Raising children and daughters, do not ask them to become dragons and phoenixes, but they are afraid that the children they raise will not be filial piety when they grow up, and even become "white-eyed wolves". The phenomenon of filial piety is becoming more and more common, both in reality and on media television.
For example, there is an only son of Aunt Yang in our community who is very unfilial. Although when her son was three years old, Aunt Yang lived alone with her son, and raised her son with hard work to provide for her son to finish college, and also assisted her son in marrying and having children, but after her son married, she lived with her daughter-in-law and children in other places, and rarely came back to see him. Every time she saw Aunt Yang's single shadow only trembling and walking, her mother-in-law said: How pitiful.
Why are there more and more filial children?
Children who are not filial piety are actually selfish in their bones, almost only considering their own feelings, and rarely caring about their parents and others. But the child's selfishness is not actually cultivated overnight, but slowly "solidified" in the process of growing up.
In order to avoid raising unfilial children, understand how selfish children are raised. What did you do when you were a kid?
In fact, children grow up filial piety and filial piety, and from an early age they have the following characteristics:
* More selfish
Whether children are selfish or not can be seen from an early age. If the child is selfish when he is a child, he will not change much when he grows up. If when you are a child, your child is self-centered in everything, never knows how to understand others, and if parents do not guide them in time, they will still not change much when they grow up. As the saying goes, "three years old to see the big, seven years old to see the old", this is the truth, the child's good character should be cultivated from an early age.
* Not close to parents
Children are not close to their parents from an early age, and when they grow up, they naturally have no feelings for their parents. When the parents are old, it is more normal for such children to be unfilial to them.
* No sense of responsibility
Adults need to have a sense of responsibility when they raise children, and whether they are filial piety when children grow up is also a manifestation of responsibility. A child who is not responsible for his own others from an early age cannot be responsible for his parents when he grows up.
So, how to avoid raising unfilial children? Try to start with the following:
Cultivate an intimate parent-child relationship
Most children who are not filial to their parents are emotionally indifferent to their parents and do not form a close parent-child relationship. Parents should cultivate a close parent-child relationship with their children in time a few years before the birth of their children.
*Early contact between mother and baby
In psychology, there is a term called the "matrilineal imprint effect", which means that the initial intimate relationship between the child and the mother will be initially established in the first few hours or days of birth.
After the birth of the child, the mother should make eye-to-skin contact with the child as soon as possible and breastfeed the child.
* High quality parents accompany children
The intimate relationship between the child and the parents will gradually establish two or three years after the birth of the child.
If you don't want your child to be unrelated to yourself, before the child is three years old, parents should try to take their children with them and don't let their children become left-behind children.
Even if mom and dad go out to work during the day and come home at night, as long as they maintain a certain amount of high-quality companionship every day, the child will be close to the parents.
High-quality companionship, need to have more skin contact with children, parents can take a special time every day to play interactive games with children, it is best to have a certain amount of physical contact, or take their children to sleep every day, and hold the child before going to bed to read, or give the child bedtime touch.
High-quality companionship means that during the period of accompanying children, parents need to focus all their energy on their children, and cannot be half-hearted, such as playing with children while playing mobile phones, and coping with children while working.
* Communicate with your child's heart more
Some children are far away from their parents' hearts, that is, they have not formed the habit of spiritual communication.
You can take a time out of the day to communicate with your child about what happened to you that day.
For example, ten minutes before bedtime, Mom and Dad let the child share what she did at school that day? What were you thinking? Parents can also share with their children some of the things they encounter at work on this day, and even recall to their children what happened when they were young, just to get closer to their children and develop the habit of talking.
Not too child-centered
The ancients had a saying, "At the beginning of man, nature is good", the selfish disposition of children is not formed from birth, and is related to the parents' acquired parenting style.
Before the age of 3, do not force children to share
Between the ages of 2-5, self-awareness is gradually forming, and slowly there are people who are different from others in matter and thought.
Before the age of three, everything is only self-centered, and even things are willing not to share, parents can not over-force children to share, let the children have free, otherwise it is counterproductive, so that children develop the habit of excessive attention to foreign objects.
After the age of 5, you can no longer center on her
After the age of 5, the child will slowly begin to be willing to share, if at the age of 5, the child is still unwilling to share anything, parents should pay attention to it, and the mother guides the child to learn to share.
Don't be child-centered in everything
Today's children are the pearls in the palm of the family, and even four or five adults in a family circle around a child, and they are obedient to everything about the child, such a parenting method is easy for the child to develop a "selfish ghost" who is solipsistic.
It is also necessary to slowly take children to experience life and participate in labor, so that children can slowly learn to understand the feelings of others and sympathize with the difficulties of others in life and labor.
Cultivate a sense of responsibility in children
We have children, in addition to emotional satisfaction, in fact, more responsibilities and obligations, after all, the road to parenting is long and arduous.
And when parents are old and need their children to feed filial piety, they also need their children to have a sense of responsibility.
It is not impossible for a child who is not responsible for himself and others from an early age to be responsible to his elderly parents.
How to cultivate a sense of responsibility in children from an early age?
Raise your child to be responsible for themselves
Starting from kindergarten classes, guide children to gradually learn to handle their own private life and learning affairs independently.
For example, let children take the initiative to complete their own learning tasks, pack their school bags, and pack their toys and rooms every day.
Cultivate children's spirit of responsibility
Guide your child to learn to take care of younger siblings younger than him, so that children learn to take care of and help others.
Parents with conditions can also accompany their children to participate in more social public welfare affairs, such as volunteering, so that children will have responsibilities from primary school.
epilogue
As parents, although having and raising children, not necessarily praying for him to give much in return, but at least let us enjoy parent-child feelings in our later years, when we really need children, children can come to see us more, there are things that can run errands, take handles, and so on.
Are you worried that your children will not grow up filial piety? Follow @AiYang Parenting