"Tips for Educating Children" daily classic, good teacher and friend
For the bear children in the family, who speaks best now? Mom and Dad? Grandparents? Grandparents?
No, no, there is only one answer: the teacher in the school.
To exaggerate, the teacher's words are simply "holy will", and the child will not only listen to it, but also carry it out to the letter.
And what parents say is like air, and children rarely listen to it. Many parents have to scare their children like this: If you don't obey any more, I will tell you Teacher Wang...
Why is there such a sharp contrast? What do teachers rely on to gain the awe of their children? What is the real reason behind this?
The teacher gave the child clear rules
Arrive at school on time, say hello when you see the teacher, and don't fight... There are many similar rules.
With such a set of rules, the teacher will not panic in the face of dozens of children in the class, can control the situation, and ensure that everything is in order.
Looking at the vast majority of families, where are such clear rules?
Now that everyone is thinking back together, can you clearly and unambiguously state the 3 rules of the house? Are there written rules in the house?
It is estimated that many people can't say one.
The teacher gave the child a clear reward and punishment
It is far from enough to have rules, because the rules written on paper are empty words, and only those that are actually implemented are called rules.
In school, the implementation of rules is reward and punishment.
From kindergarten onwards, there are little red flowers that we love and hate.
Perform better, in addition to accumulating more small red flowers, you can also upgrade into large red flowers, and finally you can get the real red flowers with the fragrance.
These safflowers are not only rewarded to you, but most importantly: to inform the whole class and to give your little vanity a great satisfaction.
All other rewards are also an upgrade of this little red flower: if you perform well, you can get a certificate, you can receive a prize, and you can stand in front of the whole school and tell your glorious deeds.
As long as the performance is good, the rules in the school will be honored. The teacher will not easily promise, as long as the promise will be fulfilled.
But what about many parents? Many times it is easy to promise and never to be kept.
The smallest thing: you eat quickly, and after eating this bite, you will watch TV. As a result, no.
Bigger thing: you hurry up and write your homework, and when you're done, you can go down and play. As a result, no.
Bigger thing: You study hard and buy you an IPAD if you improve on your exams. As a result, no.
This poses at least two problems:
First, many promises should not be made, children must do something, and should not be promised to reward.
Second, after casually promising, you don't keep it, which cannibalizes the trust and respect of your child.
After accumulating over time, no matter what you say, the child will not believe it. This is not surprising at all.
Cashing out rewards is only one aspect, and cashing out penalties is even more important.
In school/kindergarten, if a child makes a mistake in some way, the teacher will give a "punishment" in time against the rules.
Similarly, looking at parents to their children, many of the punishments under the rules are decorations.
Children do not follow the requirements, crying and playing, as long as the noise is a little more severe, most parents will be soft and yielding. Not to mention punishment, but it becomes a child who threatens his parents.
In the long run, the so-called rules in the mouth of parents, where is the role of half a dime? Everyone also complained: We have made rules for our children, but it doesn't work. Is this really the case?
The teacher sets a good example for the child
Teachers convey positive images to children, and teachers will lead by example what they ask their children to do; while parents often regard themselves as outsiders, only asking how their children are, but never asking themselves.
Ask the child not to be late, and the teacher will arrive early. Many teachers on duty and principals/principals often go to the school/kindergarten gate a lot in advance to wait for their children.
Teachers can do the same when they ask children not to bring snacks, but not only that, but kindergarten teachers can't eat in front of children.
Take a look at the daily life of many parents:
Ask your child not to play games and not play on their phones, the result?
Holding your phone all day long. Even when eating, I can't help but touch it a few times. How can this stop kids from playing with their phones?
Ask your child not to watch TV, the result?
When children write their homework, they watch TV in the living room by themselves. And laugh. How can this make children feel at ease learning?
Ask your child to write homework and make progress, but what is the result?
I don't pay attention to my work and count down every day. How can this allow children to get positive energy from you?
Teachers set good examples for children, at least by example.
So when the teacher points out the child's mistakes, the child is willing to listen, because the child knows that the teacher is doing a good job.
Parents do not give their children an example, but a negative example. You ask the child again, and the child has enough psychological advantages to refute you: you can't do it yourself, and you still come to ask me?
Some people may say: Why can't some teachers manage their children?
Of course, it is because: teachers are teachers in schools and kindergartens, and they do things strictly according to the rules, so they can manage dozens of children in the class.
But back at home, the identity of the teacher becomes the parent, and the behavior of the ta becomes the behavior of ordinary parents. It is not surprising that you did not adhere to the practices you did as a teacher, and you can't control your own child.
Parents are a child's first teacher and a permanent teacher.
At the same time, children are also the teachers of parents, and parents should also change some bad living habits for their children and grow up with their children!
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