Girls are generally precocious than boys, so girls often step into early love earlier than boys.
At eight o'clock this morning, a mother's anxiety and help on the Internet caused a heated discussion among netizens. She said:
"There is a little girl in the family who is thirteen years old, the first year of junior high school, and she began to fall in love early.
I am also a parent for the first time, and I don't know how to solve it. Come hard, afraid of the backlash; no matter what, and afraid of affecting learning, it is still okay to study in the class.
It's really hard to be a parent, and I don't know what to do. I also talked about it, and it felt like I was singing a monologue alone, and I didn't know if she listened to it or not. Has anyone come up with an idea for me on how to guide my child correctly, so that she can see clearly that the reality now is learning.
I feel like I'm an enlightened parent, but I don't know how my child can become like this. ”
The short text, however, explains the helplessness and anxiety of a mother. Yes, no one wants their children to delay their studies because of early love, and they don't want their daughters to ruin a beautiful life because of early love.
In this regard, some of the suggestions of netizens, Xi Xi's mother thinks it is really practical -
(1) Reverse thinking treats "distance produces beauty".
Some enthusiastic netizens commented: "Is it the boys in their own class?" If yes, go to the class teacher to transfer them to the same table, less than 100 days, promise to say goodbye. Distance produces beauty, and without distance there is no beauty. Don't ask me how I know, this is a great trick from the school psychology teacher. ”
Yes, children in adolescent love are often only confused by each other's advantages for a while. On weekdays, everyone is trying to show their strengths in front of each other, but they hide their shortcomings. But in fact, as long as the contact time is slightly longer, or the contact frequency is slightly higher, each other's shortcomings will be exposed, and contradictions will follow.
(2) Reflect on why your daughter fell in love early.
When the daughter has signs of early love, or has begun to fall in love early, many parents simply blame this on their daughter's disobedience and misconduct. But in fact, the daughter's early love is likely to be caused by family reasons.
In the first case, the relationship between the parents is not good, the daughter is often left out in the cold, and there is a serious lack of safety. In such a situation, if a person of the opposite sex has a little warm behavior towards the daughter, the daughter will be moved and fall into the vortex of early love.
In the second case, the parents prefer sons to daughters and do not care much about anything about their daughters. When growing up in an unattended environment for a long time, daughters' hearts are often lonely, so they often fall into early love earlier than other girls.
In the third case, parents are busy with work and think that raising a rich daughter is simply to meet the expenses that the child should have. It may be true that the child is not short of money under the wealth of his parents, but the more so, the more the child feels that he is lonely in his soul.
In the fourth case, parents only talk about learning and do not care about the child's other things. Back home, it is a high-pressure environment, parents open their mouths and shut up about grades, grades and learning, when children are often eager to escape, trying to release pressure in other places.
The reason why children fall in love early is not all the reason for children, as a parent, you actually have unshirkable responsibilities.
(3) Humorous treatment of "small paper strips".
In most people's concept, if their sons fall in love early, it is estimated that many parents will think that this is their son's ability. But if the daughter falls in love early, almost all parents will jump in a hurry, especially the fathers want to talk to each other about something.
In the comment area, some netizens mentioned: "Before learning, the video that was very popular, the daughter received a confession note from the little boy, but the father laughed and said that this is a small decoration on the road to growth." ”
Yeah, I've seen that video too. When the mother told her father that her daughter had received the boy's small note, the girl looked tense and extremely nervous, and even gently put down the dishes and chopsticks in her hand, as if she was ready to be criticized.
She originally thought that her father would be angry, but unexpectedly, her father laughed: "Oh my God, you still have the day you receive the little note, that means that you still have something worthy of appreciation by others." I have to call my mother to inform you, the old Li family stood up, hahaha. ”
When my mother reminded, "You must not talk about this?" Dad said, "Is this still called a thing?" This is the little decoration on the road to growing up. Hahaha..." With her father's laughter, the daughter was no longer nervous, and she picked up her rice bowl and ate calmly.
We have to admit that this dad's emotional intelligence is really high. Because of his witty treatment, in the days to come, the daughter will definitely listen carefully to the advice from her father in this regard.
(4) Let the daughter understand that it is normal to have a good feeling for the opposite sex.
Some netizens said: "I told my daughter that it is normal to like the opposite sex or be liked by the opposite sex." The human body grows from infancy to maturity, and then the human body begins to secrete a substance to attract the opposite sex, in preparation for adult reproduction. But we need to know what can and cannot be done. ”
Talking about sexual discoloration is still the main theme of many family education in this era. Before a daughter enters puberty, parents should give their children a good guide in this regard. If it is a daughter, it is generally the most appropriate for the mother as the main guide.
First of all, we have to let our daughter know how important it is to take care of her body. If you try it too early, it will not only affect your own physical development, but also often have the risk of early pregnancy. Secondly, we must let our daughter understand that it is absolutely impossible to stay at night, and at the same time, we must not be alone with the opposite sex in a closed or remote environment. Finally, take ten thousand steps back, even if you want to have sex, you must do a good job of contraception, if you find yourself pregnant, you must inform your parents at the first time, you must not hide it, and you cannot go to a small clinic for surgery.
(5) Intentionally or unintentionally let the daughter pay attention to women's health.
Some netizens said: "I often brush some videos about women's health. Once, when I was giving a lecture on uterine cancer, my daughter asked me how I could get this disease. I told her that girls should protect themselves and not fall in love too soon. She is 'scared to death', what is there to prevent AIDS, you can't mess with friends, make friends randomly. My daughter is very obedient and pays great attention to her own physical health! ”
I remember when I was a child, my mother never taught me to know my body, even the common sense about the menstrual period, but also after entering the first year of junior high school, the school organized the school doctor to popularize relevant knowledge to the daughter of the first year. Only then did I know that the original menstrual period came every month, the original sanitary napkin was pasted like this, and there were many precautions.
Today, although my daughter is only seven years old, she knows early on which parts are our private parts, and she knows what sanitary napkins are used for, and that menstruation will come according to time.
As a new generation of parents, I don't think it's necessary for us to remain stubborn and say nothing about these issues. Because the more you hide it, the more curious your child tends to be.
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Which of the above methods do you most agree with? Welcome to discuss with Xi Xi's mother!