The original intention of writing this article is because I have been paying attention to the topic of domestic violence, at the same time, the Jiang Ge case has also been frequently searched on Weibo recently, and I have recently been frequently exposed to some cases of domestic violence in my feelings, and the last straw that crushed me was a sentence that one of my cases said to me, "Eggshell, he was very good to me when he didn't hit me", so today I want to explore such a thing well.
Many people think that domestic violence is far away from you, but in my opinion, domestic violence can happen to anyone, and the next person to be abused may be you. But when this day comes, you may be dazed and ignorant, because you don't think that this person around you who talks sweetly to you and calls your baby may become your nightmare in the near future. Let me first talk about the process of my case (in order to protect her, I will only use "she" to describe)
She and her boyfriend acquaintance is actually very ordinary, is a classmate, and then one day after looking at each other, just together, and then the two people in the beginning of the relationship are very plain and smooth, can even be called sweet feelings, the only uncoordinated place is that the boy's personality will be relatively impatient, easy to do things impatient, emotionally when breaking a cup and breaking a bowl, she first did not have too much attention, and later, with the deepening of emotions, the time of communication between the two people became longer, When we are about to talk about marriage, the violent tendency of boys is gradually reflected, from the first pull, to the slap in the back, to the punch and kick after drinking too much. Then she couldn't stand it, but because the boy's performance in front of people was very gentle, and her parents liked it, she didn't want to say that the marriage date of the two people was coming, and she should be ready to do it slowly, she was very entangled, and only came to see me.
She said to me: Eggshell, I really don't know what to do, I have spent several years in this relationship, if separated, I don't know if I have the courage to start another relationship, and the family has begun to notify relatives, but I really don't want to get married.
I said: Then don't get married, what else do you want to see?
She said: He was very good to me when he didn't hit me.
In order to comply with the wishes of the parties, I still looked at this combination, because I thought, in the future, if the boy gradually matures, he may be able to gradually get better? As a result, I was naïve. In fact, if these two people are married, they can last for a long time, and it will take more than five years, but the boy's emotions and the dispute between the two sides have not decreased. So I suggested that she look at the boy's personal life investigation, and found that part of the boy's personality came from his father, because the boy's father had died when the girl met the boy, so she did not find any clues until later.
I don't know how this case ended, because after she got this result, she didn't come back to me, and I don't know if she broke up or got married. If it is married, it is conceivable that the follow-up parties must be a pair of resentful couples. So with this, I want to talk about my thoughts on this matter.
Many people understand domestic violence, must have been exposed, you see the result of this matter, and then you will think, if you meet, you will definitely avoid or fight back, but when it actually happens, there will be a disparity between physical strength, and it is almost impossible to resist at the moment, and in the very beginning, maybe you do not feel that the person who hugs and kisses you every day is actually a cup of poison, their danger is covered by appearance, you love each other without knowing anything, get married, until one day like this girl, It has been paid a lot and cannot even end. Maybe you think that the time cost of the upcoming marriage negotiation is not enough for you to endure, so what if you have a child? What if you have two children? What if you don't have any money? What if you're in debt? What if your parents need this person very much? What if you need him too much? What if he has no flaws other than being able to beat you? ......
Don't have a fluke mentality, from the beginning to make psychological preparations, the astrolabe can check whether this has this violent tendency, you can also see whether his tendency can have a turn in the future, someone told me, many things are clear in their hearts, but do not dare to look at the astrolabe to verify, because they are afraid to look at it, their own world will be broken.
Eggshell says that if a person's world can be broken, it means that your current world itself is a vain castle in the air, and if you are still immersed in boundless fantasies and cannot wake up in time, then you are finished.
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I am the world's most understanding of your eggshell, more career emotional problems, one-on-one private poke me ~ ~