1, I drove the BMW x5 home, the home is slightly hidden, my wife is taking a bath in the bathroom. At this time, the wife held out a head and said: "Husband, you are back, there is no shower gel, you rush."

1, I drove the BMW x5 home, the home is slightly hidden, my wife is taking a bath in the bathroom. At this time, the wife held out a head and said: "Husband, you are back, there is no shower gel, you hurry downstairs to help me buy it, cold me." "Before I took off my shoes, I ran downstairs to a good and many supermarkets, bought a bottle of 58 yuan Shufujia, and took a package of 28 yuan soft Chinese by the way." Cashier: "A total of 86 yuan." Me: "You do the math again." Cashier: "It's 86, that's right." Me: "If you do the math carefully, it's not good to wait until you're wrong." Cashier: "Sir, really 86." "Then I gave the cash register 100 and she found me 86!

2. It is said that men and women are equal, so why not treat them differently. Today, Ah Cheng and a beautiful female colleague were late, and when the manager disciplined her, she spat out her tongue at the manager. The manager's heart softened at once, and he said: Forget it this time, you are not allowed to be late next time. When Ah Cheng arrived, his female colleague also threw up his tongue, and the manager yelled: Are you a dog?

3. When I was still in school, there was an English test that I couldn't do at all. I wanted to copy the answer of the girl next to me, but the girl was meditating. In order to copy the answers, I could not reveal my own purpose and also turned on contemplative mode. After a long time I couldn't stand it, and I saw that the girl was still meditating. I thought I had missed the opportunity to copy, so I started scribbling myself. Finally, the girl happily began to pick up my answers.

4. At a training organized by the company, the leader shared a good way to reduce stress. When encountering something that is very difficult to make a decision, first close your eyes, slowly inhale and exhale, from once every five seconds to once every 10 seconds, and demonstrate it on the spot. When I opened my eyes, I saw that my colleagues around me were already snoring, and this method really worked well to reduce stress. "

5, cousin older single dog, through the introduction of a girl, talked for half a year, engagement began to put on the agenda. A few days ago with the girl to see the grandparents, sat for a while, the cousin found that the grandfather's refrigerator is old, special electricity, he ordered to buy a new one. When the refrigerator arrived, the grandparents laughed and blossomed! I asked my cousin if this after-sales question was the same as buying it in a physical store! The cousin replied attentively: Yes, yes, this refrigerator is an old brand, the quality has nothing to say, the after-sales service is also particularly good, they can also apply for a six-year warranty gold card! Grandparents are happier, busy let the cousin apply, the cousin picked up the phone while taking pictures and said: Well, I will apply, the refrigerator can be warranted for six years, I don't have to say it, I don't know if you two can live to that time!

6. My uncle has studied graduate school and is a famous "show talent" in the village. "Our neighbors in the village, whoever has a baby and a name, ask their uncle for help." The name given by the uncle to the baby is really good, and it sounds good and has a meaning, the key is that the name is completely free, saying that after the baby meets and shouts the third grandfather on the line. A few days ago, my uncle used to have a group of classmates, came to the village to find my uncle to reminisce, along the way found, a lot of bare-chested boys, and their namesake ...

7, a new Porsche 4s store to do activities, see the sales girl inside looks particularly beautiful, I went in and turned around. I pretended to look at the car, then stared at her and asked, "How much is this car?" She rolled her eyes and said, "About 6.88 million." Me: "Can I wholesale?" She began to laugh flatteringly: "How many do you want to buy?" Me: "I want to give the group executives one, thirty units are in stock?" She: "There are not so many spot spots, but we can..." Before she could finish, I immediately answered: "But what, but what, the spot is not enough, still want to do big business?" "Then I walked away without looking back!"

8, the girlfriend's father likes to fish, participated in a fishing competition and won the championship, taking 800,000 prize money. The girlfriend used the money to open a nail salon, and the business was very good. On Sundays, I went to my girlfriend's shop to do manicures. After returning home, the uglier I looked, and at night the ugly couldn't sleep! I picked up my phone and sent a voice to my girlfriend: Sister, have you slept? I can't sleep ugly! Alas, such an ugly nail art actually cost me 89! Did I do a lonely mo?

9, the brother-in-law accidentally died in a traffic accident, the insurance company lost more than 1 million insurance money, ? A few days later, a distant old watch called, ? looking for the sister to borrow 100,000 yuan to turn around, the sister said that there was no money, all spent, the other party said: 10,000 is also OK. The sister thought about it, hung up the phone, and then she talked to us about this matter, ? She didn't even know what the old watch looked like, if this is lent out, it is not equivalent to giving it to him

10. When I go to school, the top ten and the bottom ten of the exam are called to the podium respectively. One time the results came down, I was confused. The tablemate touched me: it's you. When I arrived, I had good grades and knew that I had been groomed. At this point, it will be more passive, so I will hide behind. Then the teacher began to praise, and for every time he praised, he laughed at the following. The teacher wiped his head until he saw me!

11. Do not disturb, the male guest came out and began to introduce himself: "I deal with the land all day!" In an instant the lights went out six. Male guest: "I don't have a stable high salary!" Then the lights went out eight more. Male guest: "I'm not going to buy a house yet!" Finally, the lights were all out. The host hurried to round the field: "I think a lot of people look down on our peasant brothers and think of them

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