There is a scene in the movie "Alive" that impressed me.
The male protagonist in the story, Fugui, was born in a landlord's family, grew up in fine clothes, doted on his family, and lived an enviable life.
When he grew up, he became the idle, unenterprising young master, and spent all day in the casino. After his wife tried to persuade him many times to no avail, she dragged her pregnant body and left the house.
It seems to be conceivable, what will the result of Fugui look like? He eventually ran out of possessions and owed countless debts outside. After his father worked so hard to pay his debts, he raised his crutches and beat his son but did not fight.
However, he was killed by Fugui's living anger.
Can't help but regret, a good family, wife and father died, where is the biggest reason? Some people say that gambling hurts them, but I think what really hurts them is the family style of a family.
If the family style is not correct, the children who are educated are not correct.
It was precisely when they were young that they doted on Fugui too much and were eager to give him all the good things. So, he was raised into the arrogant, unenterprising, and addicted to gambling.
A family, the family style is not right, is the fuse of a family to decay, to the fall.
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First, spoil the child too much, leading the child to indulge in fun.
In a family, the most taboo is to spoil children, children who grow up in doting often do not know how to be grateful, only know how to take, so children are developed into a character of indulgence and fun. In his cognitive world, there is only egoism, no affection, but ideas.
Coddling is not the same as enrichment.
Remember the incident of Li Tianyi, he was born in a superior family from childhood, his father is the famous singer Li Shuangjiang, because of his old age, he can be described as "doting" for this hard-won son.
He gave him whatever he wanted, he ran into trouble, his father gave him a finishing touch, and he didn't dare to scold, and he didn't dare to fight.
As a result, he developed an arrogant and arrogant character.
When he was fifteen years old, he drove a luxury car and scraped other people's cars. It was his fault, and he once shouted, "Who of you dares to call the police." Later, it was his father himself who came forward to settle the matter.
But he did not repent, on the contrary, he still thought that he was capable, and such things could be solved by me, so he became more and more unscrupulous to do things that hurt others.
Think about it from another angle, if they are not coddling when educating their children, whether his life will change. Instead of many people talking about him now, they are all contemptuous.
If the fault is to whom? Not Li Tianyi, but the way his parents educate their children.
In a family, to educate children in this way, there will be the next Wang Tianyi, Yang Tianyi and so on.
The best way to educate a child is not to coddle, but to enrich the child, spiritually, in words and deeds, for him, it is a lifetime of wealth.
Second, scold the child and let the child lose the concept of family affection
We have an old saying, "Filial piety is produced under the stick, and if you don't fight, you won't be able to succeed"? But is that really the case?
Two days ago, a reader left a message in the background, "In my impression, from childhood to adulthood, my mother did not let me have dignity, so I still don't like my mother, and I don't want to care about her life, old age, illness and death." ”
When he typed these words on his phone, it seemed conceivable how much he had been wronged in his childhood, which led to his still resentful of his mother's various behaviors.
It is often mentioned that "raising children is to prevent old age." ”
However, the scolding advocated by many parents will make the child appreciate you and will treat you kindly in the future?
The results of many things tell us that they will not.
Once, chatting with a neighbor in the neighborhood, she talked about her original family. When she was young, there were many brothers and sisters in the family, and she was not important to her parents. Sometimes, if she makes the slightest mistake, she will be scolded by her mother.
She said, "I'll never forget that look in my mother's eyes." "She didn't shed a single tear until after her mother's death.
Why, is she not grateful, or has the concept of family affection been lost?
In fact, the main reason lies in their parents. Push yourself and others, if you were young, your parents could not stop beating and scolding you, would you have a shadow?
I think everybody will, and that's something you can't ever heal in a lifetime.
So, don't believe in filial piety under any stick. The best way to educate children is to have children do something wrong, appropriate corporal punishment, or to communicate more so that children can correct them.
Finally, a child is a mirror on the parents, the way you educate the child, there will be what kind of child, in terms of educating the child, don't spoil, please be rich, instead of doting, it is better to take him to see the outside world, tell him more about the wonders of life, with their own upward spirit, to enrich the spirit of the child, in such an environment to grow up under the child, the heart is tough at the same time, the spirit and abundance. In the face of some of the constraints in life, you will also be fearless.
May we encourage each other!