Every child is different! Some children are born like to "collect debts", children can cry for more than an hour if they let go of crying, and their mothers can be angry. But there are also children who are completely different, as if they are babies who come to "repay the favor". The child's emotions come and go fast, even if they are angry because of small things, they will immediately be discouraged. There are very few times of crying, and even less of them when there is unreasonable trouble.
Why are they all children, and why is the gap so big?
My friend is a kindergarten teacher, and the children she has come into contact with have a big personality gap.
For example, 5-year-old baby Dada was asked by a teacher in kindergarten: "What about your handmade picture book?" Why didn't you take it out? As a result, Dada stood up in a panic, he bowed his head, did not dare to admit that he was wrong, and stood in the same place and cried.
The teacher did not mean to criticize Dada, but Xiao Dada refused to forgive himself. She remembered that the teacher had asked for a "handmade picture book", but she blamed herself even more, and forgot to tell her mother to buy it yesterday. In this way, Little Dada had no head when he cried, and the teacher was tired of crying, and he had to let the assistant teacher lead Dada aside to coax him, and the teacher continued to teach other students.
The same thing, but the performance of other children is very good. Dada's tablemate Xiaozhuang also forgot to bring a handmade picture book, and the teacher also asked Zhuangzhuang. However, Xiao Zhuangzhuang took the initiative to stand up, admitted his mistake, and told the teacher: "I'm sorry, I was wrong, I forgot about this matter, tomorrow I promise to bring it." ”
As a result, after such a one-sentence exchange, the teacher smiled and signaled Xiaozhuangzhuang to sit down and instructed the child to remember to bring a handmade drawing book to class the next day.
In this class, Little Dada was already crying so much that he couldn't go to class at all. But Xiao Zhuangzhuang continued to listen to the lecture, listening to it with relish, and did not delay his study at all.
Two children face the same "frustration environment", both do something wrong and are "criticized" by the teacher, but their performance is very different. One child has no emotional management ability, while the other has a strong self-awareness, can control his sadness and grievances, do not cry or make trouble, and correct mistakes when he knows his mistakes.
It can be seen from this incident that some children have a good family education, while some children are indeed not well educated in the family. The point is that there is a very popular concept involved here called "self-awareness", and we will analyze it today through the case.
Let's take a look at it first, what is self-awareness?
The so-called self-awareness is that the child can identify and understand his own attitudes, behaviors, and motivations, separate the self from the mind, and take himself as the object of observation and scrutiny.
We see that Dada, although 5 years older, still does a very bad job of self-awareness. Dada does not rationally reflect and think about his own behavior and mistakes, that is, blindly resisting with emotions, cannot treat himself as an "outsider" to see cognition, and cannot regulate his own emotions.
XiaoZhuangzhuang is different, he is like an "outsider" in the way, rational and methodical, the attitude of admitting mistakes is timely and correct, and the solution is to correct mistakes, which is really great.
Generally, when children are about 2 years old, parents begin to educate their children to be self-aware. If the child reaches the age of 5 to 8 and still does a bad job in this regard, it means that the guidance of parents may not be in place and needs to be followed up to educate the baby.
From the age of 2, the child's brain development reaches its peak, which is the key period for training children to control emotions and improve children's self-awareness. At this time, the frontal lobe of the brain responsible for controlling emotions has just developed and is not yet perfect, so children are more likely to lose control of their emotions, disobey, and have low anti-quotient.
At this time, if the parents can help the child, realize that the child has lost his temper, the emotions are out of control, and the behavior is inappropriate. Then, the child will slowly realize that it is wrong to do so, which is not conducive to his own image and health, and is a behavior that should be corrected.
Slowly, the child can have a certain degree of "self-control", actively confront bad emotions, break through themselves, and gradually develop into a person with strong self-awareness.
However, this does require a process of hard work, and children cannot "grow up" all at once, and they cannot learn to control emotions immediately.
Teaching children to be "self-aware" is the most precious gift that parents give to their children
What gifts do parents give their children the most precious in this life? Of course it is a pleasant mood, a healthy body. Parents teach children self-awareness as soon as possible, and the stronger the child's ability to control emotions, the easier it is for children to live happily, carefreely and grow up healthily in the future.
For example, Dada realized that he had done something wrong, and he also realized that the teacher was criticizing him, and Dada felt aggrieved, unhappy, and anxious. These are all normal emotional reactions, but Dada did not control the emotions well, immersed in bad emotions and cried sadly, did not recognize his own behavior, hindered cognitive and psychological development.
If usually, when parents encounter such a situation, they can tell their children: "Stop when you are finished crying, and we will find a way to solve the problem." You may wish to quickly write about the belt picture book in the book first, so that you will not forget to bring it the next day. ”
With a solution, the child will be able to act in behavior, be able to control emotions, and slowly have a certain mode of behavior, and can fully realize "self-awareness" and emotional management.