Infinite material satisfaction, verbal violence, over-dependence, parental untrustworthiness, lying, accusing children in front of guests, parents quarreling, eccentricity, not being able to give the same love to children, impatience to answer children's questions and other behaviors are all ways to ruin children's education.
What kind of parents ruin their children? Parents with the following 9 practices to be aware of.
Matter is infinitely satisfied
Many parents are too "stingy" with themselves, and it is not uncommon for them to be too "generous" to their children.
Half of these students have households whose per capita income does not meet the average level of locals.
Some families with good economic conditions are even more "rich and powerful", and they are even more "responsive" to their children.
In fact, children who do whatever they want in material enjoyment are likely to be cold and stupid children, they have less sense of responsibility, love to talk about pomp and pageantry, than magnanimous, and when they grow up, they do not know what frugality is, and they will not manage their finances.
Verbal violence
Many parents are angry and easy to say some ugly things.
Although I will regret it afterwards, the words spoken are like spilled water, and there is no way to take it back.
After the child hears these words, his self-confidence is completely shattered, and he will even subconsciously feel that he should be a stupid child, and over time, he really becomes a stupid child who does not like to use his brain.
Moreover, parents should not expect to use harsh language to correct their mistakes, on the contrary, it will make the children realize where they are wrong.
Children who have been verbally abused by their parents for a long time will become more and more introverted, more and more silent, and their relationship with their parents will become more and more distant, and they will no longer share anything with their families.
Control your child
Parents impose their unfulfilled dreams on their children.
The child's life belongs only to himself, and the parents can only assist from the side, but they cannot force the child to live as you are in your own heart.
Parents often say this to their children, which will cause a great burden on the child's psychology, and feel that it is their life's mission to have a nurturing parent in the future, thus forgetting their true preferences and tasks.
How tired should a child growing up like this be.
Parents quarrel in front of their children
A child psychology research institute once conducted a psychological survey of more than 3,000 school-age children, one of which was "What are you most afraid of mom and dad", and the most answered was: "I am most afraid of my parents getting angry, afraid of them arguing." One of the answer sheets was vividly written: "I am most afraid of my father getting angry, and his angry look is terrible!" My mother cried angrily, and I was so frightened that I was like a little mouse, my heart was pounding, and I couldn't eat food. ”
Parents think that their children are still young, and what they say and do between husband and wife does not matter to the children.
In fact, the children's pair of bright eyes have already recorded all the words and deeds of their parents in front of them.
In some families, husband and wife quarrel endlessly, full of foul language, and even hands and feet, the family atmosphere is often in a state of tension, which forms a huge pressure on the child's psychology.
Some parents, long-term emotional discord, silent at home, children living in this atmosphere are very depressed, and over time is bound to damage their mental health, which will make children become indifferent, lonely, stubborn, and rude, and become psychological deformities.
Therefore, creating a good family atmosphere for children is something that every caring young parent should keep in mind.
eccentricity
In the Tangshan earthquake, a pair of children were crushed under the same cement board, facing the difficult choice of saving only one, the mother chose her son Fang Da, and fortunately her daughter Fang Deng later survived this disaster and was adopted by a PLA couple as an adopted daughter.
However, because the daughter resented her mother's eccentricity and resented the "save her brother" that she said, she experienced a lot of things outside, suffered a lot of hardships and was unwilling to go home to recognize her relatives, and was separated from her family for 32 years.
Parents are biased, so that some children grow up in the afterglow of their parents from an early age, the same pair of parents' children, pocket money, clothes, travel, treatment is not the same, which will bring shadows to the growth of children.
A large number of studies have found that parental eccentricity can adversely affect the mental health of children, causing behavioral problems in children, adolescents and even adulthood, even if they grow up and live away from home for many years and build their own families, the impact is still there.
Moreover, whether it is a favored child, a child who is snubbed, or a child who is watching, as long as he is aware of his mother's eccentricity, he will be damaged.
A neglected child resents his mother or a favored child, and a favored child incurs the hatred of his siblings.
Parents are untrustworthy and lie
Some parents verbally promise certain conditions around learning, but when the child completes the parents' requirements, the parents push back and forth when they fulfill the requirements.
For example, some parents say: hurry up and write homework, finish homework and watch TV, but after the child finishes writing homework, parents will leave some learning tasks to let the child continue to learn.
Some parents promise their children that as long as their test scores reach the top few, there will be some rewards, and the child really does a good test, but he can't get the rewards he deserves.
Children hate their parents most easily and can't keep their promises, have no faith in their words, and "tease" themselves.
Loss of prestige at the same time, parents do not count what they say, not only lose their prestige in the child's mind, but also not conducive to the growth of the child, and even affect the child's own image.
It will make children who have not formed a trustworthy concept feel that a person can be irresponsible when he speaks, and he can also not do things that promise others, so that children can easily develop the bad habit of "rashness" and "no credit", and after adulthood, this "untrustworthy" habit will make him lose a lot of friends and opportunities.
Don't be patient to answer your child's questions
Curiosity is human nature, especially in childhood, and curiosity is particularly heavy.
However, many parents do not pay attention to their children's problems and do not become the first teacher in their children's lives.
Some parents are annoyed with their children, sending their children away with two words, the child may still be very small, but he can also feel the attitude of his parents, and the coldness of his parents will make the children think that they should not ask questions, or should not ask this kind of question, so that he has lost confidence in his ability.
If parents do not have time to answer the child at that time, they should first affirm the child's question, then explain to the child that they are really not available now, and promise the child to answer the child's question at a special time.
Friends of children are not welcome
When the child grows up, he also hopes to have a few sincere friends and share his joys and sorrows with himself, and I believe that mothers should also hope that their children's interpersonal relationships are good.
However, some parents may not like it because their child's friends are not very polite or too calculating.
However, for children, with the gradual development of the body and mind, it is hoped that parents will treat them as "adults" and respect the vision that children have when choosing friends.
If parents always discipline and intermittently or uninterruptedly express their dislike for their children's good friends, it is bound to cause children's disgust, so that the gap between the two sides will gradually increase.
Respect your child's choice of good friends
Parents should look at their children's good friends from the child's point of view, be good at role transposition thinking, and respect and maintain the child's choice.
Parents acknowledge the differences they make when choosing friends with their children and respect them.
Sometimes give the child enough face, and the child will also give the parents enough face.
Blame the child in front of the guests
People come and go, friends and family get together, talk about their children, often become one of the important topics.
Many parents like to expose their children's shortcomings in front of everyone, as if they are complaining to others, saying that it is not easy to educate such a child.
But unbeknownst to him, he only cares about criticizing his shortcomings and winning the admiration of others, and describes the child as "tofu slag".
This invisibly makes the child feel that he can't do anything, no one appreciates him, such as learning is not good, looks are not good, communication is not good, doing housework is not good, let the family suffer for him, but also feel that the parents are not satisfied with themselves, and the parents are gradually estranged.
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