"Hurry up, you're going to be late again."
"Are you done with your homework?"
…………
Xiao Ren is a 10-year-old boy, has been in the fourth grade, in the morning when the alarm rang, he was urged by his mother to get up quickly, and he was disliked by his mother when he dressed, and the way to button the button was wrong. Eating breakfast was disliked by the mother to eat slowly, after school into the door ass did not sit hot, and asked the homework finished?
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Xiao Ren was very annoyed with his mother's behavior, so he worked against his mother, and in the morning his mother told him to get up, and he didn't think about it, and the slower he ate breakfast, the more he procrastinated, and he almost killed his mother.
In life, such a parent-child relationship of love and killing abounds. Are you such a mom too? Are you, also like Xiao Ren's mother, talking in a hurry, often urging the child to hurry up, doing things, and often picking the child's fault?
Xiao Ren, why do you hate your mother's behavior? Because the mother wants him to be able to do it, the task that a normal child can accomplish. But what does a normal child look like in the minds of many parents?
In fact, many parents believe that normal children will wake up consciously as soon as the alarm clock rings, and they will not lie in bed at all; they do not have to bother to feed themselves when eating breakfast, and children can eat breakfast smoothly.
But in reality, after the alarm clock sounds, their children often lie in bed, sometimes accompanied by getting up, eating slowly, and procrastinating to do homework.
Parents think that normal children can listen carefully to lectures in class and do not desert; in reality, when children go to school, it is common to have poor concentration in class, and when class is close to noon, their minds are focused on lunch.
Every day with the child to wrestle wits and courage, in the game and quarrel to spend, so, now parents sigh: as soon as the child goes to school, accompanied by a homework, not only the blood pressure rises, the palm is also easy to break.
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@ Bao Mama uses clever tricks, psychological research believes that the reason why parents are so anxious and uncontrollable, a very important reason is that there is such a "normal child" in the minds of parents, and their children are in a very backward and problematic situation compared with this "normal child". Therefore, parents are anxious, panicked, and try every means to hope that their children will embark on a "normal" development path.
In fact, the behavior that parents are not accustomed to is just a very normal phenomenon. Most of the children's problems are parents' problems, and to change this cycle, we must start by changing our own cognition.
On the road of child growth, we must follow human nature, trust the child, and give him or her the opportunity to trial and error. Most people, by the standards of adults, require children. In the child's cognition, he cannot understand the adult world. This requires parents to have more patience, to explore cognition for their children, and to constantly try and make mistakes before he realizes that what is right and what is wrong is wrong.
On the way to children's growth, parents can lower their expectations, avoid emotional anxiety, and hurt the body. Because the child grows up, it is the problem is continuous, the trouble is continuous, all the normal mind is treated, the problem is just normal, and the problem is just abnormal. Only in this way can we avoid negative emotions, hurt ourselves, and hurt our children.