Some people say that the best way to tie up a man is to control, but this is not the case.
Because men pursue freedom, what they dislike most is that someone imprisons their lives in the name of love.
Moreover, people are rebellious, and the more they don't let them do anything, the more they want to do it.
Therefore, control not only does not tie the man's heart, but it will backfire.
Some people say that the best way to tie up a man is to please, but in fact, it is not.
Because the emotions between people are built up by value, that is, there is no value exchange, there is no relationship, and there will be no love.
When a woman pleases a man, in the eyes of a man, the woman at this time is completely pinched by herself, and since she has been completely pinched, why spend time to operate it?
Anyway, the result will not change, more is better than less, and it is also happy to be idle.
Therefore, flattery is not the best way to capture men's hearts.
Psychological research has shown that a good way to tie a man's heart is not to please, but to "stir the heart".
So, how do we "stir up hearts"?
We need to understand what exactly men need?
In fact, the best control is not to control.
People have a rebellious mentality, although because they care about the gains and losses, because they suffer from gains and losses, they must give themselves the sense of security they want through control.
However, men have a need for freedom, they do not like to be imprisoned, control will only make each other more and more distant from us, and each other's feelings will also be resentful.
If we desire something, we need to let it be free, and if it comes back to us, then it means that it belongs to us;
If it doesn't come back, then it means we never had it.
Love is the same thing.
As the French writer Moluis said: "In a happy marriage, everyone should respect each other's tastes and hobbies." To think that two people can have the same thoughts, the same judgments, the same desires, the most absurd thoughts. ”
Marriage or love, must be based on the premise of respect for each other, in order to go long.
We must learn to "low investment" in men and "high pay" to ourselves
In a relationship between the sexes, if you want to take the lead in love, you need to adjust the proportion of giving.
Many women are highly invested in men and low in themselves, and they invisibly put themselves in a disadvantaged position.
There is a Matthew effect in psychology, which refers to the fact that on the same basis, the strong will be stronger, and the weak will only be weaker.
When women become weak in a relationship, it means that they can only be led by the nose, and they cannot experience the sweetness and happiness that love should have.
Therefore, it is necessary to adjust the proportion of pay, that is, to "pay high" in yourself, "low investment" in men, and to focus more time and energy on yourself.
In fact, if you think about it, all the love that makes women feel like water cannot escape a process of self-improvement.
It's like a person who has a horse, and if the other person likes the horse, don't try to chase it, because you can't catch up.
So, what should this person do? The best way is to plant grass and flowers, and when the grass grows and the warblers fly in the coming year, the horse will naturally come back to find itself.
Of course, it doesn't matter if the horse doesn't come back, because this person already has grass and flowers, already has a unique charm and capital, even if this horse doesn't come, naturally there will be other horses coming, and there is no need to worry at all.
We need to understand that warmth is always more effective than harshness
The same man bought himself a gift, provided that he did his homework, but because he did not know much, the final choice was a lipstick number that was not suitable for girls.
One is "I'm really served, just buy a lipstick number is not right, what else can you do, you look at other people's boyfriends, you look at you again!" ”
One is "Wow, you actually know how to give me lipstick, so have a heart." However, this lipstick is not very suitable for me, next time I choose to try a little harder, oh, see you so serious, I think I am so happy."
The same problem, the same is that the lipstick number is not appropriate, but the second way to listen is to be much more comfortable than the first, and I am willing to be serious when choosing a gift next time, and I will not reject it.
That is because one gives affirmation and also gives criticism, and the combination of the two is easier to achieve the goal, while the other only criticizes, and without affirmation, it will eliminate people's enthusiasm.
Yishu said: "Marriage has nothing to do with love, people always think that after love matures, they will naturally get married, but they don't know that marriage is just a way of life, everyone can get married, it is very simple." Love is another matter entirely. ”
Love needs to be managed, and if you are not careful, you will make a wrong step, a wrong step. Give men warmth, affirmation + criticism is more effective than simple criticism, to achieve the purpose of correction, men will not feel that there is any bad experience, everyone is happy.