Every parent wants to cultivate a healthy, confident and excellent child through their own education.
In this process, it is inevitable to encounter some problems.
Because children will continue to make mistakes in the process, each mistake will make them grow once.
Parents will also use some criticism to guide them and help them correct.
In the face of these criticisms, some children cannot accept it.
You know: "Advice is good for the ear", even criticism can not be accepted, how can children change? The road ahead is still very long, always very resistant to face criticism, how to grow better.
My friend Dabao is in the first grade, but it is difficult to accept criticism, and if he fails a little, he will be very frustrated and will not let others say it.
01
The reason why children are afraid of criticism and failure
Parents are confused as to why their children are afraid of criticism and failure. Sometimes they are very emotional just a little thing, even if they do it wrong, what is the reason?
Reason 1: The result of parental coddling
Doting parents always take care of their children continuously, from childhood to adulthood.
From the time they fell to school, this education continued.
After arriving at school, the teacher criticizes the incomprehension of the peer, and the child is completely unsuitable.
As Guo Degang once said to his son: "When you are young, your parents do not manage your children well, and when you grow up, society will discipline them", so coddling creates the vulnerability of children.
Reason 2: Self-esteem is at work
Everyone has their own self-esteem, and self-esteem determines all the appreciation and criticism of the outside world for the child.
Their aversion to criticism and their fear of failure are all related to self-esteem.
When you encounter others criticizing yourself, when your own things fail, you will not correct yourself through these words, but will start to get tired of criticism because of self-esteem.
Their excessive self-esteem makes them hate criticism, and they can't accept or admit it.
Reason 3: Parents mislabel
Some parents always mislabel their children and preconceived some mistakes on their children.
Always only see the behavior without understanding the reason, the wrong labeling behavior, let the child think that he is the person his parents think he is.
A labeled life is like being held up in a hat that can never be taken off.
It will make the child become inferior and vulnerable, but will be more afraid of failure.
Reason 4: The result of over-praise
Good kids are exaggerated, but if it's excessive praise, it's not a good thing.
Some parents often say something praising their child.
The words are: "You're awesome," "You're so smart," "You're the best person."
Frequently instilling such cognition into children makes children feel that they are really great, and slowly they will form an "eggshell effect".
In the face of cruel facts, when children encounter some setbacks and difficulties, the eggshell will be broken.
02
Children are always afraid of the dangers of criticism and failure
If a child is always afraid of criticism and failure, it is very detrimental to their future development.
Not only will it become stagnant because of the continuous occurrence of failures, but it will also be easy to form a negative bad mood of self-abandonment, and it is not willing to do anything.
When faced with the criticism of their parents, they will be very resistant to their parents, hate their parents and even hate the people around them who give them opinions.
Relationships are affected, and they can also become very withdrawn and inferior.
03
Children are always afraid of failure and do not accept criticism of what to do
In the face of this criticism and resistance of children, it is also a failed behavior, how should parents correctly guide and help?
In fact, you can try to do it from the following.
Method 1, do not label casually
In life, do not casually label children, whether the child is right or wrong, you must ask the reason in time, and then determine how to do it.
This way can help children better understand themselves, but also to avoid the harm caused to children by parental arbitrariness.
As it is, clear and clear explanation, children are more receptive.
Method 2: Pay attention to your tone
Parents should pay attention to their tone and communicate with their children with less accusatory or sarcastic language.
Even criticism requires some skill.
For example: "You can do better, you can also try it", "If you pack it up, it will be faster".
Sometimes it is not necessary to shout around, and more often than not, the gentle attitude of language can also play a role in educational criticism.
Stop making the mistake of thinking that criticism is all about yelling out loud and screaming.
Method 3: Play some competitive games
Take your child to play some competitive games in life, such as racing, chess and other games.
In this way, children's awareness of winning and losing is raised, knowing that winning and losing is a very common thing.
To deal with a peaceful mind, parents here should be careful not to always let them win in order to coax their children.
More often than not, it makes sense for them to feel the failure properly.
Method 4: Establish rules in life
Establish a child's awareness of rules in life, and know how to constantly learn some self-discipline knowledge from the rules.
Know what not to do.
Then, when doing things, if there is a mistake, parents should guide their children to recognize the mistake and learn to analyze the problem on their own.
Instead of just showing the results to the child.
Some mistakes should be borne by the child himself.
Maybe everyone is reluctant to accept criticism, but it is also appropriate to accept it.
If you want to solve the problem that children do not accept criticism and failure, you must do a good job of psychological guidance, do not blindly label, and do not yell casually.
Master the art of criticism and deal with things as they are. Positive education, children will become better.