I found that my sister-in-law secretly added my WeChat, and I reported to my daughter-in-law for the first time, and I said, "You see, this is not your sister's trumpet!" The daughter-in-law looked at it carefully and nodded. Then

I found that my sister-in-law secretly added my WeChat, and I reported to my daughter-in-law for the first time, and I said, "You see, this is not your sister's trumpet!" The daughter-in-law looked at it carefully and nodded. At this time, the message came over: "Brother, this is my trumpet, don't let my sister know, we will contact here later." Without waiting for me to speak, she said: "First transfer me 8,000 yuan, I will use it urgently, and I will return to you for benefits." The daughter-in-law saw the situation and directly grabbed my mobile phone and sent a voice: "Can you order a face, can you order a face, and you must pry my corner?" She quickly wrote back to you: "Brother, I misread you!" "Cut, I'm not at all wrong.

2. Today in the subway car at work, I saw a five-dollar ticket on the ground, and I guess who dropped it. I stepped on it and tried to pick it up when there were fewer people, and I had money for breakfast! I waited until the last stop where the money was finally mine. When I arrived at the company and found that I was late, I was so clever that I called the group leader and said, "Lead, I have a stomachache tomorrow, can I take a half-day off?" The group leader said, "If you know your stomach pain tomorrow, I can help you with the resignation procedures." ”

3. The sister-in-law looks very lolita, but her profession is a forensic doctor. Yesterday we were eating at a restaurant, and I don't know what happened to the sister-in-law and the lady boss quarreled. As soon as the lady boss got angry, she took out an unwashed pig intestine from the back kitchen and threw it on the sister-in-law, wanting to evil her. I saw that the sister-in-law calmly took out a skeleton model from the bag, tied it with a pig's large intestine, and picked it up and whistled. Not to mention the lady boss, even the one-meter-nine boss was scared to go under the table.

4. The mother-in-law failed to obtain contraception and successfully became pregnant, and the wife returned to her mother's house to take care of her. I couldn't cook at home alone, so I ran downstairs to buy sweet potatoes. The stall owner took a large one and weighed it 10 pieces. I said it was too big to eat, and I thought it was too expensive. Then the stall owner weighed a medium, 5 pieces. I asked: Is there anything smaller? Then the stall owner broke it and handed it to me halfway, and said: Forget it, please eat well, just when I am hungry.

5. My cousin grew up in the palm of his hand by his aunt and uncle, so he was particularly mischievous. Once, when he had done something wrong, his uncle couldn't bear to beat him up. My cousin cried: Wait until I grow up! As soon as my uncle heard: I have turned against you, what do you want to do when you grow up? My cousin continued to cry and say, "When I grow up, I'll have a son too, and then beat him up!"

6. My wife is a native of Beijing and has never been to the countryside. But my wife often told me that the air in the city was not as fresh as in the countryside. Today I took her back to her rural hometown to feel the fresh rural air and see the small animals by the way. The wife covered her mouth and nose, as if she was not quite comfortable. I asked: How does it feel to be in the countryside? The wife pinched her nose and said: Besides the pigsty, is there any other place where you can feel the rural atmosphere?

7. When the elderly uncle went to the bank to make money, the salesman said: "Uncle, what can I do to help you?" Uncle said, "I want a loan, my son is getting married, I have to buy him a house!" Salesman: "How much do you plan to borrow?" "Uncle: "1 million, 30 years!" Salesman: "Uncle, we can't lend you money here, judging from your ID card, you are already 73 years old this year, and we are worried that you will not live to pay off the loan one day!"

8. Colleagues accidentally knocked a sister down at work in the morning, quickly got out of the car and rushed over, saw that the sister looked very beautiful, and the colleague said: Rest assured that I will raise you for a lifetime. The girl looked up at her colleague's face, stubbornly got up from the ground and said: I'm fine, you hurry up. Looking at the limping figure of his sister, he couldn't help but sigh in his heart: A good person has a peaceful life! #Funny# #搞笑段子 #