The most comfortable state of middle-aged marriage: respect as guests

When I was a child, I liked to follow the adults to see the drama, and at that time I liked to watch the good stories of talented women and red pink teenagers.

But the adults who have listened to the drama for a lifetime like "Playing The Golden Branch" and "Counting Grain", and they also talk about these two after dinner.

At that time, I couldn't understand "Playing The Golden Branch", and I always felt that the emperor's daughter was rude and unlovable, and the emperor and the empress could not understand too many lyrics.

Whenever I can't calm down, the adults patiently explain the twists and turns to me, and many of the things I did when I was a child have been forgotten until now, but those jokes and words have always been rooted in the depths of my heart.

"Playing the Golden Branch" tells the story of the emperor's beloved daughter Princess Shengping and the horse quarreling with their parents, and finally being persuaded by their parents to make peace.

When I was a child, I always thought that the emperor's daughter was the only one in the world, and I didn't think that the empress in the drama text would tell the truth:

Although you are a royal imperial daughter

Marrying a folk is a folk wife

Keep an eye out from now on

Compensation is not low

Once upon a time, whether it was the daughter of the emperor or the girl of the common people, as long as you married a woman, you had to abide by the rules of being a wife, otherwise, no matter what your position of power, it would be difficult to get real happiness.

In ancient times, couples paid attention to respecting each other as guests, that is, husband and wife should respect each other as if they were guests.

This is the most ideal marriage of the ancients, in fact, until now, this standard should continue to be retained, the older you get, the more you find that the most ideal marriage is to respect each other.

Middle-aged marriages are increasingly failing because of a lack of respect.

Recently, the TV series "The Age of Awakening" was enshrined in the circle of friends, and many friends could not help but praise one of the male protagonists, Mr. Shouchang, Li Dazhao, as long as they watched it.

Yes, after watching a few episodes, I also sincerely admired a man like Mr. Shouchang.

Because whether as a great man or as a husband, as a father, Mr. Shou chang's character and integrity are so admirable.

As a new figure at that time, he had an old-style wife (the order of his parents) like many literati at that time, but he did not accept the new culture to abandon the old ideas, nor did he abandon his family and not marry the new-style women like those literati.

He thanked his wife for washing up the lead to protect his growth, and returned it with the same affection and dedication, and in the days of studying outside, he also abided by the rules of a married man.

A student once came to the door to ask for advice, saw his wife dressed in a simple way, and thought that his wife was a nanny, And Li Dazhao quickly corrected: She is my wife.

After someone came, he would dress his wife in proper clothes and generously introduce her to the guests.

Whether it is public morality or private morality, Mr. Shouchang has always been consistent, he is a well-deserved hero of this nation, and he is also a good husband who deserves the life and death of his wife Zhao Shulan.

When I was young, I always didn't know what kind of person I wanted to marry, and I didn't know what kind of marriage I was suitable for, but after middle age, I finally understood:

"Marriage comes to an end, and there is respect before there is grace."

Husbands and wives have lived together for decades, relying on not only passion, but also the kindness of each other, mutual understanding and consideration, and mutual respect, which is the real entanglement.

How many people after marriage, not only naturally enjoy the other half of the payment, and even more and more do not take each other as the same thing, talk and do things only think of themselves, this is the real reason for the final collapse of their marriage.

The true meaning of "respect as a guest" is not only "respect", but also "like a guest".

Another meaning of mutual respect like guests is that no matter how much love you have, you should keep a little distance.

People get along with each other, no matter how close the relationship, if it has been intimate, it will only make your contradictions more and more.

So really smart couples will give each other a certain space, and in this space, we place those selves that are not in fellowship with each other, secrets, and so on.

I remember watching a movie where the male protagonist who returned from abroad fell in love with his uncle's mysterious little wife, and did not expect that the woman also had a good feeling for him.

In the process of getting along, they have unruly feelings, but they have no restraint, they still have a relationship, and after breaking through ethics and morality, they are desperate to find opportunities to date.

Later, the man's uncle discovered their adultery, but he did not use violent means to break up the two, he gave them a test, as long as after this period they want to do what they want to do he does not interfere, the only premise is that their hands must be tied together.

At first, the male and female protagonists were very excited, they could finally be together carefree, so they ignored the intimacy of being together, but the passion of the flesh soon withered, and when they were tired of seeing each other's bodies, they couldn't wait to be separated.

But there was still a long time before they and their uncle had agreed, and the days when they could only lock together whether they ate, drank, or slept in a daze soon upset them.

They began to blame each other, then they scolded each other, and in the end they tortured each other, eager to kill each other and escape from this life.

The movie is very scary but very realistic, because how many people's marriages are also on this road, the difference is that the locks in the movies we can see, but the locks in life are everywhere, like shadows.

Getting too close to each other is a disaster, whether it is a husband or wife or a lover.

Leave a little space, not only to keep it beautiful, but also to extend the shelf life.

Before entering marriage, everyone hopes that their marriage can always be beautiful, but there are always some people who forget their original intentions as they walk, blindly enslave each other in the name of love, and control each other.

In fact, whether it is marriage or love, we should not forget to love each other, forget to understand, and forget respect because we have walked for a long time.

Middle-aged couples should treat their marriages with "respect for each other as guests".