01
Men and women are originally very different in all aspects, two people live under the same roof every day after marriage, it is inevitable to face a lot of things, and if the personality between husband and wife is not compatible, it will bring a certain crisis to this marriage.
Some people say that if the husband and wife do not match the personality, it is better to divorce earlier, so that continuing to live is also a kind of torture for each other; some people say that the husband and wife personality discord can be slowly run-in, why do you have to take the step of divorce?
So, should a couple whose personalities are incompatible should they be divorced? Of course, divorce cannot be done arbitrarily for the following reasons:
First, the reason why you have come to the step of divorce is not because your personalities are incompatible, but that you are not willing to run into each other.
Everyone has their own personality and temper, and as we often say, we can't find two identical leaves in this world, so we can't find two people with exactly the same personality.
In getting along, we have our own strengths and weaknesses with each other, plus most people are selfish, especially when they first got married, few people can think of each other.
And the loving couples who are envious of each other in our eyes are not necessarily that they are lucky to find the right person, but that they have also gone through years of running-in, and they know how to accommodate and cherish each other, so as to exchange for a lifetime of happiness.
I remember watching an elderly couple in a documentary share the secret of their long-lived marriage: "We adapted to each other's personalities and compromised with each other." ”
Yes, one of the secrets of marriage preservation is to accept each other's strengths while also allowing each other to have shortcomings.
To love you is to respect you, to be independent and interdependent, so that we can walk hand in hand through countless ups and downs.
As a psychologist once said, "It doesn't matter if couples eat the same thing or not, what matters is that they eat their favorite food at the same time and share the pleasure of food with each other." ”
Second, the reason why you think that each other's personalities are not compatible is that neither of you is willing to know each other deeply.
Sanmao said: "The love of some people is only an emotion at that time, and if you mistake this emotion for long-term love, it is its own naivety." ”
Because love is beautiful and dreamlike, but marriage and love are very different, when you enter marriage from love, you have to face and accept the blandness and triviality of the reality of life.
Maybe when you are in love, you will only see each other's advantages, not the shortcomings of each other, because at that time you only have love in your heart.
However, after marriage, you find that the other party has so many shortcomings that you don't like, and even his strengths have become shortcomings at this time.
After all, love can't withstand the chicken and dog fragments of chai rice oil and salt, nor can it escape the complicated family relationship, and eventually it will go to the step of divorce because it can't accept the status quo.
Third, the reason why the two personalities are not compatible is that the gap between them is too large, or you are too strong, or he is too strong.
If the gap between husband and wife is too large, it is difficult for marriage to last long, especially the marriage of strong women.
In life, more and more strong women will choose to live alone after experiencing a failed marriage. Because they can get everything on their own, why do they have to go into an unknown marriage to wrongfully judge themselves?
Therefore, the reason why many couples are separated due to personality discord is also related to the fact that the gap between them is too large.
At this point, if you look at the couples in the entertainment industry, you know that because they are too strong and have many ways to retreat, their marriage is easy to go wrong.
02
What should I do if the couple has a different personality?
Even if your personalities are really incompatible, don't divorce easily, because as long as you can properly resolve the personality discord in your life, you can make this marriage happy.
So what should be done if the husband and wife are not compatible?
First, respect each other and blame each other less.
Husband and wife should respect each other's personality, different personalities have different strengths and weaknesses, if the husband and wife insist on their own opinions every time they encounter things, they can't listen to each other's opinions, it will definitely lead to contradictions, and it is easy to make each other feel disgusted.
Therefore, when encountering things in normal times, try to blame the other party as little as possible, and communicate with the other party calmly, in order to better solve the problem.
Second, don't be too domineering, you must listen to you every time.
Even if the other party loves you again, you are always two individuals, so for your other half, you can't be too domineering, everything has to be decided by you, that will only cause more contradictions between you, and even push him away from your side.
Third, when encountering things, we must learn to think in empathy.
No matter how much contradiction you have caused between you, you must learn to think in a different position, if you are the other party, see the other half so domineering and unreasonable, what will you do?
If you want this unpleasant end as soon as possible, you may wish to learn the appearance of the other party, perform to show the other party, and believe that the other party will be embarrassed to laugh when they see the way they just looked.
Fourth, learn to give each other a certain amount of space appropriately.
Husband and wife together, it is not necessary for two people to walk in unison, think the same way, feel that in this way can have more common language, in fact, such a rigorous requirement, but will make the other party feel tired.
Therefore, learning to give each other a certain amount of space will make it easier for couples to get along.
03
Marriage is originally a science, and since it is a science, we need to slowly learn and explore in our married life.
Since there is a chance to be married in this life, we should cherish each other more in our married life.
In fact, if you think about it, it is not a shame to make compromises for the people you love, if you really lose the people you love the most because of some small things in life, it is not worth the loss and makes people regret for a lifetime.