How important is a person's environment for growing up?
In the classic of traditional Chinese studies, "Augmenting the Xianwen", it is said: "The rich do not know the new use, and it is difficult to change the old family style when they are poor." That is to say: people who suddenly become rich will not know how to use the money in their hands reasonably; people who suddenly fall into poverty will find it difficult to change the good family style they once had.
What is home style? It is the ethos of a family, the values formed by family members.
It can be said that people who have inherited a good family style, even if they fall into the trough of life for a while, are more likely to turn over. The family style of a family is often created by parents.
Su Shi under the fine family style
As we all know, Su Shi, a great writer of the Northern Song Dynasty, although he had the talent of "all-round", was either degraded or on the road to being degraded in his life. In such a bumpy life, Su Shi can still live a tasteful life, which is related to family style.
When Su Shi was a child, his father Su Xun went out to study, and the heavy responsibility of educating the children fell on his mother Cheng Shi.
Once, Su Shi saw his mother reading the Book of the Later Han Dynasty. Xiao Sushi asked Cheng Shi next to him: "Mother, if I become a person like Fan Huan who is not afraid of adultery and anti-corruption, will you agree?" ”
Cheng Shi touched Xiao SuShi's head with pity and said, "If you want to be Fan Huan, then I will be Fan Huan's mother." ”
It is this kind of family style that has cultivated Su Shi's open-minded, optimistic and studious personality. This shows how important a good home style is.
For contemporary parents, although it is not necessarily possible to teach their children to read by hand. But in order to cultivate a good family style, at least teach children the following three things.
First, how to learn
In the eyes of many parents, learning is equivalent to reading. As a result, most parents send their children to school and simply ignore them and wait for the test scores.
In fact, learning is an ability. For example: the same class, the same teacher, why are students' grades good or bad? The fundamental reason is that there is a difference between children's learning ability. This ability to learn is more of a need for parents to teach their children.
No one in the world knows their children better than parents, and only parents know best what kind of learning style their children are suitable for – and this is also where parents should spend their minds.
Second, how to be independent
Independence does not only mean being able to live independently, but more importantly, having the ability to think independently. Just like Su Shi, although he knew that Fan Huan had been convicted and imprisoned, he even lived for only 33 years. But Su Shi understood that Fan Huan had been framed for his honesty and integrity.
It is precisely because of Su Shi's independent thinking that he can shape the ability to distinguish between right and wrong and form correct values.
For parents in modern society, teaching their children to develop the ability to think independently can not only let children learn to take responsibility, but also be able to endure hardships and withstand the setbacks of life.
Third, become a cultured person
The Three Character Sutra says, "If you don't teach, it's the fault of the father." "A person living in this world can live without family wealth and without a high social status, but he cannot live without education. But parenting is not innate, it needs to be cultivated by parents.
Some children grow up to drink from their elders, and even punch and kick their elders, all because of the lack of upbringing.
A cultured child who knows how to be grateful, knows how to speak well, and will abide by the rules of doing things - such a child, even if he will not be rich and wealthy in the future, will always be surrounded by a large number of people who help him, and his life will not be bad.
Conclusion
The Augmentation of the Sages says: "Adopted sons are not taught as donkeys, and adopted daughters are not taught as pigs." Although this is a little unpleasant, it is not rough.
From the perspective of being a person, family education is even more important than learning knowledge and skills. Create a good family style, children will be better than their parents, and children's children will go up to a higher level on this basis.
In this way, the whole family and even the whole family will truly achieve "a generation is stronger than a generation".