Don't rush to "teach" your child right away

1

Picked up the cow and came back from school and gave him homework.

After Niu Niu finished writing, his wife took a closer look and said:

"The words of cows and cows have improved a lot!"

I was also surprised:

"Niu Niu is now not afraid to write complex pinyin and Chinese characters!"

In retrospect, at first Niu Niu was reluctant to write homework

Slightly more difficult Chinese characters and pinyin he complained:

"It's also too hard, can you not write it?"

And often deserted, or perfunctory

Fortunately, I resisted and did not criticize him

Instead, it is constantly reducing the difficulty of the work

Wrote the most basic pinyin and Chinese characters for a month or two

And encourage children to insist on writing and develop habits every day

My biggest takeaway is:

Just keep practicing every day

Your child's progress will be frighteningly fast

I'm afraid that adults are too anxious

See where your child is doing badly

Immediately urge, force, scold, and reason

I can't wait to teach my children once

As a result, the child is afraid, shrinks, and never wants to do it again

2

In retrospect, Niu Niu has never been a worry-free baby

Lying in bed in the morning, getting up and making a fuss

Do not sleep every night at 12 o'clock

Loved throwing toys to make a fuss

Watching TV is addictive and I refuse to turn it off all day

Crazy to play mobile games, video game consoles

And so on and so forth

Almost all the problems that give parents a headache

Cows and cows have all been there

But today he came back from school

Take your brother to play in the neighborhood

Wrote two assignments

Helped to tidy up the room

The skipping rope is complete

I took a bath and dressed myself

I also read a book before going to bed

Didn't watch TV, very cooperative in everything

At night, I also took my brother to sleep, and I didn't have to take care of my parents

I know very well in my heart:

Now this "angel baby"

It's just a problem that is patiently solved

Change children not in days

Because you will feel hopeless

——The bear child can't change it in a few days!

Then you yourself have compromised and given up

"Impotent Rage" will not solve the problem

It will only hurt yourself and your children

But if we have determination

Cultivate children's good habits in months and even years

Even if it's a "Chaos Demon King"

In three or four years, more than a dozen problems have also been adjusted

3

Raising children is like the Long March of the Red Army.

In order to make the cow no longer resist and be afraid to write homework

I made an integral table

A parent consulted me this morning:

"The child is lying in bed again today and is late, I am so angry!"

Instead of answering directly, I asked her

How about the problem of children's mobile phone Internet addiction these days?

She said that playing with her mobile phone these two days is fine

If you can comply with the rules, you will return the mobile phone when the time is up

She also mentioned that she didn't shout the child today

Just leave it alone and go down to buy breakfast

The result came back when

The child has gotten up on his own, dressed and tied his hair

I said yes, the child still has progress

When people are in a hurry, they will be full of negative thoughts

Seeing that the child is all shortcomings, not saved, the more I think about it, the more angry I am

This is called "unidirectional thinking."

We ourselves must first stabilize

The habit of children playing with mobile phones has not yet been fully consolidated

You spend two or three weeks continuing to encourage and praise her

Boast that she can control the time she plays with her phone

Habit formation requires such a cycle

Don't let a habit not be consolidated

Go grab another one

That makes it easy for old diseases to recur and go back, right?

In short, communicate with your child calmly

We must have the determination to fight a protracted war

The cultivation of one habit after another, the child will eventually become a talent

The more anxious the more angry, the more nagging and scolding, the more the child does not enter

4

In the eyes of parents, we must "tolerate sand"

Many times, we see the inadequacy of children

Can't help but point it out right away

Reason with him and urge him to make corrections

But it often has little effect, right?

I summarized several principles of parent-child communication:

1) Say the same thing only once

2) Stop and don't say anything when the child is impatient

3) Don't "say it on the spot" to prevent your child from getting bored with what they are doing

4) Think about the words in advance, find the right time, and wait until the child can accept it

5) Every time the communication is as "happy to start, happy to end", the child will become more and more "obedient"

Especially the last one, 90% of parents can't do it

First of all, we are accustomed to starting with criticism and picking mistakes

"How come you are... Huh? ”

"You wouldn't know how simple this question is?"

We like to talk at length, preach theory rules

However, the child is already full of complaints and irritability

Second, we don't recognize it

After criticizing children, the importance of "finishing work"

After each scolding, let the child digest it by himself

But children carry resentment and "one-way thinking"

It will only become more and more annoying to adult preaching

The gap between parents and children is getting deeper and deeper

What is the right thing to do?

On the one hand

We can play with the kids for a while

Wait for the child to be happy

Then discuss the problem with the child and agree on a solution

Children are likely to listen patiently and agree to adult requests

On the other hand

After criticizing and scolding the child

Be sure to do so in the shortest possible time

Reconcile with your children and ease the atmosphere

Take the child to do something else pleasant to distract themselves

"I'm sorry, my mother killed you just now."

"Is it because you just made a mistake?" Next time I believe you can do it right, mom won't lose her temper anymore, okay? ”

"Come, Mother, read you a story, we haven't read it in a long time!"

5

Good behavior habits are "exaggerated"

Want to keep your child out of bed

You have to compliment him for getting up 5 minutes earlier today than yesterday

I want girls to talk less fiercely

You have to praise her for being very ladylike and sounding

I want students to write homework without desertion

You have to praise him for being fast and good and undisturbed

Many parents are not unaware of the importance of "encouragement"

It's not enough patience

Before the time comes, it has already "broken the work"

Involuntarily enter the mode of criticism and nagging

In short, we need to correct the shortcomings of our children

We must not rely on urging, nagging, reminding, scolding

These ways are destruction

Destroy your child's self-esteem, self-confidence, and independence

It also destroys the original harmonious parent-child relationship

We have to wait like hunters

Wait until there is a slight, slight change in his side

We exaggerate and exaggerate encouragement and amplification

Let children "experience a sense of accomplishment frequently"

In this way, children can enjoy their tireless efforts and progress

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