1, a boy loves football, one day, he decided to go to the store to buy a new one. The lady of the shop sold him the last football in the shop, and he happily played for an afternoon. Late

1, a boy loves football, one day, he decided to go to the store to buy a new one. The lady of the shop sold him the last football in the shop, and he happily played for an afternoon. In the evening, the boy came home and turned on the TV, and when he saw a news story, he immediately broke into a cold sweat. Why?

2, a boy lying on a bed, thinking: "I don't know how many women have slept in this bed, although I don't know them, isn't this what is going on in this society now..." At this moment, a nurse's voice sounded: "Hey, what are you still rubbing?" It's time for you to be discharged! Other patients are still waiting for beds! ”

3, a small guy took a taxi, after arriving at the place, the guy gave fifty yuan as ten yuan to the driver... The driver took a look, immediately closed the door and accelerated to open the slip... After two traffic posts, see a red light, an emergency stop! Looking down at the rearview mirror, I found that the guy actually caught up... The guy pulled the door open! The driver hurriedly shouted: "I was wrong, the money is returned to you..." The guy was angry, one by one flying foot: are you stupid! Isn't it silly! Clip my clothes, clip my clothes know no!

4. When I was studying abroad, I had a roommate who had a lot of money at home. His father was also the boss of the real estate developer, and the living expenses at that time were fifty thousand yuan a month. After graduating from an internship at a company, a male colleague took a fancy to her. Just ask her out to dinner, my roommate is rich but relatively low-key. Plus I also had a lot of feelings for the man, so I agreed. Then they went to a normal restaurant, which averaged only a hundred yuan. The male colleague ordered the dish, and after the dish came up, the male colleague gently clipped a chopstick to the girlfriend and said to her. When you go out alone, you rarely come to this kind of restaurant to eat, right?

5) Because I refused to lend money to my ex-boyfriend, he proposed to break up. Three years later, my ex-boyfriend suddenly called: "Have you been doing well lately?" I said, "Of course it's good, boss, this, this, and this all packed!" The boss was stunned: "Girl, are you sure?" I waved my hand: "What, I still send you money!" "On the way home, I was eating buns stuffed with leeks and meat, crying as I ate!

6, once, I jokingly asked my four-year-old daughter: "We are ready to raise a pig, but we need to arrange work, we must choose a person to feed the pig delicious every day, a person to clean the pig's room every day, a person to bathe the pig every day, and choose a person to play with the pig every day, what do you want to do?" The daughter replied without hesitation: "Be a pig!" ”

7. My mother-in-law had an accident when she had double eyelid surgery and was blind in both eyes. The plastic surgery hospital compensated more than 5 million yuan, and the wife used this money to treat her mother-in-law everywhere, but they all said that the treatment was not good. A few days ago, a distant relative sent a guide dog. He said to his mother-in-law, "You can't see anything now, and this guide dog will help you." The mother-in-law looked frustrated: "It's useless, I only had a !!!!!! two days ago." ”

8. I found a briefcase near the Volkswagen 4S store and found that it contained a total of 80,000 cash! I think the owner must be particularly anxious, but in my own mind there are two little people fighting, one said: "Anyway, it was picked up, and no one saw it plus private money, buy an iPhone 11!" Another blocker said: "No, no, no, or buy Huawei, you can also save some private money to buy cigarettes!" ”

9, in the sea * fishing queue for an hour, after eating and driving home with his wife. As I was driving, I asked: Wife, did I run a red light when I was at the intersection just now? Wife: Don't be afraid, don't shoot at that intersection, drive your car quickly, don't talk nonsense! Me: Finished daughter-in-law, only patronizing to talk to you, the intersection pressed double yellow line, this intersection is photographed. Wife: I beg you not to talk, riding a broken bicycle who will take your picture, freeze me to death, ride fast!

10. Queued up for an hour in Haidilao, drove home with his wife after eating. As I was driving, I asked: Wife, did I run a red light when I was at the intersection just now? Wife: Don't be afraid, don't shoot at that intersection, drive your car quickly, don't talk nonsense! Me: Finished daughter-in-law, only patronizing to talk to you, the intersection pressed double yellow line, this intersection is photographed. Wife: I beg you not to talk, riding a broken bicycle who will take your picture, freeze me to death, ride fast!

11, in the morning, the sister-in-law hurriedly went out, and when she was late for work, she took a taxi to the company! The driver chatted with the sister-in-law and learned that the sister-in-law was single. The driver said: "My son has no object, a person in Beijing, graduated from a prestigious university, opened his own company, has a car and a house!" "The little sister-in-law thinks that this is not the uncle who has taken a fancy to himself?" Make yourself his daughter-in-law? The result uncle: "Alas, the same are all single, this gap is really big!" ”

12. This afternoon I went to the president's office to ask for leave, and I said: "President, my ex-wife got married and asked me to go, can I take a leave of absence?" President: "Approved, don't lose face!" Our company is also a good company, drive a better car earthquake scene, you look at the recent four hundred thousand to go to the line? I shook my head, president: "That's the best one!" Imported goods millions! Me: "President, are you sure I drive an excavator and people won't kill me?" ”

13, this day a millionaire because of business failure, now poor a mess. Today my son went on a blind date, and when he returned home, his mother asked him how he was. The son said it was OK, that is, he grew a little fat, and he was a big fat man of more than two hundred pounds. At this time, the mother said in a serious tone: Son, fat point is not a problem, on our family's conditions, hungry and thin she is sooner or later!

14, the Mid-Autumn Festival has passed, I think the moon cake is cheap, so I went to buy moon cake. "Sanren Mooncake!" These few words are very strange, isn't it called Wuren Mooncake? I suddenly remembered Ma Lao's cross-talk "Eat the Lantern", an old money to eat a thousand... Could it be that the merchant wrote the wrong word? The word "five" becomes "three" in two strokes. So I bought two mooncakes to try, Mom, there are only three peanut kernels in a month cake! I angrily asked the boss: Why do you only have three peanut kernels in your mooncake? The boss replied unhurriedly: Because it is a three-ren mooncake, do you think I have no culture and write a typo?