Mr. Wang and Ms. Lin met through an introduction. And this introducer is me and Mr. Liu. Together, we felt that the conditions were quite appropriate: in addition to being widows, both sides also had three employed children. And one is B blood, one is A blood, there will be endless words together, never feel lonely, as an old companion is very good. From the perspective of the genus, it is a combination of Jia Baoyu and the attacking style. As for academic qualifications, they are all graduates of prestigious universities. It's just that the age gap between the two sides is a little bigger, and the man is ten years older than the woman. However, at this age, the older ten years old is not obvious at all, it is not a problem, not to mention that the man is the chief engineer, and in terms of ability and experience, he is better than the woman. In this way, this difference is balanced. Out of caution, I went to meet the man first. This Wang is always a Shanghainese, very Sven in appearance, and a more talkative person. He had just returned from a part-time job in Shenzhen, so he talked endlessly about his part-time work experience and what he had seen in Shenzhen. The whole meeting process is basically him talking, and the topic is centered on himself. I secretly compared them. Ms. Lin is not the kind of person who is reticent, but she rarely picks the topic herself, and in her own words, she will feel very tired if she wants to pick the topic herself. However, she is very understanding, understanding, and often has a comment in one sentence. And her appearance, in the words of a painter, "can be seen, when she was young, she was good-looking." In short, these two should be a good match in terms of appearance and quality. So they met under the careful planning of the two of us.
Things went more smoothly than both of us expected. They fell in love at first sight and hit it off. Soon, they shrugged off our two matchmakers and took action on their own. Soon after, they went to get a marriage license. Later, according to their own confessions, it was only a month before and after. Life after marriage is a blessing. They often go in and out of pairs, and they talk and laugh together. According to Ms. Lin's son, "The relationship between mom and Wang looks better than that of dad." "Ms. Lin and her ex-husband Mr. Wu were both transferred to our school from the Academy of Sciences of a certain province. This Mr. Wu is obsessed with scientific research, so it is inevitable that he will ignore the people around him. Ms. Lin herself told me a typical example: one day after dinner, they walked along the quiet street, tired of walking, Ms. Lin sat down by the side of the road to rest, and Mr. Wu continued to walk forward. He was probably immersed in contemplation of a subject, waiting to fold back
When he passed by Ms. Lin's side, he actually turned a blind eye and walked over to himself. When Madam Lin saw this, she quickly stood up and followed up, and said with disgust: "Why did you forget me?" He probably also said that Ms. Lin was not a person of the same level as him.
All these have invisibly hurt Ms. Lin's feelings. So, when Mr. Wu died of illness and I went to visit her, she didn't say a few words of mourning and mentioned remarriage. This surprised me.
Wang should not ignore her, he needs to express at any time, so he needs a listener at any time. But since Mr. Wang is a self-centered person who talks, this is often the case in life. What's more, their life field is dominated by Wang Zong's family. Therefore, many things were transferred to Wang Zong, and Wang Zong himself had the final say. Arguably, neglect has emerged in another form.
Mr. Wu is somewhat indifferent to the existence of Ms. Lin, and although Wang Zong cares about Ms. Lin's existence, he ignores her will, wishes, and feelings. In the new marriage relationship, Ms. Lin's feelings were hurt again. "He doesn't care about people, he's selfish." Ms. Lin said. But these are just discordant sounds in this seemingly happy marriage, and they are not enough to play a role in disintegrating. What is more interesting is that Mr. Wang feels good about himself. He was unaware of Ms. Lin's inner activities and emotional changes.
This person, who is very sensitive to matter and can often accurately say the texture, material, and price of goods, is very insensitive to people, and ignorant of people's qualities, personalities, and especially feelings.
Things are gradually moving in a bad direction. Finally, seven years later, their marriage was in crisis. Of course, it is not easy for the elderly to remarry for seven years.
The trigger for Ms. Lin's divorce is just a trivial matter of life, but the root cause is economic. "I'm unemployed." Mr. Wang said. His work unit was sluggish, although he was the chief engineer and earned only five hundred yuan a month. After retirement, he has been working outside the home with his skills and good professional reputation, and he has been paid well. At the age of seventy, the company he worked for collapsed, and he lost his second career. He tentatively asked Ms. Lin if she could properly pay a little living expenses. "Oh, I actually have to pay for living expenses!" Ms. Lin reacted strongly, and she was obviously not mentally prepared for this.
She grew up poor, fed up with poverty, always cared a lot about money, lived very frugally, and often bargained with vegetable vendors for a dime or two. She felt that she had paid a lot in this family, no less than a nanny, and the nanny had to pay her salary. "No money to please any wife!" This very vulgar sentence actually came out of her mouth as a university teacher. The words hurt very much,
It especially hurts men's self-esteem. Wang Zong listened but was speechless. He didn't blame her, only his own incompetence. Ms. Lin not only boycotted verbally, but also put it into action. She filed for divorce. Wang Zong seemed to have been suddenly attacked, completely overwhelmed.
