A friend asked in the group: "The child refuses to wash in the morning, and he does not move for half a day, what should he do?" ”
One mom replied, "My son used to do the same, and then I told him that if you finish washing on time, you can get a five-pointed star." Collect five five-pointed stars to fulfill a wish, since the implementation of this reward system, the effect is obvious, you can try to see. ”
At this time, another bao mom also jumped out to speak, "Now it seems that everyone is using rewards to let children do things, my son told me that a classmate in their class got an Apple mobile phone last semester, because the final exam results of the last semester met the requirements of their parents, and the parents rewarded." However, this child is only in the fourth grade, ah, now on the Apple mobile phone, I am afraid that I will reward the plane in the future. ”
Then the topic in the group changed from how to let the child wash well, to whether the child should be rewarded in the end, you said a word to me, suddenly lively.
Happy is the neighbor's child. When I first started kindergarten, because my parents had to go to work, I was usually taken care of by my grandparents.
On weekdays, the elderly also implement a reward system, such as "Eat all the food, grandma will give you a dollar." "Go to kindergarten and buy chocolates from school." ......
Gradually, children began to like to talk to adults about conditions, and things that were not beneficial, children did not do it. No matter what his parents said, he wouldn't listen.
02
In the second season of "Mom is Superman", Hu Ke's parenting style has won the approval of many mothers.
In the first issue, Angie and Xiaoyu'er grabbed the toy, obviously the younger brother Xiaoyu'er got it first, and then was taken away by his brother Anji.
When confronted by her mother, Angie lied and said that she had gotten it first. Hu Ke asked a second time very seriously, and stressed that "honest children will get a small red flower."
Angie understood her mother's meaning and decisively admitted that the toy was stolen. Witty as Hu Ke, she immediately kissed Angie's face and printed a small red flower, and praised Angie with a kiss.
03
Many parents like to motivate their children with verbal encouragement, or substantive rewards. For example, "You're amazing, you're going to do better next time." "As long as you score 100 points, I'll take you to Disney." ......
Indeed, some children will meet the expectations of their parents because of these two incentive methods. But there are also some children, in the face of these "sugar-coated shells", not only no change, and even the original enthusiasm will be weakened.
Regarding the rewards, it is very interesting that the safety jun has heard a small story.
An old man who lives in a small remote mountain village enjoys this peaceful life. But soon this calm was broken, and a group of children found the sunflowers he planted and often came to play in front of his house.
No matter how much the old man intimidated and reprimanded them, he failed to drive them away. Finally, he came up with an idea that solved the problem.
When the children came again, the old man gave each of them a dollar. Tell them: "I now think that your arrival makes me feel that this place is much more lively than before, and I hope you will come to play often." If you come to play, I will give you money every day. ”
A week later, when the children came to play, he gave 5 mao. The children are a little upset about how the money has become less.
Another week later, when the children came to play, the old man did not give money. The children were even more upset about why there was no money. In the end, they simply stopped coming here to play.
Ah, obviously with money to encourage children to play, why didn't the children come in the end?
This is where the old man's wit comes in, and he corrupts the taste of the child with money. Children who lose their rewards, like diesel engines that have turned off the fire, cannot be started, and naturally do not go anymore.
04
The same is to reward children, why do different families use it, the effect is so different?
Rewards are an indispensable part of education, how to use it so that it can play a positive role?
01
Replace rewards with "celebrate"
Generally speaking, material rewards (chocolates, toys, clothes, travel) and verbal and written judgmental praise (you are doing well, you are a good child, you are diligent, etc.) are given to the child individually, and when converted into celebration, it is no longer an exchange, but an extra joy, a happy ceremony in which the family participates.
Then the child's acceptance logic will become: hard work will be rewarded, and mom and dad will celebrate with me extra. Therefore, a virtuous circle will be formed, which is also conducive to parent-child relationship!
Appreciate with specific details, hard work is better than smart!
The child has a growth mentality and a fixed mentality, praise the child's efforts, can cultivate his growth mentality, because the effort can become better; more praise for his intelligence and wit, talent, will strengthen his fixed mentality, because naturally so!
That is to say, different words of praise will have a great impact on children. Therefore, when rewarding children, the words of praise should be cut from the perspective of effort, more specific facts, to be full.
For example: "You're going to use three idioms today, which is really great!" Compared to "You're so smart!" The idiom is good! "It makes children have a sense of solidity and identity." Don't be afraid to be wordy, boast on the ground, and help your child to progress, so that he can see the room for progress and the extent of progress.
It is better to use more sincerity than means!
Many times, the parent's reward has a clear sense of means and routines for the child. The child's homework is well written, in order to encourage him, but praise, sometimes too deliberately; and once the child does not do well, he seriously criticizes.
Give the child a feeling, the parents' emotions are completely convertible barrier-free, all emotions are to achieve the goal, slap a sweet date, you sing red I sing white and so on.
Deliberate rewards and punishments can sometimes reduce children's spiritual satisfaction. For children who are used to it, the effectiveness is completely reduced. It is recommended that parents use more sincerity and less means. Do not abuse praise, do not deliberately use emotions.
In fact, the child's world is really pure.
In terms of material, it is the adults who step by step increase the child's appetite.
In fact, people's demand for things is never-ending. Only by letting children experience full of love, attention, recognition, appreciation, and making them satisfied with themselves is the best reward for them.
The way to get along
There are interesting and interesting things and attitudes. Analyze the feelings of both sexes, the psychology of men and women, interpret the origin of love marriage and family, discuss the wisdom of getting along with friends in the workplace and friends, share love skills, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, learn children's parent-child relationship, family education, and make your life more harmonious.
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