On the way to accompanying children to grow up, we will always encounter various problems. In addition to physical and mental health and academic performance, children's dating problems have also become the focus of many parents' attention.
Today, a fan wrote me a private message about his recent confusion.
"Hello XiXi's mother, I am now facing a difficult problem and hope to get your advice. Here's the thing —
My daughter was betrayed by her best friend. My daughter was a member of the class, and she had a best friend in the class, and the other day she suddenly found out that her friend had coaxed several other girls not to play with my daughter, and there had been no unpleasantness between them.
Today, Monday, another thing happened. The children's class organized a theatrical performance as early as last week, and the performance time was set for today. Originally, this girl and my daughter were in the same group, but when the performance was about to be performed this afternoon, this girl and two other classmates suddenly withdrew from the group, leaving my daughter helpless. During this period, there were no contradictions.
As a result, after the class performance, the girl asked my daughter for a hippie smile to reconcile, but before school was over in the afternoon, she turned her face for no reason.
In fact, the child said to me very early, saying that this girl always compares grades with her in the open and in the dark, but I have always taught my daughter to endure, after all, everyone is a classmate, looking up and not looking down, it seems that it is not good to make the relationship too stiff. But today I cried very sadly after watching my daughter come home, and my heart did not mention how uncomfortable it was. ”
After reading this fan's text narrative and recalling the small video content I brushed a few days ago, I have to advise you to pay attention to the similar situation of children. Because once it is not handled well, it will become a long-term problem for children.
So, in the face of our daughter being betrayed by friends, what should we do as parents?
(1) Tell your daughter that you must keep a normal mind.
My daughter's elementary school held a hike last week during which there was a small episode.
After resting at the designated location for about an hour, the school leaders asked the class teachers to organize the students to start returning to school. Because it was a school-wide trip, the number of people was relatively large, and the class teacher went to the toilet at that time, and my daughter waved the class flag as the deputy class leader and shouted that the students in her class had gathered quickly.
My daughter's best friend saw her waving the flag in her hand and was curious and wanted to "play." She grabbed the flag and ordered my daughter to quickly wave the flag to another classmate, but in fact the other classmate was not present. After my daughter refused, the other party claimed that he wanted to take the flag to the class teacher, so he wanted to take it from my daughter.
After seeing the situation, I signaled my daughter to her, saving herself from entanglement. But after the other party took the class flag, he did not give it to the class teacher, nor to any classmates, and it felt very fun to dangle alone.
This girl is like the kind of girl my fans describe, she will encourage all the classmates around me to isolate my daughter for no reason, and even spread rumors that my daughter will not play with classmates with poor grades. In short, if she wants to be reconciled, she must be reconciled, and if she wants to isolate my daughter, she must isolate my daughter.
In this regard, I often tell my daughter to keep a normal heart and not to be bothered by such people, because some people are destined to stay with you, and some people are destined to be just passers-by.
(2) Tell your daughter not to try to please anyone.
There is one more thing that makes me extremely angry. My daughter told me that the school played games between girls, and that the girl was very strong and had to ask everyone to follow her instructions.
For example, play a game of playing gophers. She ordered my daughter to be a rat, and she could only be a gopher. If my daughter refuses to be a gopher because she hurts her back or head, she will invite others to isolate my daughter and leave my daughter without friends.
My daughter values her friend so much that she plays with her almost every day because she is afraid that if she plays with others, her friends will be unhappy. However, the other party made a fuss about it, telling other students that the reason why my daughter did not play with them was that my daughter did not look up to their academic performance.
During that time, the daughter did not play with the classmates in the class, and could only play in the hallway with the other classmates. Not only do I cry and cry when I see me every day when I go home, but sometimes when I take a bath, I will collapse and cry when I wash it. My daughter even told me, "Mom, even though she did this to me, I still wanted to play with her." ”
In this regard, I solemnly told my daughter that I did not have to deliberately try to please anyone, because asking for perfection would only make myself extremely miserable.
(3) Tell your daughter that you must protect yourself.
Before, my daughter went home to complain about a classmate's prank, and I tried my best to calm my daughter's emotions and moderately enlighten my daughter to forgive each other, because I always believed that children of this age should not have any bad thoughts, let alone hearts or city governments.
However, later I found out that there were individual children who were really scary. For example, friend A first broke off relations with my daughter for no reason, and then when friend A found that friend B was still playing with my daughter, friend A would privately find friend B and tell friend B: "You can't play with her, if I find you playing with her again, I will never reconcile with her." ”
Because he did not want to lose two friends at the same time, and hoped that his good friends could reconcile as soon as possible, Friend B could only superficially promise Friend A. Only when Friend A is not on the scene can Friend B secretly play with my daughter, and as long as Friend A is on the scene, Friend B can only endure the pain of isolating my daughter.
Later, friend B was in pain and went home to tell his mother about it, and we learned that there was still this thing.
Seven or eight years old, a natural innocence, how did he evolve into a master of palace fighting? It's scary to think about.
Later, I think it is good to have these experiences, when my daughter is injured, she actually established the ability to recognize human nature, and she can also see clearly who is worthy of her deep friendship in these setbacks.
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Has your child experienced the same problem? How do you deal with this situation? Come and talk to Xi Xi's mother.