There is a saying: No matter how poor you are, you can't be poor in education, and no matter how hard you are, you can't be bitter about your children.
Looking around, many parents shrink their own clothes and food, but they don't blink when they buy high-end brands for their children;
Stretch out your hands to the children's clothes, open your mouth to eat, and don't be willing to do any housework;
Parents are reluctant to travel a few times, but when children ask for money to participate in overseas travel, even if they borrow money, they have to sign up...
What happened to such a child when he grows up?
The more you spoil your child, the more chilling it becomes
Last year, there was a news that people can't forget for a long time after watching it:
The 32-year-old Yang graduated from Weinan Normal College, he is an only child, his parents are reluctant to let him suffer a little grievance, save money for him to finish college.
Because he has not suffered any hardships since he was a child, after entering the society, Yang Moucai first tasted the hardships and difficulties of life, thinking of his snubbed and the white eyes he encountered, his psychology gradually distorted, and every day in his mind he conceived how to make money quickly.
One day, he stumbled upon the fact that if he encountered an accident after purchasing insurance, the insurance company would make a huge compensation, and he immediately applied for multiple insurances for his parents such as personal accidents and high disabilities.
He then cooked his parents himself, mixed the prepared nitrites into the beef he bought, and took the initiative to put the poisonous beef into his parents' bowls when he ate.
But the parents loved their sons too much and wanted to keep them for their sons, so they didn't eat a bite.
Yang Mou not only did not have a little remorse, but also went to the kitchen, mixed nitrite in the water, stirred it well, and then gave it to his parents, watching his parents drink it.
He watched as his parents struggled to die, and finally opened the gas canister to create a scene of gas poisoning that killed people.
The emergence of this tragedy is of course the extinction of Yang's humanity, and the deep-seated reason is the excessive doting of his parents on Yang.
From an early age, everything is arranged for the child, and the child is not frustrated.
As everyone knows, when such a child loses the protection of his parents and faces society alone, once he encounters setbacks, the child's ability to withstand and resist is almost zero.
Rousseau once said: "Do you know what method you use to make your child an unfortunate person?" This method is to be obedient to him. ”
Your coddling not only takes the child's life, let him play the evil in his nature to the extreme, but also takes his own life.
There are no born bear children, only parents who lack education
There are no born bear children, only parents who lack education. The one who can educate your son must be your door.
The so-called expensive is not the amount of wealth, but the price is in the mind of the parents, the pattern of the parents, the educational philosophy of the parents, and more valuable in the words and deeds of the parents.
When it comes to Fan Zhongyan, people will blurt out that "the worries of the world are worried before the world, and the happiness of the world is happy after the world", but many people do not know that Fan Zhongyan's descendants are all striving for academic progress, and later they are more famous and good, and their descendants have been passed down from generation to generation, and have endured eight hundred years.
The "History of Song" commented on Fan Zhongyan's son Fan Chunren, saying: "The official is the prime minister, clean and frugal, and does many good deeds, which is praised by the people. ”
It is also recorded in the "Old Stories of Qu Huan" that Fan Zhongyan's grandson Fan Zhengping was studying outside the city, twenty miles away from the city, and in the summer he used a broken fan to shade the sun, and walked forty miles back and forth to school every day, and no one knew that his father Fan Chunren was a high official in the capital.
And all this stems from the strict teachings of Fan Zhongyan, who often admonished posterity: "Money is not light, hard work comes; luxury is not learned, self-help poverty." ”
When Fan Chunren got married, he and his wife planned to decorate the wedding room with brocade and satin.
When Fan Zhongyan knew this, he immediately called Fan Chunren to him for admonition: "My family has always been honest and frugal, how can I condone you to be so extravagant and ruin my Fan family's style!" If the drapery is brought into the house, I will burn it in public. ”
In today's society, when many parents of poor families do not let their children suffer and desperately raise their children into rich children, the rich people desperately want their children to suffer.
Dong Mingzhu has paid attention to cultivating her son's spirit of hardship since he was a child. From childhood to adulthood, Dong Mingzhu did not use a car to pick up his son once, and always let him take the bus to go home by himself.
One day, Dong Mingzhu waited for his son to come back to eat, but he didn't see his son come home.
After the son arrived home, he told Dong Mingzhu that he had waited for more than half an hour for a car without air conditioning for a dollar.
So her son has been strong and self-reliant since he was a child, and even when he took the college entrance examination, he was prepared alone, bringing his own commonly used medicines to prevent accidents.
When he grew up, his son said, "Mom can start from scratch, and so can I." ”
Although the mother's family is rich, the son is a lawyer with a monthly salary of only five or six thousand yuan, driving a car of about 100,000 yuan, and living in a house that is also rented.
There are no shortcuts on the road to growth. Parents will eventually withdraw from their children's lives, and the sweetness that they have received without suffering will one day be returned.
Therefore, to truly love a child, it is not to put him into a honeypot, but to experience the bitterness and sweetness of his own, to explore the meaning and value of struggle alone.
In the face of wind and rain, you can also be undaunted, wait for the wind and rain to be calm, and keep the clouds open to see the moon.
Smart parents know how to make their children suffer
In fact, suffering itself has no meaning, not that which child suffers more, the greater the ability he will have in the future.
What makes children grow up is not suffering, but the perception and thinking after suffering, as well as the experience and sublimation of personal qualities.
Therefore, simple suffering is not worthy of praise, otherwise, wouldn't the street homeless who suffered a lot become a winner in life?
What is praiseworthy is the ability to overcome suffering, and the happiness that comes with overcoming suffering.
Those who have read the book, I am afraid that everyone will recite Mencius's "bitter heart, labor their bones, starve their bodies..."
However, many people forget the beginning on their backs: the heavens will descend on the Slovaks.
Therefore, many people have forgotten the ultimate purpose of suffering and mistakenly regard suffering itself as a noble glory.
The same is true for children to suffer, and the real meaningful hardship is not simply a material grievance of the child, but a child who strives to overcome suffering, win what he really wants, and gain the confidence to live independently in the second half of his life.
In July last year, U.S. Chief Justice John Roberts said something "harsh" at his son's graduation ceremony, which also triggered deep thinking in society while swiping the screen on social media.
"Usually, the guest speakers at the graduation ceremony will wish you good luck and send your blessings, but I don't do that.
I hope that you will encounter injustice from time to time in the years to come, so that you will understand the value of justice.
May you taste betrayal, which will teach you the importance of loyalty.
May you occasionally have bad luck so that you will realize the place of opportunity in life and understand that your success is not predestined, and the failures of others are not natural.
When you fail, may you be ridiculed by your opponents for schadenfreude, which will make you understand the importance of the spirit of competition.
May you be ignored occasionally so that you can learn to listen; suffer appropriately so that you can have compassion.
Whether you want it or not, sooner or later it will come. Whether you can benefit from it depends on whether you can understand the message of life's suffering. ”
Therefore, from an early age, let children suffer, and think about the meaning of suffering from it, draw wisdom to overcome suffering, let children suffer and eat meaningfully, and parents do not suffer in their later years.
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