As the saying goes: poor children, rich women. However, how can a daughter be raised to be rich? This is a headache for many parents. In general, girls have a gentle personality and appear more calm than the impatience and temperament of boys. However, if girls form the habit of procrastination and rubbing, it will affect the formation of children's good character, what should they do as parents of children?
There is such a story: Zhang Mengmeng, who is in the third grade this year, is a girl who loves to procrastinate in everything, such as being late for class, not punctual, and likes to spend a lot of time completing a trivial matter.
The more Mom and Dad urged, the more she rubbed and could figure out many reasons. For example, in the case of homework, she can find a lot of excuses for grinding. It's either "homework is too hard and you have to think about it", or "you have to drink some water when you are thirsty" and so on. Once her parents reminded her, there would be an argument between the two parties, which became an excuse for not being able to complete everything, and sometimes the parents had to give in. Girl procrastination is indeed a headache for many parents, like Zhang Mengmeng is one of many girls who love to procrastinate. However, parents nagging and blaming all day long does not change their children. In fact, rubbing is not the nature of girls, and the habit of rubbing is gradually formed. It should be said that it is precisely because of the long-term chattering urging of parents. For example, "eat quickly", "see you talk several times, go to bed immediately" and so on, such a urging from parents is just easy to form a girl's stubborn personality, and this vicious circle is especially easy to occur in the home of impatient parents.
Once the child has the habit of procrastination and rubbing, parents should try like this: 1. Let the daughter taste the pain of procrastination.
"Get up, this is the last time I'll call you!" The daughter "um" and "good" agreed, but there was no movement. "Hurry up, it's going to be late!" You see you don't know to hurry!"
If the parents were responsible for getting the girls up every morning, there was no doubt that the girls would wait until their parents repeatedly urged them to get up from bed lazily, because they knew from past experience that the adults would continue to urge them to get up and would not make them late.
We often take on too much responsibility for girls. The parents of girls who procrastinate and rub things like to make arrangements for girls.
And the best way is to let the girl face the consequences of her behavior, such as the result of the girl lying in bed is too late to eat breakfast or late to school, the result of procrastination in doing homework is to go to bed late and the next day is not mentally good. A mother was distressed because of the girl's bed, and every day she had to urge her to get up, and one day she finally couldn't help but lose her temper and asked her daughter angrily: "I can't stand it, if you become the girl's mother in the future, what will you do?" Who knew that her daughter slowly replied to her: "Mom, if I were a mother, I wouldn't care about her." Sleeping late, going to school late naturally has school rules and the teacher will deal with it. ”
The girl's statement is precisely in line with the concept of modern education, which is the so-called "natural result of action".
2. Make a rule for your daughter. The parents of a 12-year-old girl were worried that their daughter was free and loose, often haggling over her parents' demands, and her academic performance was at the bottom of the class. The couple are both university teachers, how can they not understand, the daughter's IQ is really not low, why will it become such a "poor student" who can not be taught well? Through inquiry, it was found that the couple's educational concept is absolutely open, the daughter grew up in a free atmosphere, the parents have almost no rules for her, the girl wants to do what the parents are obedient, occasionally, they will also put forward some requirements for the daughter, such as remembering some of their own belongings, not allowed to watch too much of their own TV, etc. But these rules could not withstand the daughter's quarrels and were greatly discounted, until the girl was about to graduate from junior high school, and the parents were amazed: How did this child become so bad?!
"No rules, no squares", this is a well-known truth, girls need adults to give them a clear concept of right and wrong, put forward clear rules for them, so that they understand the social norms on which they live, and gradually get rid of the vice of procrastination. The following questions need to be considered in making rules for girls: (1) Do you agree on rules with girls before making them, and do girls approve of these rules? (2) Do parents agree on the rules they have made? Only when parents are consistent with the girl's requirements is it conducive to making the rules into the behavior habits of the girls. (3) Is it practical? If the girl is very procrastinating in doing homework, it is impractical to tell the girl that she is not allowed to eat without doing her homework; And let her understand that if she does not finish her homework before eating, she must continue to do it after eating, otherwise she is not allowed to watch TV, which is practical.
(4) Is it specific? Is it concise? The rules for girls must be a specific behavior, not a broad or general concept, such as "you must be a good child" is an abstract concept, "go to bed before 9 o'clock every day" is a specific action indicator, with this rule, parents do not have to nag every day "eat fast, it's almost 7 o'clock", "you don't have time to draw", etc., you just need to make your daughter clear, do everything before 9 o'clock, and then go to bed, so that You don't have to find a way to teach your daughter a lesson every time she breaks a small rule. 3. Don't repeat the same requirement too much.
"Lingling, it's time to go to bed." The mother constantly urged her daughter. But LingLing didn't seem to hear it and continued to watch her favorite TV series. "Go to sleep, I'll go to school tomorrow." Ling Ling ignored her mother's request. "Lingling, you can only watch for 5 minutes at most."
But 10 minutes passed, and Ling Ling still did not move.
Xiang Ming was obviously trained to not abide by the time regulations, and her mother said that Xiang was mostly there, but Jing did not really supervise Ling Ling to execute. For the mother who talks too much, Lulu has a conclusion: the mother's rules can not be enforced, because not listening to the mother's words has not left any consequences. In our lives, we often hear these "nagging" from our parents: "Hurry up!" If you don't eat again, I'll dump your meal. "I've told you several times, why haven't you moved?" Hurry up and go to bed!" These incessant and ineffective urges make the girl become indifferent to her parents' words, no matter how serious or serious.
Some parents say that if they don't nag, girls can't do anything well. They may not be very patient, but they are happy to discipline girls, and they are not strict when disciplined, and as a result, this kind of nagging can greatly weaken the girl's initiative.
The right thing to do is: parents don't repeat the same request too much; Once the request is made, girls must be supervised and the results of their implementation checked.