Speak well: Liao Wang's loss of control explains the truth about her "reluctance to face the breakdown of her parents' marriage."

In "Speak Well", there is a place that has always puzzled me, that is, Liao Wang's parents have obviously divorced, but they have hidden the truth from their daughters, and pretend to be loving in front of their daughters, while Liao Wangming has discovered the breakdown of his parents' marriage, but pretends not to know anything, and continues to forcibly match his parents together.

The reason why I was confused about this matter was because Liao Wang was already an adult. I understand that some parents hide their divorce for fear of hurting their children when they are young, and I understand that children often cannot accept parental separation at a young age. But for the adult Liao Wang, this should not be a serious thing for her to face.

Therefore, in this matter, Liao Wang's parents' approach and Liao Wang's reaction made me very puzzled. It wasn't until I saw Liao Wang's sudden loss of emotional control during the recording of the show that I figured out the truth implied.

Liao Wang's loss of control.

When recording the case about the Lei family's wrong house, Liao Wang first verbally reprimanded Lei Hui for not being grateful to his parents, and then said something like this to Lei Hui's father:

"Do you think you have no responsibility for this, you as parents, staring at your children three hundred and sixty degrees without dead ends, why are you staring at your children like this, living your life badly?" If you want to leave, divorce, let go of yourself, let go of your children. ”

As a lawyer, it is reasonable to say that it should be a basic requirement to always be rational in the work and control his emotions, so why does Liao Wang suddenly lose control and get mad on stage?

From a psychological point of view, if something or scenes trigger our strong feelings and cause us to overreact, it means that these things or similar scenes are part of our growing up that has not been appeased and reconciled.

Liao Wang's emotions are out of control because of Lei Hui's lack of gratitude to her parents and her parents' airtight control of Lei Hui, which reflects her own growth process. It is very likely that from childhood to adulthood, she also has the same fatherly and maternal love as Lei Hui, except that she uses reason to tell herself that she should be grateful to her parents, rather than confronting her parents like Lei Hui.

In this way, the parents' practice of concealing the divorce and her own reaction to the matter can be explained.

Why do parents hide their divorce?

No doubt, it's because of loving children.

But if you love children, you should obviously not be together, or do you have to screw together for a lifetime? If you love children, should you clearly be divorced, and you should also give up the right to go back to happiness in the second half of your life?

Such love is not only unfair to parents, but also too heavy for children. I think this is the reason why Liao Wang's heart is full of entanglements and contradictions after discovering that his parents have divorced. If she had a choice, she'd rather her parents be honest with her than give up her life for her.

More importantly, the love of her parents is not only reflected in this one thing, but through this event, we can infer that she has been surrounded by this love from childhood to adulthood.

In such a growth environment, the child does not feel all happiness, she is more, is to feel that her every move is not constrained at all times, her parents will stare at her in every detail, afraid that she will not have enough to eat and wear, afraid that she will be hurt, afraid that she will make a mistake.

Parents are eager to give the best in the world to their children, eager to give up everything for their children, eager to arrange all the things for her children... Yes, for parents, it is to love the child, but for the child, such love is repressed, it will make her lose her life.

Lei Hui's parents were like this, and so were Liao Wang's parents. Therefore, we have seen that even if Liao Wang has reached adulthood, her parents still dare not let her know that they have divorced, they are afraid that Liao Wang cannot bear it, in fact, what the child needs is not such love, it is the parents themselves who have wrongly treated this love.

Why is Liao Wang reluctant to face the breakdown of his parents' marriage?

Liao Wang once said that although she will be exposed to some strange views of family and marriage in her work, she has a pair of such loving parents as an example, and her view of marriage will not be affected.

In connection with her refusal to face her parents' divorce later, I once thought that she was indeed too dependent on her parents and could not accept the separation of her parents.

Until during the recording of the program, she retorted Yang Guang's statement that "this does not involve the emotional problems of the old two":

"Why not? If the two of them hadn't been screwed together and given Lei Hui a deformed family, would he have been able to do these things? ”

From here, we can see that it is not that she cannot accept the divorce of her parents, but that she has determined that her parents have formed their own belief in their love for their children, and they are unwilling to divorce because of this belief.

When she said Lei Hui, she mentioned many times that he should be grateful to his parents. Knowing that her parents love in the wrong way, she has to be grateful to her parents, which is her own attitude towards her parents.

Therefore, after seeing her parents' divorce certificates, she still "twisted" them together casually, not because she did not dare to face the breakdown of her parents' marriage, but because she wanted to try to maintain this belief in her parents' hearts.

But this is a very tiring process, she needs to suppress her thoughts and feelings, and it is very likely that in the course of her childhood to adulthood, she has suppressed a lot of similar feelings, so she will trigger her own suppressed feelings when she encounters similar scenes, resulting in loss of control.

This also explains the truth of her "reluctance to face the breakdown of her parents' marriage" - she is not unable to accept her parents' divorce, she does not want to destroy her parents' insistence on faith.

You see, parents are bent on their children, and children obviously feel heavy, but they have to maintain their parents' hard hearts and pretend to enjoy this love, which is not in exchange for the happiness and harmony of the family, but different thoughts, each suffering.

In fact, after I became a mother myself, I can especially understand the mentality and love of parents who think about everything for their children, but I really want to say that our children are an independent individual, he has his own ideas, has his own pursuits, and also needs to have his own life trajectory, parents really should not plan everything about their children in the name of love, try to control their children's lives.

"When the water is full, it overflows, and when the moon is profitable, it loses." If parents give their children an airtight all-round love without dead ends, the child must not feel full of happiness. Therefore, parents who love their children should leave a certain space for their children and let themselves have their own lives. Win-win love is the best love.

About the author: Meet and miss, a woman who likes to read and write, focusing on the creation of articles in the emotional field and the analysis and answer of emotional questions, I hope that my words can accompany you warmly forward.