the rules, not that they scold children every day for no reason, but there are still readers who feel that it is inappropriate to do so.
Some readers left a message saying, Isn't home a warm place? Is scolding discipline? In what era is this way still continued?
This is really a misunderstanding of the meaning of family warmth, but also ignores the seriousness of family education.
Another reader left a message to refute it, which won my heart:
What I say to my children is that society is not your mother, and no one will get used to you!
03
Some people say that if you look at a person's character, you can have a meal with him.
If a child likes to pick and jump around when eating, eat loudly, see his favorite dishes, and want to put them all in his own bowl, when there are leftovers in the bowl, he will clip a chopstick...
It shows that such a child is uncultured and still a selfish person.
How likely is it that a child who is selfish in front of food grows up to be filial piety?
We all say that South Korea will respect the elderly and love the young, and practice it more thoroughly, which can be seen from their meals.
Korean parents behave like elders at the dinner table.
The youngest child in the family, before each meal, must be busy serving rice to the people in the house in order of old and young.
When he was finished, he still had to look at him without squinting, and sat down in a precarious position, respectfully saying to the elders at the dinner table:
"Thank you for giving me such a sumptuous meal!"
Because of their attention to the rules at the table, their elders have always done a good job.
04
The things on the dinner table, although small, can reflect many things, just as the dewdrops, although small, reflect the rainbows of the world.
The child's gluttony at the dinner table is small, but the rules are big, if the rules are broken, then what rules can the child abide by?
The ancients began to teach their children rules from a very young age, which has a certain reason, but now parents pay less and less attention to rules, and more and more children who are not filial piety are also increasing.
Most parents like oral education, but it is difficult to achieve real indoctrination, so that children can really appreciate the rules.
For example, if the child gives you the candy in his hand, you are happy to say: "The baby is awesome, you can eat it yourself", which rejects the child's "kindness".
It is likely that your refusal will make the child think that if the mother does not need it, then I will not give it next time; or the next time I will give it just to get your praise and pretend.
There are some rules that the child does not follow, then he will feel unnecessary.
Therefore, when serving, you should put the good dishes in front of the elders; the children cannot move the chopsticks before the elders do not move the chopsticks; and the whole family cannot move the chopsticks when they are not together.
Although this matter is small, it lets the child know that respect and filial piety to the elders are the things that must be done.
05
The greatest love for children is to let him understand the rules of this society and make him better adapt to this society.
After all, children will live in this society in the future, not stay with their parents all the time.
The train runs at 10 o'clock and won't wait for you until 10:01, not at all later.
When you enter the workplace, your colleagues won't bring food to your table, and your boss won't set an alarm for you.
If you don't catch up with the meal, you can only be hungry, and you will only be fired if you are late every day.
Every parent has two roles, not only to make the child feel the warmth of the family, but also to let the child feel the strictness of education.
Liu Yong said it well to his grandchildren:
As long as you go to class, you can't be a fool.
Grandpa was very kind and Grandpa teacher was very strict.
The home is relaxed, the classroom at home is serious.
Telling children the rules of this society and letting children learn to get along with this society is the real love and the rational love.
Always let the child live under his own wings, unconditionally indulge the child, on the surface is to love the child, but in fact to dig a hole for the child's life.
In the movie "Parasite", it is said: "Money is an iron, which can iron everything flat." ”
This is a very realistic statement, and if you taste it carefully, you will find that it is indeed so.
There is no one in this world who is a saint who does not eat fireworks. Having money in your hand can not only solve the minimum food and clothing, but also bring yourself a sense of security...
This peace of mind is the confidence that when the family is sick and taking medicine, they can take out money to save their lives;
This peace of mind is the ability to see things in the mall and buy them decisively.
No one in this world can make you rely on it for a lifetime, and in the end you still have to rely on yourself for everything. Only the money you earn by your own ability can really be relied upon.
Talking about money is not tacky, and those who do their best to make money are really capable.
Because they are visionary enough to pave the way for the future. They are also disciplined enough to know what money to spend and what money to save.
Run away for half a lifetime, may you be materially rich, have surplus grain in your hands, and do not panic in your heart.
No one's life is perfect, the world is uncertain, all kinds of unknowns, life will catch you off guard at any time.
But there's a saying that goes something that goes into a good way:
In this world, except for life and death, everything else is a small matter.
Looking at the life of the Northern Song Dynasty writer Fan Zhongyan, it can be described as ups and downs.
Since childhood, his family was poor, and as his mother lived a life under the fence, he was often treated coldly and did not have enough to eat.
As a young man, he devoted himself to learning, reading day and night, and with his outstanding talent, he finally entered high school.
However, the heavens did not treat him well because of this, and after zhongjinshi, because of his outspoken advice, he was framed by others and repeatedly encountered depreciation.
But despite this, Fan Zhongyan never complained about anything, and as always, he smiled frankly at the human world.
In the face of life's suffering, Fan Zhongyun is still happy in suffering, and can always find the joy of life in difficulties.
Life is like this, mixed with joy and sorrow, bittersweet and bittersweet.
In fact, life, like a cup of tea, has bitterness and sweetness.
The entrance feels bitter, and after tasting it, you can gradually discover its sweetness.
Only after experiencing bitterness can we better understand the preciousness of sweetness.
As there's a saying about it:
"It's especially good to be alive, it's especially fun. It can be experienced bitterly, and then it is particularly sweet. ”
No matter what kind of suffering, whether you experience bitterness or sweetness, joy or sorrow, is a precious treasure in your life.
Even if there are many unsatisfactory, please believe that life is like drinking tea, the more you drink, the more you will eventually be bitter.
The years are hurried, everything is passing by, and after a hundred years, it will eventually return to dust.
If this is the case, why not let go of the shackles of your heart and live happily?
It is not easy along the way, no matter what the process, all our experiences, the tastes of which, are irreproducible memories in life.
May we all live every day of the present conscientiously and live up to this short and splendid life.