In the evening, my wife took a bath and went into the bed and began to coddle me, my wife: "Husband, you really should learn from mosquitoes." I asked with a puzzled face, "Why do you want to learn from them?" "Old

In the evening, my wife took a bath and went into the bed and began to coddle me, my wife: "Husband, you really should learn from mosquitoes." I asked with a puzzled face, "Why do you want to learn from them?" The wife said quietly: "Mosquitoes, from time to time to create surprises, you see, I have an extra bag in my hand without paying attention." "I:...

★ This weekend, I went to visit my grandfather's house and went out with my grandfather after eating. Seeing a beautiful woman not far away, I couldn't help but look at it twice. Grandpa turned around and asked: Like it? I smiled. Grandpa: Wait! Say goodbye and strode forward. A few minutes later my phone rang and a sweet voice came: Hello, hello, is it xxx? Your grandpa got lost and is now near xxx, you hurry up! ★ When I was young, I was especially looking forward to my adulthood, because when I became an adult, I could do a lot of things. I remember the day after my eighteen-year-old coming-of-age ceremony, I couldn't wait to take out a cigarette in my room and light it. Because my parents promised me to do what I loved when I became an adult. Two minutes later, I covered my swollen face and repeatedly recalled what my parents had just said when they mixed doubles: Eighteen-year-old adulthood is the standard for other people's children, your standard for adulthood, we have the final say!!! ★ The sister-in-law has been talking to her boyfriend for two years and always feels insecure. One night, the sister-in-law sent a message to her boyfriend: "Honey, what are you doing?" The boyfriend quickly replied: "Just planned to sleep, what are you doing?" The sister-in-law said lightly, "Guess what I'm doing." The boyfriend guessed for a long time, but he didn't guess. The sister-in-law said coldly, "I'm in a nightclub, and it's just right behind you!" Boyfriend: "..."★ When I visited the Nike shoe store, I looked at a sneaker for more than 800 yuan. If you plan to buy it, I asked the hostess if she could give me an extra pair of shoelaces??? She refused with great indifference, and I gambled and left. But after returning home, the more I thought about it, the more I liked the shoes, but I couldn't pull down, so I had to change into clothes, pants, shoes and socks, put on a mask, glasses and hat back to the shoe store, go in and pretend to be a brother once, look around, and pick up the shoes without a word to pay. As a result, the hostess said, "Forget it, I'll still send you an extra pair of shoelaces." "★ The brother-in-law and his sister got engaged and bought a new house in Tomson Yipin, which was 100,000 yuan. Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law transferred 100,000 yuan to her brother-in-law with Alipay the next day. So the brother-in-law bought a house of 1800,000, and also bought 2 large toy pigs wrapped in bamboo charcoal, and put them on the sofa to absorb formaldehyde. One day, Dad and Mom came to visit the house. The second elder sat on the sofa drinking tea, and his mother suddenly asked: "This new house has formaldehyde, have you put anything to suck it?" Need to buy greenery? The brother-in-law said without hesitation: "Yes, there are two pigs sitting on the sofa helping to take drugs..." ★ At night, my husband changed his clothes and saw that he had bite marks on his back, and I asked him: "How did you come from??? He said: "I was bitten by a friend's dog!!! "I went, what dog can bite out such a round mark through clothes??? Home and everything is happy, and you can't fool around without evidence. Yesterday I asked my girlfriend to give me a bite on the back too, and come home at night when he changed clothes in front of him. As a result, he smoked a cigarette all night and was stunned that he didn't ask me!!! ★ The old man won 3 million yuan in the lottery last month, and when he had money, the old man spent 200,000 yuan to buy a watch for himself. The old man took it for a while and found that this watch went a little fast. So the old man went to the store to ask the boss for an explanation, and the old man said: How can I go faster than the ordinary watch when I spend 200,000 yuan to buy it? The boss laughed and said: This is the same reason that Porsche runs faster than Santana, and the famous watch is of course faster than the ordinary watch! ★ When I was working as a waiter at a KTV, I met my husband. Now that we have been married for a year, every time he comes home drunk, he always cleans up inside and out. Then I lay down on the window and slept until noon the next day. When he wakes up, he will say, "Wife, how did you suddenly become more diligent today?????? "★ Two days ago my sister called and said she sent me a courier so that I could remember signing for it. When I went to pick up the courier today, I found that it was a small paper box. When I took it apart, it looked like a large plate of yogurt, but it was all drunk, and only an empty box was left. There was also a note on the yogurt box, which read: Brother, this yogurt is particularly delicious, you can buy some of it yourself and try it! ★ My cousin's family has a large tank of fish, and the water and grass in the tank are abundant and there are many fish, which is beautiful. I like it every time I go to see it, I gladly also raised a small tank, but I can't always feed it, and when I can't figure it out, I look for my cousin to find a way, and my cousin looks at me deeply and says: "Be sure to change the water often!" Listening to this, I wondered even more, I often change the water, why not, just want to ask again, the cousin looked up at the melancholy and said: "The most important thing is to change the fish frequently!" "I suddenly realized! ★ My girlfriend wanted to learn to swim, so she dragged me to accompany her to the swimming pool to register. One day, we changed into our bathing suits and went to the pool. Timid, I saw the pool of water, crouching by the pool, one foot probing the water, and then retracting like lightning, and then reaching for the surface of the water, and retracting it, and so on many times. A handsome man next to him laughed: Beauty, are you here to soak in the bathhouse? ★ The mother-in-law went to RT-Mart today to buy abalone to supplement the body of the old man, and as a result, when she passed the overpass, she saved an old man who was ready to live lightly. In order to express his gratitude, the old man gave his mother-in-law more than 50 pounds of fruit, saying that he had grown it himself. The wife and mother-in-law looked at it and thought it was plum apricot or something. Then the mother-in-law picked up a rub and bit it on the mouth, resulting in a mouth full of black !!!!!! At first, it was not delicious, the mother-in-law thought it was not very cooked, and she was the kind of person who could not be wasted, and continued to eat. Finally, I nibbled on the core, and looked so much like a walnut?????? Take a clip to the door slit, hey!!!!!! What a walnut!!!!!!