Wen | Reader
China's traditional culture is broad and profound, and a short proverb and saying profoundly reflects many truths. From ancient times to the present, our ancestors' understanding of human feelings and life practices has always been profound and broad.
As the saying goes, "One relative is bad, nine generations are defeated", which is a very vivid way to tell some truths in life.
"One relative is bad, nine generations are defeated"
First of all, we must focus on understanding what is "pro", and what does "pro" mean?
"Kin", as explained in the Chinese character dictionary, has the original meaning of deep feelings and close relationships. Nowadays, many people like to use "kiss" to call each other to appear closer and intimate between the two sides.
In ancient times, the word "kin" was often related by blood or marriage.
Speaking of this, it is easy for us to understand that the "relatives" in "one relative is bad, nine generations are defeated" actually refers to the meaning of family affairs, that is, marriage, marriage between men and women.
"One parent is bad, nine generations are defeated", the emphasis here is obviously referring to the negative impact of failed marriage on future generations.
From a woman's point of view
As we all know, in the old days, the impact of marriage on a person and even on the family was enormous. In ancient times, people, once married, was almost a lifelong thing, especially for women.
It is said that the daughter who marries out spills water, in ancient times, once a woman married out, it was basically tacitly acquiesced to "the person who is born into the husband's family, and the ghost who dies is the ghost of the husband's family." When a woman is married, she can often only be divorced by her husband's family before she can return to her mother's house and dissolve the marriage relationship with the man.
In such a situation, if a woman marries the wrong one, she will undoubtedly jump into the abyss of eternal disaster.
As the saying goes, men are afraid of entering the wrong line, and women are afraid of marrying the wrong man.
Choosing a good husband's family can achieve happiness and beauty in life. Choosing the wrong husband's family and entering the wrong door not only cause harm to yourself and your family, but if you have children, you will cause harm to your children.
It is said that men are the main backbone of the family, the top pillar, and the quality of men directly affects the happiness of the family.
If the man who marries is of good character, self-motivated, and has a sense of responsibility, the family will naturally not be too bad. If men only know how to eat, drink, gamble, steal chickens and dogs, be idle, and do not do their jobs, then it will bring devastating disasters to the whole family.
The Fugui written by the writer Mr. Yu Hua's "Alive" is a typical example. Fugui was originally a rich young master of a landlord's family, enjoying the glory and wealth, but he was addicted to gambling and lost all the family funds.
In the end, he went from being a pampered and well-dressed young master to a poor peasant.
And his family, because of his good gamble, did not do the right thing and led to the "destruction of the family", his father was beaten by him, fell from the dung pit, and died.
From then on, his mother, wife and children could only suffer with him.
Because the family lived a difficult life, his mother finally died of illness in misery, his daughter died of difficult childbirth when she gave birth, and the son lost his life because he donated blood to the county magistrate's wife and was drawn too much blood. His wife also died of illness due to overwork.
In the end, even the only grandson who was left behind was killed because he had not eaten well for many years and ate the beans in one breath. In the end, the people around them passed away one by one, leaving only the elderly Fugui and a cattle that cultivated the land to live together.
It can be said that if it were not for Fugui's good gamble, his family would not have come to such a miserable end, especially Fugui's wife Jiazhen, from a small family of jasper, a rich lady who knew the book, and finally married Fugui, and then suffered and suffered together.
Speaking from a man's point of view
In China, when it comes to marriage, it is often male-dominated, male-dominated, and females in a subordinate position. Therefore, when it comes to marriage, the object of people's attention and investigation is often more focused on men. In fact, marriage is not only a process for women to choose men, but also a process for men to choose women.
It is said that "a good woman affects three generations", and a good woman can achieve the happiness of a family. Whether a man is successful or not has a great connection with his wife.
There is a French proverb that says, "A good wife is worth as a thousand cities, and a wicked wife is as terrible as a beast." ”
That's just the way to say it. For a man, the success of life is not simply measured by the ability to make money in a career and money, but to see whether the family is harmonious and happy.
A good wife is both a man's virtuous helper and a man's "safe haven".
The blessings and misfortunes of the family are all "piled up into a tower", not formed in one day or two days. If a woman is thrifty and thrifty, kind-hearted, industrious and virtuous, responsible, large in pattern, and knowledgeable, then the family will not be too poorly managed, and the education of the children will not be too bad.
A good wife can bring endless blessings to the family and future generations, and avoid disasters in the family.
And if the wife's conduct is not right, filial piety to her relatives, and sexual immorality, then it will not only affect herself and her neighbors, hurt the family, but also cause trouble to the family, and will directly affect the future and happiness of future generations.
The wife is not only a member of the family, but also a member of the family. In the past, the wife that a man was marrying was to enter the genealogy of the clan.
For this reason, the ancients have long realized the importance of marrying a good wife, and they have chosen a thousand choices and considered the character of the girl. Just as the emperor should elect an empress with good character and a motherly mother after the election. Otherwise, if you marry a woman with a vicious heart and a fierce temperament, you will suffer a great sin when you come back.
Of course, before marrying a wife, it is not only an examination of the girl herself, but also an examination of her family, relatives and friends. Just as whether it is ancient or modern, people looking for objects, they first inquire about each other's original family situation, generally the other party's family is not good, the mother is a shrew, often quarrels with people, the father is good at gambling and drinking, the family has style problems, moral corruption, this marriage is basically gone.
The importance of marriage to the family
In a person's life, every choice will have an impact on the fate of life, especially when it comes to major choices. For example, the summary of the proverb left by the ancestors of "one parent is bad, nine generations are defeated" greatly emphasizes the importance of marriage choices, and wrong marriages will have a profound negative impact on the future of life. The marital mistakes of one generation will continue to affect the happiness of future generations.
Marriage and conjuring are not just a matter of two people, a man and a woman, but two families that were originally unrelated to each other, and they are united to become a relative.
Marrying a good wife can make the family harmonious and happy, and the family style can be passed on. In the history of China, there has never been a shortage of such excellent women. For example, Confucius's mother, in order to avoid the noisy entanglement of the family, took the young Confucius and moved from the poor countryside to the capital. It is precisely in this way that Confucius will not grow up in poverty and all kinds of white-eyed worldliness, and become autistic and lonely.
It can be said that Confucius was able to become a saint to a large extent inseparable from his mother's hard work and teaching.
Another example is the story of "Meng's mother's three migrations", Meng Ke's mother has moved many times in order to choose a good environment to educate her children. It's all amazing good mothers.
In short, marriage is extremely important for both men and women, and we must choose carefully when it comes to choosing objects.
The partner has played a great decisive role in family building, and the quality of marriage has a profound impact on family harmony and the healthy development of future children.
Although the rural proverb "one relative is bad, nine generations are defeated", although it has some exaggerated elements, it vividly expresses this truth.
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