On the way home from work today, I met a father and son, the child was bouncing on the road, did not notice the stone pier next to the road, the father saw that it was too late to call him, the child was tripped by the stone pier, and his hands were bleeding.
Little C suddenly thought that there were two Band-Aids in his pocket, so he walked over to the child, just heard the father comforting the child, "Little Jay don't cry, we Little Jay is the best, this fall is because I didn't pay attention, we will not fall down next time", the father comforted the child while wiping tears, pasted the child With a Band-Aid and let the child say thank you to me.
Dad's behavior reminds me of what a host on a variety show said: "China has been talking about strict fathers and mothers for thousands of years." I look at the current fathers, one more gentle, paper towels, tears, generally all fathers. ”
Many fathers play the image of a loving father on the road of children's growth, and the children are friends, secretly comfort the children when the mother is fierce, give the child a broad chest, the child does not dare to say something to the mother when you can tell the father, the sky is falling, and the father is in, there is an old saying in China called: strict father and mother, and now many families' education methods have become loving mother and strict father.
Which combination is better for the child?
Professor Li Meijin believes:
"In fact, the best family education should be 'strict mother and loving father'.
Mothers should be strict and firm, and fathers should be rational and kind. ”
In families with sons, fathers must be "kind"
I once watched a variety show that interviewed a lot of ordinary fathers, and the questions asked were almost exactly the same: what kind of person is your father, and most people's answers are "severe".
A man said that his father left him with the deepest impression that he was not even a pig, and he beat him at every turn because he was disobedient, and now his relationship with his father is also average, and he rarely goes back to see his father.
His father's words of hatred for iron and steel made this man feel inferior for most of his life, and he felt that he was a waste for a long time, and he could not lift his head in front of colleagues and friends, and even felt that his existence was a mistake.
In fact, dad doesn't think that his words have any behavior, he just wants to educate the child, he also loves the child, but he does not use the right way.
Scientific research shows that the father's language violence is more profound than the mother's language violence on the child, the father's use of language violence against the child is likely to lead to the child's inferiority, and the child's relationship is estranged, and even some children go astray because of the language violence, want to retaliate against the parents.
In particular, some boys, from a young age, worship their fathers and feel that their fathers are right, and they will imitate their fathers' educational behavior and educate their children in this way in the future.
As a father, we must communicate emotionally with our children and understand their children's hearts, rather than blindly punishing their children and showing their strict father image.
Fathers who have daughters in the family are the same, to understand the child's emotional needs, to see the child's heart, to understand the child's needs, to know why the child makes mistakes to help the child correct, can not blindly punish the child, so that it will only be counterproductive, so that the child becomes rebellious.
In the process of educating children, mothers should be strict and determined
The impression that the mother gives the child is gentle and kind, and there is nothing wrong with the mother being gentle with the child, but the mother cannot be too gentle with the child, and the mother must have her own principles and bottom line.
Last week went to the sister's house, the sister's daughter Yuzu fought with other children downstairs, the little yuzu's head was scratched by the child, it was the little child who snatched the food of the little yuzu and hit the little yuzu, the sister let the child apologize to the little yuzu, the child's mother has been protecting her child, apologizing for the child to the sister and the little yuzu, and also gave 200 yuan for medical expenses.
When the sister came back to talk about this matter, she was very angry, saying that this mother would not discipline the child, and she would not be able to distinguish between right and wrong in this way, which was harming the child.
In fact, what the sister said is very reasonable, as a mother, you can be gentle with your child, but you must have your own principles, when the child does something wrong, you must tell the child that you are not doing it right.
Children will be close to the people who have always been tolerant of themselves, and they will also bully people who have always tolerated themselves, as a mother, to be principled, to be strict, not to spoil the child all the time, only in this way can we educate a good child.
To educate children, parents should have good cooperation, mothers should have their own principles, resolutely can not touch the principle of the problem, "strict" to the child, the father should give the child a chance to show himself, "kind" to the child, parents cooperate, the child can get a better education.
Children are the hope of every family, with the right method of education, do more with less, parents should join hands to educate children, with the most appropriate way to support the hope of the family.