Wen | Wen'er
Born in the countryside, I feel particularly kind to the dialects and sayings in the countryside, and I always feel that in that refined language, there are many philosophies of life and life insights.
No, I rushed to the market with my mother on new Year's Day holiday, saw her chatting with an acquaintance, and at the end, the old aunt sighed and said, "One child is not old, and two children have no home." Although I did not understand the specific meaning, I also understood that this sigh hid a lot of heartache and grievances.
Later, when I listened to my mother talk about the old man's experience, I understood the meaning of this sentence.
◆ "There is a child who is not old": the family has a son, and the parents dare not be old, nor can they be old
My mother said that this aunt had a son and a daughter in the family. The daughter married early and started a family, and the son has now graduated and started working.
In order to save money for their son's marriage, the old couple got up early and greedily entered the vegetable market, set up stalls, and sold vegetables. The family also raised a few pigs, and the rotten vegetable leaves that could not be sold became pig food, and throughout the year, the pigs could still earn two dollars.
My mother had advised her to rest and not to be so cruel to herself. Auntie said that she did not dare to relax, as soon as she relaxed her heart, she would get old, and then the illness would come. The son is not yet married, and their old couple cannot drag their feet.
I listened with great emotion. Now that the family has a son, in addition to saving money for the wedding for the son, he also has to save for the bride price and pay the down payment for the house. After the son becomes a family and has a baby, he will also help to take the baby non-stop.
When the children grow up little by little, the parents are almost old. But how can it be done to be idle at home? As long as the body is still acceptable, but also to do a part-time job, earn some money, prepare for their pension, no one wants to move in the future, become a burden for their sons.
For Chinese parents who always selflessly dedicate themselves to their children, it is not that they have sons at home, and they dare not grow old, nor can they grow old.
◆ "There are two children without a home": Because of the feeling that their parents are eccentric and have a gap, the two brothers are often incompatible with each other, which affects their parents
This is easy to understand. As the saying goes, "One monk carries water to drink, and two monks carry water to drink." We still tacitly accept that our sons are the main force for providing pensions to their parents. If there is a son in the family, the son has the responsibility to give his parents a pension, and he has to bear it no matter what.
But if there are two sons in the family, there are not a few who argue over the issue of parental pensions.
Some people are chilled because their parents have not brought a baby to this family, or feel that their parents are too partial to one of them and ignore the other, and their parents do not want to care when they are sick.
The son who is always pampered, because he has been pampered since childhood, is used to taking and not paying, and is very indifferent to his elderly parents.
Of course, there are parents' own reasons for this, there are two children, why not a bowl of water flat? But there is also humanity hidden in it. Human nature has always been "not suffering from widowhood but suffering from inequality". As a child, if the parent is always unconsciously biased toward another son, the neglected one is naturally unbalanced.
"One child is not old, and two children have no home", although this is not absolute, it also reflects some social phenomena to a certain extent.
Parents take responsibility from the moment the child is born, and the termination of responsibility does not occur when the child grows up at the age of 18. And the parents' own pension problems, should not always rely on their children, their own early plans, then will not be disappointed because of expectations.
【What do you think about that?】 】
Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comic articles.
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