When transferring money to a female colleague who shared the house, I accidentally had an extra 0, so I hurried over to ask her to give me the excess. And she said, "Brother, why are you so stingy, 500 becomes 50."

When transferring money to a female colleague who shared the house, I accidentally had an extra 0, so I hurried over to ask her to give me the excess. As a result, she said: "Brother, why are you so stingy, 500 becomes 5000, isn't there more than 4500?" With our relationship, we can't take such a little money from you in vain? I said busily: "Don't talk nonsense, we have a normal relationship, hurry up and give me the money!" The female colleague said, "Brother, if this is not the case, I will invite you to dinner." "I refused as soon as I saw that it was already eleven o'clock in the evening. The female colleague said, "Brother, are you stupid?" I sneered darkly, who didn't know her thoughts, went out to dinner so late, and by the way, naughty, and then I was sure I was embarrassed to ask for money. But that's 4500, not worth it! The female colleague saw that I couldn't get in the oil and salt, so she went back to the room breathlessly, and after a while she opened the door and said: "Brother, it's late autumn, it's a little cold!" "I said you put the warm water bag on. The female colleague said I was stupid. I ignored it. The time is not much, and the female colleague called me again: "Brother, how do I feel that there is someone outside the window, a person is very afraid!" I exhaled and said, "You still say I'm stupid, are you stupid, is your room by the window?" Obviously my room is by the window. The female colleague said, "Am I not in your room?" "I hurried over and chased her up, really, I haven't washed it in a year, how can I let someone else sleep?" So tossed into the middle of the night, the female colleague was sleepy, so she returned the money to me, and said breathlessly: "I really served you, and I still see someone like you for the first time!" I sneered again, not caring about her taunts at all, what was wrong with me? I just want my money back. How difficult it is to make money, 4500 more than a month of salary, it is really not worth it!

2. Yama Meets with the Rich, Yama: I asked you to come back at the time, why are you still ahead of schedule? Rich: Alas, it is not that the unsightly money has been made too much, and it is known, so I have to hurry up and come early. Yama: When you come back in the next life, you will have to go light. But mankind has expelled me forever, and I am not allowed to become a human being again, and I have no next life!

3. When I was in college, I recognized an old rich businessman as a dry father, and after graduation I married him. Less than a month after getting married, the old rich businessman died of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage, and I inherited more than 80 million yuan. After I had the money, I began to have a relaxed life, and many young and strong young people liked me. The other day, I met with a little fresh meat. I asked him: What profession do you do? Little Fresh Meat said: Freelance. I thought about it for a moment and then said, "Then you just don't have a job!" Little Fresh Meat nodded: Congratulations, guessed right!! Me: So what do you rely on to eat? The little fresh meat said: By the mouth. Me: Can you talk seriously? Little Fresh Meat: If I don't use my mouth, then what do I use to nibble on the old?

4. The mother-in-law was carefully selected and finally found a good object for the sister-in-law. Mother-in-law: "He has 5 million savings, and he promises to love you for 10,000 years!" "So the sister-in-law and the man got married!" After marriage, the man said: "The annual living expenses of the two of us are 500 yuan!" The sister-in-law almost went crazy at that time: "What? You said you had 5 million savings, and you said you wanted to love me for ten thousand years! Man: "Yes, 5 million deposits, divided into 10,000 annual flowers, isn't it 500 yuan per year?" ”

5. Go to the bar with your girlfriend on the weekend, and don't go home until the early hours of the morning, there is no one on the road, and the car can't get there. After the two of us turned several black alleys, we finally found a taxi! The driver was sleeping, and then the girlfriend woke the driver up. He immediately said in an expression and tone of anger and innocence plus collapse: "I will go!" I hid here you can all find me! ”

6. Since Xiao Li went to college, the cost of living has also risen. This is not the day, and I am writing to my family again. Dear Father, your son is now in trouble, his academic performance cannot go up, he needs 2,000 yuan to improve his grades. Two days later, his father replied, which contained two hundred yuan and a piece of paper that said: "Son, you are all in college, even two hundred yuan are wrong, and write one more 0!" I will study hard in the future! ”

7. In my freshman year, I fell in love with the beautiful woman next door at first sight, but the difference in our status was too big, and I was a poor boy. In order to be worthy of her, he has been working and studying, hoping to earn money to support her. Unexpectedly, one day, my sister suddenly sent me a message: Let's break up. My heart was half cold at the time, and I couldn't believe it. Who knew that then came another text message saying: Sorry, sent the wrong person. It really scared me to death, and I thought I had actually broken up.

8. My girlfriend and I are about to get married and bought a three-bedroom house in Beijing's West Second Ring Road. When I was renovating, my mother said that if the family paid money, I wouldn't have to worry about it, so I handed over the house to my mother with confidence. Today I happened to be passing by, so I went to see how the house was installed, but I didn't expect my mother to hand over the house to my father. My dad told the decorator that he could just pretend, but I didn't agree, and I quarreled with my dad. Finally, my mother came forward and solved the problem in one sentence: the money is not in your father's place, and you talk nonsense with him.

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #