1． Dad had long felt that my son didn't look like me, and eventually hid it from me and took my son to do DNA, which showed that the grandfather and grandson did not have a half-cent relationship. The wife cried to the death and was willing to live

1． Dad had long felt that my son didn't look like me, and eventually hid it from me and took my son to do DNA, which showed that the grandfather and grandson did not have a half-cent relationship. The wife cried to death and was willing to prove her innocence with death. So, I personally did a DNA test with my son, and the results showed that the two were father and son. Then my dad and I went for DNA testing, and it turned out that we didn't have a half-cent relationship. The old mother cried to death and was willing to prove her innocence with death. So, I did a DNA test with my mother, and the results showed that we were also not related to half a cent. Excluding genetic mutations, there is only one possibility in the hospital to hold the wrong child. Overnight our family rushed to the hospital where I was born. The old nurse flipped through the yellowed paper file and finally said that there was only one boy born that day and at the same time as me, called xxx. My wife was stunned, and so was I. Carefully checked all the information of the little boy, and finally determined that the little boy was the wife's "brother". The wife trembled and called her father-in-law and mother-in-law and her "brother-in-law." Her "brother" was abducted to do DNA testing with my father and mother," and I was abducted to do DNA testing with my father-in-law and mother-in-law. The results showed that my father-in-law and mother-in-law had a father-son mother-son relationship, and my wife and brother-in-law and my parents had a father-son mother-son relationship. In other words, my wife is my own sister, and I am my wife's brother. But we are brothers and sisters, and the children are the products of close relatives, so why is there nothing unusual? In the end, I had to do another DNA test with my wife. The test results showed that the two did not have a half-cent relationship. Fortunately, my wife is not my own sister. I'm not my wife's brother either. so...... Who the hell is she? With doubt, I looked at my father-in-law's mother-in-law's biological parents. The wife was very excited, and tearfully forced the two old men to ask who they were. The biological father said, "You... I actually picked it up from the garbage heap. ”

2． The brother-in-law and his sister were engaged and bought a new house in Tomson' Best, which was 100,000 yuan. Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law transferred 100,000 yuan to her brother-in-law with Alipay the next day. So the brother-in-law bought a house of 1800,000, and also bought 2 large toy pigs wrapped in bamboo charcoal, and put them on the sofa to absorb formaldehyde. One day, Dad and Mom came to visit the house. The second elder sat on the sofa drinking tea, and his mother suddenly asked: "This new house has formaldehyde, have you put anything to suck it?" Need to buy greenery? The brother-in-law said without hesitation: "Yes, there are two pigs sitting on the sofa helping to take drugs..."

3. After graduating from a prestigious university, I was recruited to work as a teacher at a university of science and technology. Played a friendly competition with other colleges, and there was a young male teacher on the other side. The young man is quite handsome, a bit like a star, but the ball skills are not good. I gave him a heel in a fake move, and a dragon landed on the basket. As a result, the girls on the sidelines shouted at me: Play Lai! Hit people with the ball! It sounded again: So old still learn to play, evil Xin is dead! When I looked back, it was a student of our college.

4. At seven o'clock in the evening, the iron pillar has been off work for an hour, and it is still wandering in front of the door, not daring to enter the door. He stood at the door of the house, thinking about his wife's eager eyes, and he was even more hesitant. Listening to the sound of his wife cutting vegetables made him even more frightened. Finally, the iron pillar hardened its scalp, strengthened its courage, and slammed open the door. I heard him shouting loudly at his wife: Wife, it's too hot at noon today, I spent an extra dollar!

5. I was going on a blind date a few days ago, and because of my experience, I let my eldest brother, who was married to a daughter-in-law who was eight years younger than me, lead me. After that, as soon as we sat down and hadn't started ordering something, all three of us were stunned. The girl across from me turned out to be the daughter-in-law of the eldest brother, and the eldest brother's face at that time was self-aware. When I asked, I knew that the girl who was going to come was the girlfriend of the eldest brother's daughter-in-law, but after seeing the photo, I felt that the man was too ugly, and I was embarrassed to refuse, so I promised the eldest brother's daughter-in-law to buy her a lipstick, which came to go

7. The chairman of the board of directors specially cut the door, often let us work overtime and do not give overtime pay. Last night, the chairman of the second child Xi Tian Guizi invited guests to dinner, after drinking and eating, the chairman asked everyone: At the door of the delivery room, the doctor came out and told me that after my wife had given birth, what did my brother say in a word? What everyone else said was: Son or daughter? Only drunk me, especially loudly said: Is it dead or alive!

9. Today my aunt is a guest at home.

My aunt's family is working in other places, and we haven't seen each other for a long time.

After seeing me, he boasted vigorously: "This child has grown so tall!" ”

Oops, the first time someone praised me, I was shy.

Then she said, "It grows so fast like a dung!" ”

aunt! Is there such a thing as a compliment!

10. The newly proposed BMW M2 was borrowed by my brother-in-law to go on a business trip, so I had to take the bus with my wife to work. After work at noon, my wife and I squeezed into the bus along the crowd, and my wife chose a position to lean against the window. I said to her: Honey, your face is like a peach! The wife is shy: pink and pink? Me: No, look at the hair on your face in the sunlight!

11． After my mother-in-law got her driver's license, I spent $180,000 to buy her a Haval H7. Yesterday my mother-in-law drove out to run an errand and called me in a short while. Mother-in-law: "Son-in-law, I have a car accident, you hurry up!" I asked, "Is responsibility for the accident determined?" The mother-in-law said: "Sure, it is the responsibility of one party, and I am fully responsible." Curious, I asked, "Really?" Why is the other party not responsible at all? The mother-in-law said, "Because the other party is a thirty-year-old locust tree." ”

12． On this day, my wife was sent abroad by the boss to study for two days, and I suddenly felt that the whole person became brisk. I was looking for my brothers to touch two mahjong, but my father-in-law came and said he would invite me to drink. There was no way, I could only greet him first, I couldn't drink his old wine worm at all, and after a while I was on my head and lying on the table in a bad way. In the confusion, I suddenly heard the voice of his phone call: "Daughter, the task is complete."

#Funny Scene of the Year # #搞笑 #