When my brother-in-law gets married, I give 10,000 gifts, my brother gets married, and my wife is only willing to pay 3,000

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Letters from readers

Muzi Lee:

My wife and I work in different departments of the same group company, and when I first joined the work, I had confessed to my wife, but my wife did not break up with her boyfriend during college, so naturally I did not play. After that, I also had a relationship with other girls, but for various reasons, I did not succeed in holding hands in marriage. Later, after being matched by relatives, my parents forced me to go on a blind date. At that time, my relatives only told me that the blind date girl and I were in the same unit, and did not say other details. Unexpectedly, the blind date turned out to be my wife.

She has also experienced breakups with her ex over the years and has also talked about some failed loves.

Later, we fell in love, and a year later, Bongzi got married.

When we got married, my parents-in-law did not ask me for dowry money, but my parents-in-law had something to say first: when my brother-in-law got married, I would bear half of the dowry (according to the market on our side, about 50,000 yuan), and for this matter, I and my parents also happily agreed.

In the fourth year of our marriage, my brother-in-law got married, and I gave a dowry of 60,000 yuan, and another 10,000 yuan. In this regard, the parents-in-law are very happy and very satisfied.

However, the year after my brother-in-law got married, catching up with my brother's marriage, I wanted a bowl of water to be flat, so I planned to give my brother a gift of ten thousand, but unexpectedly, my wife was very unhappy and only willing to give three thousand gifts.

Directly back to the wife: Your brother is a younger brother, my brother is not a younger brother?

Wife's reply: Don't reason with me, I will follow the gift of three thousand, if you do not agree, then, your brother's wedding, I will not participate.

Not wanting to embarrass my brother's wedding too much, I agreed to my wife's request.

In fact, the ledger was three thousand gifts, and I secretly borrowed ten thousand from my parents and gave it to my brother. And he said to my parents: In the future, when you are loose on the monetary level, give my brother twenty thousand, and give my brothers a share of ten thousand.

Although I didn't have too much trouble with my wife because of this matter, I felt a little uncomfortable in my heart.

I want to ask: What is my wife's mentality?

I also want to ask you: Is your wife also so stingy?

Muzi Li answered the reader's question:

Home is not a reasonable place, and many women will have such a mentality after marriage: my parents raised me for more than twenty years, but I can not fulfill filial piety (only refers to the level of money), so many women are very generous when the mother's family encounters trouble, and in the New Year's holiday, they will also choose relatively expensive gifts for their parents. However, for the brothers and sisters or in-laws of the husband's family, they are relatively stingy. The woman's cognition is like this: the in-laws buy a house and spend money for their husbands, as they should be.

Therefore, in some small links, men do not need to worry about women, as long as in the marriage relationship, women know that they hurt you, care about you and are good to your children.

You are actually a relatively intelligent man, when encountering some common things, you can learn to be flexible, and do not want your brother to suffer losses, I think you are also kind and righteous.

For many parents, it is common to try to make a bowl of water flat.

Not long ago, my brother bought a new house, and when it was renovated, my parents gave it fifty thousand. Actually, I don't care about this at all. However, my mother still took the initiative to call me and said that she would definitely give me the same amount of money when she came back.

Therefore, it will feel that parents sometimes, in order to take care of their children, are really very difficult for them.

Life is like this, and in the future, there may be some slightly unfair things. In this case, try to find a way to work around. Instead of taking the punishment of the lover to affect the quality of the marriage.