In those days, he suddenly aged a lot. Under Ms. Lin's repeated insistence and urging, Wang Zong reluctantly, but also out of the man's self-esteem, agreed to her request against his heart. When they went through the formalities, the office staff said to them: "What a match, why break up?" "Yeah, until the end, they were also considered matched. After completing the formalities, Ms. Lin silently packed up her things and prepared to leave. Probably not wanting to go back to the same roof as her son and daughter-in-law—the little two's unit had no housing, they had been living in the house assigned to her by the school--, and she suddenly made an unexpected request: "Can I not leave?" Probably out of pity for her future situation, but it must be because she was reluctant to give up, And Wang replied to her: "If you still have any nostalgia for this place, you can stay." From then on, they dissolved the marriage contract, dissolved their duties and obligations, and re-established the relationship in a free, i.e., lover's way. Of course, this relationship is much looser, especially for Ms. Lin. She is now free to come and go. If you are happy, you can live for many days; when you are unhappy, you will walk for several months, and you will not even give a message, and you will disappear without a trace. Mr. Wang often spent his days waiting, waiting bitterly for her to appear, waiting bitterly for a few meals with her, playing a few games of chess, and scattering a few steps. "Her IQ is not low, and sometimes she can beat me." He told me. But, after all, the divorce was like a knife, and in the hearts of the two, especially in the hearts of Wang Zong, it was fiercely and fatally drawn. So at every turn, resentment will come out. Gone are the original harmonious, tolerant and understanding relationships. The most serious one caused Ms. Lin to leave abruptly and find twilight love again. How long did her twilight love last? Half? A year? I have no way of verifying it, so I don't know. Anyway, she returned to Wang Zong, and told Wang Zong that among the men she had come into contact with, except for Mr. Wu, Wang Zong had the best temperament. This praise gave Wang Zong great comfort, he did not blame in the past, but also accepted her again.
Later, Ms. Lin's son's family immigrated to Canada, and she finally fully owned her own house. So, Wang Zong, she went less and less. "She also came to ask me for help." If Ms. Lin does not show up for a long time, Mr. Wang will call me. His phone call was nothing more than two: complaining about Ms. Lin and praising his three filial sons and daughters. As for me,
Never volunteered to call him. Their practice of dragging mud and water, indecisiveness, and pulling silk and climbing vines is completely out of my nature.
I am advocating that Hui Jian cut through the emotions. Besides, I am against the system of lovers, against the timely pleasure, drinking doves to quench thirst. Another reason for not calling him is that I, a bystander, even if I can only learn about their situation intermittently and bit by bit, feel so tired and tired! Who will go to find the burden on their own? And are they tired themselves? The answer is yes: finally, one of them is tired, that is, Jia Baoyu, who is in a passive position and is subject to attacks everywhere, is tired. Mr. Wang had a heart attack and his life was in danger, and he was admitted to the hospital. After the doctors' full rescue and the meticulous care of his three children, Wang Zong turned the crisis into safety and gradually recovered. It's just that he has one more thing in his body: a pacemaker. In order to make Wang Zong forget About Madam Lin, his children can be said to be racking their brains and painstakingly, and they try to please him and satisfy him: renovate the house, take turns and uninterrupted to visit him, accompany him, and introduce him to him again. However, Wang Zongyi has a deep affection, and there is only Ms. Lin in his heart. He even vaguely revealed to me that if Ms. Lin planned to return to her hometown in Hunan, he would follow. I was so taken aback by this thought, I thought he was seriously ill, he should be fully enlightened, regard life as the most important thing, and indifferent to others, but the opposite is true. What he thought was that being lonely was just death, and being with her was also death, and it was better to die than to be addicted. Mr. Wang used to be a workaholic.
Once this kind of person is idle, the sense of loss is particularly strong. He can't do what he does now, but his brain and mouth are still very active, and he needs an audience. Without an audience, he truly felt the end of the world.
Wang Zong's illness was somewhat touched by Ms. Lin. She went to accompany him for a few days. However, the situation is one-sided and everything is a foregone conclusion. Income, housing, age, health, in any way, Ms. Lin has the advantage. Especially physically, Ms. Lin is in good health, flexible in her limbs, free to move, and she can go wherever she wants. After Wang's illness, he weakened a lot, spending most of his time at home and spending time watching TV. "I can recite the news of the day." He said so. Now people of his age are full of spirits and steady gaits. However, he was not only depressed, but also faltering, and it seemed that he could fall at any time. But his desire to go out is still strong. He not only went for a walk himself, but also took the bus himself. People have seen him as a man of the wind and candles. When he gets into the car, someone must give up his seat, and when he gets out of the car, someone must help him. However, Mr. Wang has another advantage: his popularity is strong. Therefore, the widowed Ms. Lin will occasionally come to the door, in addition to the old love, one is to dispatch loneliness, dialogue with him, and the other is to solve the problems in life and ask him for advice. Wang Zong did not dare to have the slightest slackness, lest she whisk her sleeves away. In order to show sincerity and reflect his own value, Wang Zong will personally come to the door to solve her problems. As a result, Ms. Lin's neighbors can sometimes see Wang Zong's trembling and majestic figure.
My daughter sometimes asks me, "What will happen to them in the future?" I replied, "No, it's like this: if you leave." Moreover, if this continues, the king may always fall ill, and even..."
Mr. Wang, you are really a child and a hero now. How I hope that you can liberate yourself, stop suffering from emotions, and go to life to find new support points. I don't think that romance is the patent of young people, and as long as it is handled properly, twilight love is equally beautiful and equally commendable. However, age and experience give us a rational, intelligent and open attitude towards the world, which also gives us more opportunities to win the respect and admiration of others and to establish our own dignity and prestige.
I am afraid that this is what we should pay more attention to while striving to satisfy our own desires.
![When you are old, if your wife takes a step first, do these three things well to be considered a blessed person[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)