If you want a man to love you deeply, pleasing is not a good idea, and pleasing is not a good way, this, no matter who you are with, you must remember.
Because, if we are used to pleasing men, or are used to pleasing men, then over time, we will unconsciously be in a disadvantaged position in the relationship between the sexes.
There is a Matthew effect in psychology, which refers to the stronger the stronger, the weaker the weaker.
Implemented in the relationship between the sexes, we can understand it like this: if the woman's position is in a disadvantageous position at the beginning, then the more it develops, the lower the woman's status will be, so that the woman's posture is low, the man will naturally not look up to her, will not look up, how can he care?
Therefore, pleasing and pleasing women is nothing more than digging their own graves, and for women, it is also harmful and unproductive.
In the relationship between the sexes, you want to let the man love you deeply, without pleasing and pleasing, understand this truth.
A man's love will always depend on the scarcity of the woman herself
American psychologist Roland Miller once mentioned in "Intimate Relationship" that the most basic assumption of attraction and love between people is that the other party has a rewarding meaning for us.
That is to say, we are only willing to establish an intimate relationship with the other person when we think that the appearance of the other party is good for us, or when the appearance of a person can allow us to get some positive emotional value, or when we feel that some value in the other person is worthy of our continued deep friendship.
Just like when we do something, the more rewarded we are, the more attractive it is to us, and we naturally want to do it.
If we feel from the outset that this event is of little value to our reward, that is, that the appearance of a person has no positive emotional value for us, then we will not be attracted from the heart.
For a woman, what she can make a man produce positive emotional value is her own value, and the more scarce and irreplaceable a woman's value is, the more attractive it is for men.
Women understand that investing in themselves is the thing with the highest rate of return
The heroine in the TV series "Women's Gang" is a housewife, she is very insecure about her marriage, and always feels that her husband will betray her, so their marriage is often accompanied by suspicion and quarrels.
Later, she stopped putting her energy into these things and began to invest in herself, to skin care, to change her hairstyle, to run, to learn new things.
Slowly, she is no longer the yellow-faced woman who does not comb her head, wash her face, and does not trim the edges, she has completed the transformation in the process of investing in herself, she has become elegant and charming, and when she walks on the road, even if she has reached middle age, she can still harvest a high return rate.
In the past, it was the woman who was worried that her husband would betray herself, but now, it is the husband who is worried that the woman will be robbed, so you see, the difference between investing in yourself and not investing in yourself presents a very different result.
Actor Ma Yili said at the award ceremony: "Women don't live to please others, they have to live for themselves, everyone has only one first half of their life, bravely love, to struggle, to make mistakes, but must grow." ”
Therefore, women should understand that instead of pleasing and pleasing men, it is better to please themselves, after all, investing in themselves is the highest rate of return in the world.
If you bloom, the breeze will come
01), there is a person who has a horse, but this horse is very untamed, has always wanted to run outside, this person chased for a long time can not catch up, but made himself exhausted.
Later, he changed his ways, no longer chasing the horse, but began to raise flowers, plant grass, let himself have some capital, and when the grass grows and the warblers fly in the next year, the flowers bloom and the grass is very luxuriant, at this time, this person does not need to chase the horse anymore, because the horse will come back by itself.
And even if the horse didn't come back, there was no need to worry, because there were other horses who heard about it.
Therefore, when we want to make a man like himself, pleasing and pleasing is never a good policy, because the gentleness of uselessness is the cheapest, men are very realistic, pleasing and pleasing may make them move, but they will never let them love someone deeply, because no one will give the most sincere feelings to a person who has no value.
02), therefore, based on this, we should understand that it is good to go to school, to travel, to make money, to improve their abilities, in short, the soul and body at least one is on the road.
For us, make a living and then make love, so that we will not lower our posture to the dust in a relationship because we feel unworthy of others.
When we have a certain value, that is, if you bloom and the breeze comes, the love you want will naturally meet unexpectedly.